2 Broke Girls: Prison Cake

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2 Broke Girls S01E19: "And the One-Night Stands"

Birthdays, poverty, and prison: Only one of these is supposed to be entertaining to polite company and the Boyfriend and I discussed that point during last night’s 2 Broke Girls, specifically whether or not those of us who watch (and enjoy) 2 Broke Girls can actually be categorized as “polite company.” And by discuss, I mean that I laughed so hard that I fell over when Han cornered Max in the walk-in and she immediately assumed he wanted to take advantage of her. Between undignified snorts, I said, “I’m a bad person.”

Boyfriend nodded sagely from our hand-me-down La-Z-Boy and said, “Yes, you are.”

So I guess that answers the polite company question and I guess I didn’t pass, but it’s okay. I’m over it. Any series that can take birthdays, poverty, and prison and make them inappropriately hilarious is magical.

Han had discovered that it was Caroline’s birthday and implored Max to throw her a party. Naturally, she was having none of it because her own past was littered with birthday trauma. But she got over it and threw the Worst Party Ever at the diner. Meanwhile, Caroline banged the code monkey who was designing the girls' cupcake website and ran into Oleg during her walk of shame. He finally got to have “hand sex” with Stiffler’s Mom. I’m so proud.

However, one misconception that I believe must be corrected is the idea that the walk of shame is exclusive to one night stands. Don’t think of it as “messed up sex hair,” think of it as “I-woke-up-in-a- strange-basement-and-oh-god-I-can-still-taste-the-tequila” hair. There are all sorts of walks of shame, but personally, I've always assumed that if you can still walk, then you had nothing to be ashamed of... and that goes for both types of walk.

See? Bad person. Told you.

After the Worst Party Ever, Caroline admitted that the only thing she wanted for her birthday was to see her father. Max made it happen because she’s Caroline’s BFF: Broke Friend Forever. She got them on the “Bang Bus” for conjugal visits because it was free. It was also a bus full of horrors, kinda like the express shuttle to Wal-Mart that my alma mater used to run for students, except we had to pay a dollar for that, so in a way, it was worse.

At the prison, it was Max’s turn to participate in the one-night-stand storyline when one of hers happened to be serving time for burning down a Chipotle (Chipotle is delicious! How dare you?). His name was Irish, and was Irish. 2 Broke Girls sure loves its racial stereotypes, eh? The consistent pattern of substituting racial caricatures for personality among the supporting cast is one of the show's few detractions, and it makes me cringe, week in and week out. The obvious sociological implications aside, it just makes the writers look lazy. So stop it.

Irish ended up being on the crazier end of the one-night-stand spectrum, complete with Max’s face tattooed on his stomach. When he started a fight, conjugal visit time was effectively over. Womp womp.

It was a tense ride back to the city on the Bang Bus. Max told a heartwarming tale about the time she stole twenty bucks from her mom’s purse to buy herself a Fudgie the Whale ice cream cake from Carvel, resulting in the best birthday ever. I understand, Max. My best birthday ever was, oh, I’m gonna go with twenty-two, mostly because I don’t remember it. That wasn’t so much a walk of shame as a piggyback ride of shame. But there was cake, and cake makes everything better. Just ask the patrons of the Bang Bus. Feeling bad about screwing up everyone’s booty calls and Caroline’s time with her dad, Max bought Fudgie the Whale cake for the whole bus, prompting Caroline to schmoopily inform us all that the best kind of friend isn’t your Broke Friend Forever, it’s your BBFF: Bang Bus Friend Forever.

I know, it’s hard to believe that such a cringe-worthy line came out of the same episode that gave us the phrases “browse your yahoo” and “You want a big hard drive with a lot of ram.” Caroline slept with a computer programmer... get it? Oh, 2 Broke Girls, talk nerdy to me.

What'd you think of the episode?

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