10 Pilots We Hope *Don't* Get Made Into Series (2013 Edition)

Picking out 20 pilots we want to see get made was a breeze, but wile sorting through the list of potential new network shows, we also noticed that a lot of DO NOT WANT options were piling up. So here are 10 pilots we're recommending networks pass on this pilot season for reasons that range from "bad business decision" to "John Stamos." 

Of course, these selections are based on loglines and casting and not a single frame of actual footage, so there is a one-thousand-percent chance that I am wrong here. Also, all "artist renderings" are just terribly photoshopped time-wasters and should not be considered a product of talent or prescience.



King John

Network: ABC
Genre: A multi-camera John Leguizamo comedy about John Leguizamo
Starring: John Leguizamo (Spawn), John Leguizamo (Ice Age), John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge), and John Leguizamo (ER). From John Leguizamo.
What it's about in one sentence: It's based on John Leguizamo's life as a guy from the Bronx who makes it big, and focuses on how he stays grounded with his family by staying true to his roots.
Why we don't want to see it: Nothing against Leguizamo, but watching shows from aging actors and comedians making multi-camera comedies about their lives doesn't sound like a fun way to spend our evenings. (See also: Jim Gaffigan's pilot at CBS.)
Potential saving graces: How about some good exterior establishing shots of New York!



Westside

Network: ABC
Genre: A "Romeo and Juliet... TODAY!" drama
Starring: Jennifer Beals (Flashdance!), Bruce Greenwood (Star Trek), Odette Annable (House
What it's about in one sentence: Two rival families battle for control of California's Venice Beach, but when a forbidden romance emerges between members of the warring factions, uh-oh!
Why we don't want to see it: This has bland soap written all over it, and the fact that it isn't set in a very interesting place or era (really? Present-day Venice Beach?) doesn't bode well for the show's creativity unless Venice's bodybuilders and those guys who paint themselves gold and stand really still mix it up.
Potential saving graces: A good soap is all about its characters, so it's impossible to tell how rich Westside's roster will be from just a boring logline. If the characters are good, it doesn't matter where the action takes place. But we're really praying for bodybuilders.



Untitled Tad Quill project

Network: CBS
Genre: Multi-camera comedy stopover for Broadway stars
Starring: Matthew Broderick (Ferris Bueller), Kristin Chenoweth (Pushing Daisies)
What it's about in one sentence: A widowed father balances getting back into the dating pool and raising his 12-year-old son.
Why we don't want to see it: Well this doesn't sound too good, does it?
Potential saving graces: Broderick and Chenoweth, both Tony-award winners, could spontaneously burst into song at any moment and fill our hearts with joy. But they'll more likely fill our mouths with vomit. 



I Suck at Girls

Network: Fox
Genre: A comedy from the guy who brought you Sh*t My Dad Says
Starring: Christopher Meloni (Law & Order: SVU), Alex Kapp Horner (The New Adventures of Old Christine
What it's about in one sentence: Why don't you try to make sense of this official logline: "Based on Justin Halpern's book I Suck at Girls, it's a story about a boy becoming a man, and a man becoming a father, in a time before coming of age was something you could Google."
Why we don't want to see it: Halpern is the same man who gave us the Twitter feed "Sh*t My Dad Says," which was turned into the CBS series that made us all think "Sh*t CBS makes." Do we give the guy a second chance? 
Potential saving graces: Ummm... hey look over there! *runs away*



Delirium

Network: Fox
Genre: "Love stinks" sci-fi drama
Starring: Emma Roberts (Julia Roberts' niece, and more importantly, Eric Roberts' daughter), Darren Kragasoff (The Secret Life of the American Teenager), Billie Campbell (The Killing
What it's about in one sentence: In the future, love is outlawed and a medical procedure can remove a person's ability to go goo-goo-eyed over someone, but one girl falls head over heels just months before she's due to be de-loved!
Why we don't want to see it: Like, gag me with a spoon, right? This is going to be The Ending to the Fifth Element: The Series, isn't it? As a huge supporter of love, I'll need a BIG reason to believe in a society that outlaws the emotion, and if that reason doesn't suffice, it will be a fatal flaw.
Potential saving grace: Maybe the de-loving procedure will be particularly gruesome?



