20 Memorable Moments from 8 Seasons of Weeds

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It’s been a long, strange trip and on Sunday, the Botwin family saga will draw to a close when Weeds airs its final episode. From the well-manicured lawns of Agrestic to Bubbie’s funky house in Ren Mar and the stately streets of snooty Old Sandwich, Nancy and her brood have amused, horrified, and occasionally grossed us out. And so, as we head into the homestretch, we here at TV.com thought it would be a good time to visit some of Weeds' most memorable moments. Here are the 20 that stand out in our minds most.


SEASON 1


Pre-Glee Jane Lynch as “The Candyman”

Season 1, Episode 4: “Fashion of the Christ”

We love her as nefarious Cheerios coach Sue Sylvester over on Glee these days, but for one episode back in Weeds' inaugural season, Jane Lynch was “The Candyman,” a fitness-obsessed pot dealer specializing in baked goods. At one time, The Candyman weighed in at a solid 300 lbs and through hard work and probably something bordering pathological determination, she lost it all, refusing to let waifish Nancy walk off with her tasty purchases unless she committed to a tough exercise regimen.


Celia’s Cancer Crash

Season 1, Episode 4, “Fashion of the Christ”

Not to be upstaged by the crate of soda-pop that crashed through the Hodes’ ceiling as a cargo plane flew overhead, Celia decided that the late-night insurance nightmare seemed like the perfect time to drop a bombshell of her own. As her hapless husband Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and attempted to make sense of the gaping hole in their roof and the army of self-detonating Coke bottles, Celia calmly stated, “I have cancer,” paying no mind to the destruction right in front of her.


Nancy’s Inner Circle

Season 1, Episode 10: "The Godmother"

While Weeds is first and foremost a comedy, from time to time, there are those dramatic moments that stick out. While the first meeting of Nancy’s circle—Doug, Dean, Sanjay, Andy, Alejandro, and Conrad—had its fair share of humor, including Doug and Dean arguing over who should be the “hired muscle” in the group, the final image of the men and their female leader, gathered around the table to admire the plant that would make them thousands of dollars while the theme from The Godfather (or at least something that sounds very, very close) played in the background, was chilling. Especially when Lupita quietly shut the door in a curiously observing Shane’s pre-homicidal face.


SEASON 2


Dirty Uncle Andy Gives Shane Some Pointers

Season 2, Episode 3: “Last Tango in Agrestic”

After Shane jammed up the plumbing in their Agrestic home by flushing his “goo gloves” down the toilet, Nancy instructed Andy to talk to Shane about his little masturbation habit. And, of course, because it was Andy, the discussion—while certainly informative—was also a little bit traumatizing. From the abrasive nature of socks to the wonders of “jerking it” in the shower to the versatility of banana peels, it wasn’t a lecture Shane (nor any of us) were likely to forget. It even made Weeds' own list of memorable moments!


Toe Woes

Season 2, Episode 7: “Must Find Toes"

Andy’s mangled foot caused him no end of turmoil in the seasons following his unfortunate altercation with an Armenian drug cartel’s guard dog. When everyone thought Jill was knocked up with his oopsie-baby, he even considered prosthetics so that he could wear sandals when they took their spawn to the beach. However, Andy’s lost toes had their perks: They got sexy rabbinical school teacher Yael to pay attention to him and led to a brief career in the porn industry.


Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

Season 2, Episode 12: “Pittsburgh”

Corrupt DEA agent Peter Scottson’s death at the hands of Nancy’s Armenian drug lord neighbors took place off-screen and was only ever mentioned in passing, however, the ramifications of his murder reached far into the series’ run, particularly in son Tim’s recent revenge quest. But even at the time, Peter’s death brought a darkness into Nancy’s empire. His was the first death that could be directly tied to her business, a distinction that, at the time, Nancy didn’t take lightly. Despite Peter’s own not-so-nice actions, including what essentially amounted to blackmail and extortion when his and Nancy’s marriage of convenience began to crumble, Nancy felt guilty for his death and reached out to his remaining family. Of course, as we all know, that didn’t end well at all.