Bad Teacher

Network: CBS
Genre: Single-camera second-chance for a bad movie
Starring: Ari Graynor (Fringe), Ryan Hansen (2 Broke GirlsParty DownVeronica Mars), David Alan Grier (In Living Color), Sara Gilbert (Roseanne), Kristen Davis (Sex and the City
What it's about in one sentence: Based on the 2011 Cameron Diaz film of the same name, a potty-mouthed divorcee gets a job as a teacher in order to find her next husband and what? That doesn't even make sense. Is she trying to marry school kids? If so, then okay. Great plan.
Why we don't want to see it: Who's the genius who thinks a bad movie will make a good television show?
Potential saving graces: We actually like the cast, particularly Hansen and Davis. And we're curious to see what Grier is up to these days. 



Welcome to the Family

Network: NBC
Genre: Culture clashin' single-camera comedy
Starring: Mike O'Malley (Glee), Mary McCormack (In Plain Sight), Ricardo Chavira (Desperate Housewives), NOT Rob Schneider 
What it's about in one sentence: A Caucasian family and a Latino family are bonded after kids from each clan fall in love and get preggers.
Why we don't want to see it: Oh this again?
Potential saving graces: It's Modern Family with just the Jay and Gloria part, and I guess I'm being generous by saying that.



Untitled Greg Daniels/Robert Padnick comedy

Network: NBC
Genre: Single-camera comedy about being single
Starring: Mike Castle, Adhir Kalyan (Aliens in America), Eric Andre (Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23).
What it's about in one sentence: One of those "group of single friends trying to survive the labyrinth of mind games and human suffering that is dating in your early 20s" comedies, and yes, that's from the actual logline.
Why we don't want to see it: Aside from Happy Endings and maybe How I Met Your Mother, can you think of another Friends-ish comedy that's worked? This is a tough gig.
Potential saving graces: Eric F[censored]ing Andre! Also, The Office's Greg Daniels is behind it, so maybe it's one of those rare 20-something dating friends shows that works.



Reign

Network: The CW
Genre: Period piece young adult romance
Starring: Adelaide Kane (Power Rangers RPM), Toby Regbo, Torrance Coombs 
What it's about in one sentence: Historical fiction about 15-year-old Mary Queen of Scots as she's betrothed to a prince and keeps her BFFs in her court.
Why we don't want to see it: This is more of a business decision than a statement on quality. The CW is on the verge of being a genre network, and this just wouldn't fit in with its current offerings. Unless Mary Queen of Scots had superpowers! Think about it, CW.
Potential saving graces: Maybe this will get kids interested in history again! No? Okay. Nevermind. 



I Am Victor

Network: NBC
Genre: John Stamos
Starring: John Stamos (Full House)
What it's about in one sentence: It's been described as House but with a divorce attorney played by John Stamos instead of a doctor.
Why we don't want to see it: John Stamos and NBC... not sure which one is more desperate. This is basically Harry's Law with a male lead who happens to be John Stamos. Also, the whole "House but..." pitch is tired. 
Potential saving grace: Possible Full House reunion for the former cast members who can drag themselves out of their beds. Also, John Stamos!


What do you think? Do any of these sound like something you'd actually want to see? 


Comments (87)
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Jul 06, 2013
I went back to find this article after everything has been ordered and such, and what actually looks to me like the best comedy this season is Surviving Jack (formerly known as I Suck at Girls). Welcome to the Family made it, and I don't think it will be that bad, I think it will get a few more episodes ordered, like Guys with Kids this year, and maybe renewed as a midseason replacement for next year, unlike Guys with Kids. Reign will be dead, fast! And hopefully moved to Fridays right away and replaced by The 100. Bad Teacher got picked up late. Please, CBS, you already have one comedy that may be good that won't make it onto the schedule. Then you order a second, crappy one?
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May 01, 2013
Wait a minute, didn't you guys put Delirium in the WANT TO SEE category? In any case, I do want to see it!
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May 01, 2013
I loooooove Kristin Davis and Ryan Hansen (Dick, I miss you!)
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May 01, 2013
I saw the King John Leguizamo pilot. It is so bad, but probably win't air because he's busy with two other TV projects as well as a stage show. However, I do not see how he's involved in all these projects when he's so unfunny and untalented. And his pilot is so bad...
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May 01, 2013
All these shows sound like they could be used at Gitmo for enhanced interrogation. Although the last one sounds even worse. Nobody from Full House should be let back on TV!
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Apr 29, 2013
These mostly seem like shows which are trying to be other, better, shows currently on the air. That strategy has rarely produced a hit. Take the Untitled Greg Daniels/Robert Padnick comedy, which is trying to be the next in the Friends Lineage before How I Met Your Mother even goes off the air, and with New Girl waiting in the wings as a more likely successor to that lineage anyway, since it's different enough that it can fill roughly the same niche without being a re-tread.
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Apr 28, 2013
Reign and Delirium sound awesome, plus they sound better any of the 20 pilots we want to see made that list was awful!!!!!
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Apr 27, 2013
A few of these i could give a shot...but not much more than that.

And i strongly disagree with the phrase "Who's the genius who thinks a bad movie will make a good television show?" I think Buffy proves it wrong, although the movie wasn't terrible it wasn't good either
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Apr 26, 2013
King John, because John Leguizamo thinks we've all forgotten by now... but we haven't. Never forget.

Westside, what the fuck are you talking about "control of Venice Beach"? I was there yesterday, there's nobody in control, not gangs, not vendors, not artists, not street performers. It's also worthless to any criminal element. Sounds like utter silly claptrap, but it's "Venice" which is similar to "Verona" in that it's Italian and starts with a "V", I guess. Also, Venice, CA is nothing like the rest of the west side of LA where I live, so even the title sucks. And then ABC is mediocre at this sort of shart, Fox would do much better.

Tad Quill Project lost me at Matthew Broderick and Kristin Chenoweth being a widowed father and a girl he's dating. Shrill and awful is what I perceive, mixed with overly sensitive.

Christopher Meloni makes I Suck at Girls slightly not the worst thing ever, but the premise kills it again. Not as hard as Fox will kill it though, I'm sure.

Delirium sounds like it rips off THX-1138 and Logan's Run, but I'm sure dry '70s sci-fi will translate super good to a Fox teen soap, right?

Bad Teacher will probably be terrible, but I want to see this made on TV just for the sheer pleasure of watching CBS figure out how "bad" to let the teacher be. The premise seems pretty terrible though, I didn't know the main character was out to find a man, because teachers make so much money and aren't stressed at all, and parents love teachers that are horrible.

Welcome to the No.

Greg Daniels/Robert Padnick comedy, love Eric Andre but hate everything else about this premise, and I hate the idea that Eric Andre might be reduced to a boring, shallow nothing of a "black friend" character.

Reign, oh wow that sounds unbelievably CW - "it's _____ with a teen twist!" - and terrible.

I Am Victor, you are destined to fail.
More+
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Apr 26, 2013
I kinda want to see "Love Stinks" from Fox only because I think it could end up being 12 awesome episodes of a beautiful mess that will make me laugh until I cry.
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Apr 26, 2013
I Suck at Girls might not be as bad as you think. It depends on how raunchy (but funny) it gets.
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Apr 26, 2013
Why is it girl Emma Roberts quitting film and going to television?
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Apr 28, 2013
who cares I rather see Emma every week!!!
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Apr 26, 2013
Adhir Kaylan is terrific and one of the reasons (besides David Spade) why I've slowly found a way to like Rules of Engagement.
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Apr 26, 2013
Why Stamos? Bob Saget should have a show. And I don't mean one with clean Full House humor either.
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May 01, 2013
NOOOO! Just because he played a wholesome dad, but is really a guy who cusses a bunch does not make him suck ANY less. Say no to the Sagat!
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May 01, 2013
Boo! He doesn't have to cuss to excell at his brilliant rauncy humor. That's just the cherry on top of an already stellar routine. Watch this early routine that excludes the foul language:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDCRBsmjXbw
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Apr 25, 2013
Hmm...
-I Suck at Girls. Maybe it's because I just want to see Christopher Meloni in something. I'd give that a shot, just for him.
-Bad Teacher. Yeah, that was a pretty bad movie, but I can't get past that cast. I mean, Ryan Hansen, David Alan Grier, Sarah Gilbert, and Kristen Davis. That's tempting enough for me to tune in at least once.
-Welcome to the Family sounds like a combination of The George Lopez show and Modern Family or something. Once again, it's all in the actors. Maybe it's because I'm still pissed about the In Plain Sight cancellation, or maybe it's because by the last season Carlos Solies from DH had grown on me, or maybe it's because Mike O'Malley plays such an awesome dad on Glee. I'd want to see those folks.
- I Am Victor- I like House. I used to like Harry's Law before they changed everything. I love staring at John Stamos.
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Apr 25, 2013
I'm a big ol' softie, so any love story could potentially grab my interest. I guess the question is if it would be able to keep it past the natural chickflick time limit? Eh, we'll see. If they're made.
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Apr 25, 2013
Why Bad teacher was a bad film? Ok, it wasn't award worthy, but I laughed my ass off. Diaz lifeless expressions of 'I don't give a fuck' were hilarious.
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Apr 25, 2013
Okay Dellerium sounds dull, but if its anything like the books, than we might have gold. The books are amazing!!