SEASON 3


Doug and Dean Compare Equipment

Season 3, Episode 1: “Doing the Backstroke”

After their friendship fell apart due to Dean’s incompetence costing Doug his reelection to the city council and Doug banging Celia, the two Agrestic residents who would have probably felt more at home in the Delta Tau Chi frat house needed some serious bonding time. What makes for better bonding time than locking yourself in the host’s bathroom during a party to raid the medicine cabinet of the good stuff? While drunk on liquor and high on painkillers and cough syrup, Doug and Dean worked through their rough patch and got their bromance in order... complete with a competition to see who had the bigger junk.


Celia Drowns the Weed

Season 3, Episode 2: “A Pool and his Money”

It was like a game of Hot Potato except the potato was Conrad and Nancy’s entire harvest of MILF, and the cost of losing the game was their lives. Silas stole the weed from the grow house and, when pulled over for stealing “Drug Free Zone” signs around Agrestic, lost his car and his precious cargo to Councilwoman Celia Hodes. While Celia would later start a drug business of her very own, at the time, she was the driving force behind “a drug-free Agrestic” and saw it as her civic duty to dump the entire stash in Nancy’s pool. Okay, and she really, really wanted to spite Nancy too. Still, CIVIC DUTY.


“Get a F*cking Job.”

Season 3, Episode 3: “The Brick Dance”

Look, we were all thinking it. Okay, I was thinking it. I realize that the world is hard and Nancy wasn’t qualified to so much as take phone messages and that any job she was lucky enough to land would never have provided for her family on the level that her late husband’s engineering job did. But still, she seemed to jump to the illegal stuff awfully quick. Before professional thug U-Turn took Nancy on as his Padawan, she was little more than an errand girl, working off the debt of the drowned MILF harvest. When she realized that the only payment for her services would be credit toward her debt, she asked U-Turn how she was supposed to provide for her family—to which he responded, “I don’t know, get a fucking job like everyone else!” Thank you, U-Turn.


The Ghost of Judah Botwin

Season 3, Episode 14: “Go”

Oh snap, another one of those pesky dramatic moments. As Agestric burned down around her in the aftermath of Guillermo’s arson overkill, Nancy decided to burn down her own house and start over. Having finally snapped, Shane was convinced that his father was still roaming the house as a ghost, a fact that Nancy vehemently denied. However, as she doused the living room with gasoline and prepared to strike the match, Nancy seemed to finally understand just how dramatically her life—and the lives of her sons—had changed. She apologized for what she was about to do and assured the “ghost” of her late husband that, despite what it looked like, she had tried to do the right thing.


SEASON 4


Killing Bubbie

Season 4, Episode 3: “The Whole Blah Damn Thing”

I know they all had the best of intentions in euthanizing Bubbie, the Botwins’ bedridden great-grandmother, but I can’t get over the fact that when turning off her life-support failed and she kept breathing, the next logical step was “Shane, bring Mommy a pillow.” I was both delighted and disturbed. I’d have to say it’s my favorite one-liner in the entire series.


Nancy Gives “The Talk”

Season 4, Episode 8: “I Am the Table”

With Shane jerking off to pictures of his mother from her college years and Silas banging the neighbors’ thirty-something mom, Nancy finally realized that her teenaged sons had some pretty blatant Oedipal issues going on upstairs. Her attempt to talk to them was a clear reminder of why it was just better if she pawned mom-duty off on somebody else. Shane hid under a blanket. Silas left the room. And it was back to business as usual.


Nancy’s Hallucinations

Season 4, Episode 10: “The Love Circle Overlap”

Nancy Botwin is a drug dealer. She’s okay with that. She’s not a bad person. I mean, she totally IS, but it’s not the drug-dealing that makes her an awful human being so much as the fact that she’s just an awful human being. However, Nancy Botwin is not a slave-trader, and when she learned that the tunnel to Mexico beneath her drug-front maternity-wear shop was being used NOT to smuggle weed across the border, but to traffic young women into the sex-slave trade, she began to hallucinate the various frightened young women who she allowed to pass through her shop. Guilt-ridden, she eventually betrayed Guillermo to end the trafficking in her tunnel.