Oh, and didn't FOX already try WESTLIFE with SKIN before? I mean I loved SKIN, but that story didn't work before, and it might not work again.
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Apr 25, 2013
I think Reign is Cw's attempt to do a game of thrones/tudors copycat for teenagers and althought i'd like to watch a show about Mary Queen of Scots I simply don't trust the network to do something that doesn't look like a cheap teen-soap in costumes. CW is better with fantastic series.

I'm however curious to see watch Bad Teacher would look like on TV. I think it was a decent movie and I liked the fact that, unlike 99% of rom-coms, it didn't try to change or normalize its main character. So if the tv show doesn't end up being another comedy where at the end of each episode the character explains that "he learnt something today!" I could watch that.
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Apr 25, 2013
I would watch all of these pilots and savagely rip them apart. I loved what Amazon did. Pilots are fun.
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Apr 25, 2013
Ooooh, no, I want to see Emma Roberts and Delirium! I like that kind of scrap...
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Apr 25, 2013
also emma roberts is FINE!
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Apr 25, 2013
Bad news that Leguizamo might get yet another chance to try to convince us that he's funny. It hasn't worked so far -- anywhere, ever -- and there's no reason for me to think it'll work this time, either.

Good news that Eric Andre might continue to get some mainstream exposure, UNLESS it means the end of his bizarre, insane and terrific "The Eric Andre Show" on [adult swim].
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Apr 25, 2013
Isn't there a movie coming out about the exact same thing. Outlawing love and whatnot? I won't watch that so i doubt i will watch the tv show.
Bad Teacher wouldn't actually sound that bad if it were to be on HBO or Showtime. Basically anything that let's you swear like a sailor. But i guess those networks know better. So, is that more of a catch 22 or ironic? I never quite got that.
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Apr 25, 2013
Most of these sound awful but may be there is hidden gem in this pile of crap
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Apr 25, 2013
Vad teacher series i wanan see....the movie wasnt bad i dont know why tv.com sayin it is....lets stick to tv and not rate movies
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Apr 25, 2013
exactly!
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Apr 25, 2013
They all sound dull and not original. This is what happens when committees decide programmes.
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Apr 25, 2013
These sound like total crap but my guess is that they're more likely to be successful with the non TV.com community than the 20 shows we'd like to see! Am I right ?
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Apr 25, 2013
Have to agree, not one of those sounds interesting.
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Apr 25, 2013
I am confident none of these will happen, because surely TV execs have better things to spend money on!
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Apr 25, 2013
True... Yet again, anger management exists.
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Apr 25, 2013
OMG they all stink to high heavens...
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Apr 25, 2013
Thank god none of the shows that I wanna watch are on this list. None of the shows on this list sound good.
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Apr 25, 2013
Thank you for mentioning Eric Roberts as Emma's father. Oddly, he never seems to get credit for that with her always being introduced o talk shows with the Julia connection. Then again, in interviews I've seen, she never talks much about him either.

I wouldn't cal Happy Endings a series that "worked". It has always struggled enough to eventually be bumped to Friday and I doubt it will return. I never really liked it, but doing so is different than saying it works - Maybe for you, but not for mass audiences.

It would be nice to see a quality Hispanic focused series that breaks ground without needing to be "whited" down for American audiences. More so with a growing Hispanic population. I haven't seen any decent portrayals of Hispanics in a network series since Ugly Betty despite the fashion world setting. I doubt Leguizamo will add anything or the new George Lopez show, which sounds like the old Lopez show. Don't even think about Marc Cherry's new series about the maids. Welcome to the Family sounds like the wrong way to get the ball rolling in this area, as was Schneider's show.
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Apr 25, 2013
Happy endings is an excellent, clever, hilarious show that does work! It's just on a wrong network.
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Apr 25, 2013
I just read about Terminales or "Chasing Life" on ABC Family. I wondered if there were adaptions of Mexican, Spain, Brazilian, etc. material that could be done, if not already, and that I am not familiar with, so there's hope.

Then again, it's ABC Family...
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Apr 25, 2013
John Leguizamo is making a show about “how he stays grounded with his family” . . . and he’s naming it “King John”. Wow. High five’s all around, John Leguizamo’s family.

If I remember my 4th grade book report correctly, Mary Queen of Scotts had powers of super craziness and super sluttiness. So maybe this is Gossip Girl without the parental recrimination. (“But Mom, it’s not trash, it’s history!")

Delirium seems like it should be on CW, no? Supernatural hijinks, YA source, guaranteed star-crossed lovers, angst up the wazoo, potential for 2 million really loyal viewers. . . .

The world does not need another Romeo and Juliet reboot. C’mon, give us something new! How about a fresh new take on Titus Andronicus? (I’m looking at you Food Network.)
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Apr 25, 2013
I will watch one complete episode of Westside if they make it based solely off of the accompanying photo which I can only reasonably assume is a screen shot taken from the pilot. In fact tell Price to cancel his current show idea and work on this animation instead.
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Apr 25, 2013
I'm sorry, but Bad Teacher has zero saving factor. The movie sucked so much I couldn't make it all the way through, using the disc as a frisbee against the back fence. If anything will make me stop watching TV, apart from the glut of 'reality' crap out there, is the idea of this show being produced.
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Apr 25, 2013
I love the book Delirium-I would love for this show to happen. And Reign sounds fantastic, mainly because I love Mary Queen of Scots. Everything else sounds terrible.
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Apr 25, 2013
Ha ha, I remember Delirium being listed in the pilots from last year. They're still kicking the idea around, apparently. Was a second pilot shot?
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Apr 25, 2013
I might watch Reign simply because it has Mary Queen of Scots and no other reason, I'm not a fan of any of the other parts of the description and the CW has only produced a handful of shows I like but I'll give it at least a chance. Everything else here sounds like tv cancer, but I'm surprised the new Seth MacFarlane show didn't make this list, I would sure make mine.
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Apr 25, 2013
I actually liked Bad Teacher although I don't see how it will work on Network? FX would be a better suited fit. And I adore Kristin Chenoweth so I hope her show does get made!
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Apr 25, 2013
"Potential saving graces: Ummm... hey look over there! *runs away*"

Lol! Wow, ya hopefully most of these don't see the light of day...
Though I would say Delirium, Westside, and Reign have an ounce of potential
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Apr 25, 2013
Genre: John Stamos
LOL!!!
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Apr 25, 2013
I'm for Westside. The others can suck it.
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Apr 25, 2013
Most of these do seem like crap.

Delirium has a big premise, and if done right, could be great. But doing right with a big premise is rare -- it can EASILY be the worst thing ever made. I wouldn't mind seeing it made into series, just to see if it's absolute crap or if they're able to make it pretty damn good.

The other two that I maaaay like if they're picked up are Welcome to the Family and the untitled Greg Daniels/Robert Padnick comedy. The premise for both are boring but sitcoms always are. If I had read the premise for Community before it had been made, I'd have said blah to that too. I think I did say "Blah" to Happy Endings when I just read the premise of it, only because it made it sound like a romcom. Modern Family's premise was boring as hell, but the first season in particular was pretty great. So, yeah, I maaaay like Welcome to the Family and the Greg Daniels project if they're written well (obviously)... the only thing I'm going by at the moment is that I like Mike O'Malley, Mary McCormack, and Eric Andre.
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Apr 25, 2013
I'd like to see Reign as the CW's attempt at making a clean, network Game of Thrones.

If Bad Teacher fails, maybe they'll make another series based on Catholic Priest. Basically reworking the formula until child molestations works as a TV show.

King John, remember the Paul Reiser show?

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Apr 25, 2013
Well beside the house copycat there all seem like crap as usual
I think should take a break from doing stupid sitcom and try to make more drama or maybe parodies
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Apr 25, 2013
smh....they make shit like this that no one with any sanity will like / watch and yet they cancel / axe / shorten / ruin things most people love ?
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Apr 25, 2013
Um no I am extremely excited about Delirium. The novels were pretty fantastic plot wise and I m really excited to see how they adapt this into a television show. There is some great talent attached and everything I have seen so far production wise looks intriguing.
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Apr 25, 2013
Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.
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Apr 25, 2013
I should start reading the comments first
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Apr 25, 2013
I like Matthew Broderick and Kristin Chenoweth, but yeah, that sounds bad. I know you only mentioned Jim Gaffigan in passing, but I would watch his show. It must fall somewhere in the middle.
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Apr 24, 2013
I would actually watch Delirium, and I would probably check out Westside if time permitted.

I love this line about Reign: 'The CW is on the verge of being a genre network, and this just wouldn't fit in with its current offerings. Unless Mary Queen of Scots had superpowers! Think about it, CW.' Haha
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