SEASON 5


Andy’s Date with Molly Ringwald

Season 5, Episode 5: “Van Nuys”

It was going to be awkward. Of course it was going to be awkward. When Andy went to the bank to gain access to a rich, dead uncle’s fortune, he had to pass himself off as dead brother, Judah. Unfortunately, the nice head-case at the bank, Margaret, knew what the real Judah looked like and was devastated by the news of his death. She offered to give Andy access to the account if he would take her on a date... as Judah. Okay, weird. But still workable. Andy’s alarm bells started to sound when she showed up for date night in full '80s regalia and insisted that he say things that Judah once said. But the icing on the cake was when Judah’s old flame revealed that the relationship was never consummated and Andy-as-Judah had to take her virginity if he wanted his money. Despite the fact that he was beyond freaked out at that point, and that the formerly quaint park that lovesick Margaret claimed was the sight of their first date was now overrun by leering homeless dudes, Andy said yes.


Shane Wacks Pilar

Season 5, Episode 13: “All About my Mom”

Esteban Reyes was not the self-made man of the people he liked to campaign as and he owed quite a bit of his political success to the manipulations and machinations of Pilar Zuazo, a Mexican media mogul and control freak. With elections coming up and Esteban’s insistence on keeping Nancy and Stevie in his life despite the inconvenience their presence caused for the campaign, Pilar figured she could just arrange for the other Botwins, the ones not necessary for favorable photo-ops, to conveniently (and tragically) meet their ends in a car crash, or maybe a plane crash. Pilar herself met the end of Shane Botwin’s croquet mallet and landed face down in the pool.


SEASON 6


Of Course It Was Shane

Season 6, Episode 1: “Thwack”

Nancy was the only Botwin who seemed shocked and appalled by her middle son’s homicidal urges. Okay, maybe Silas too, but he wasn’t so shocked as to take offense at Andy’s nonchalant response to Shane’s gleeful confession. It was only a matter of time, really. Nancy, however, didn’t appreciate the swiftness with which her former brother-in-law determined Shane to be the killer who took out Pilar. “Why does everyone assume it was Shane?” Uh... have you talked to Shane for more than thirty seconds in the past six years? Yeah, didn’t think so.


Nancy Takes the Heat

Season 6, Episode 13: “Theoretical Love is Not Dead”

Nancy loves her kids, though. Usually. She just has a dysfunctional way of showing it. With her luck running out, Esteban and Guillermo back in her constantly-in-moral-peril life, and her growing sons increasingly headstrong in response to their awareness of what she was doing to get by, Nancy realized that Silas, Shane, and Stevie’s only chance at normalcy hinged on being away from her. With Silas and Shane on a plane to Europe with Andy and Doug, Esteban and Guillermo most certainly plotting her death, and the FBI surrounding all the exits, Nancy surrendered willingly. She admitted to murdering Pilar in order to clear Shane’s name, setting us up for the three-year jump in Season 7, where we learned that Stevie was raised by Jill and the rest of the family was still in Europe.


SEASON 7


Heylia’s Back!

Season 7, Episode 6: “Object Impermanence”

Frankly, if the Botwins showed up at my front door after destroying my lucrative pot business, burning down the town, and running away, I’d greet them with a shotgun, too.


Target: Nancy Botwin

Season 7, Episode 13: “Do Her/Don’t Do Her”

Safe in Old Sandwich, cocooned in a new inner circle comprised of her closest family, The Godmother prepared a toast, only to be (seemingly) taken out by a sniper’s bullet. The sniper later turned out to be mentally unstable orphan Tim Scottson, back from Nancy’s past—and the cliffhanger, of Nancy in the crosshairs, kept us talking all hiatus long.


SEASON 8


A New Lease on Life

Season 8, Episode 2: “A Beam of Sunshine”

Who are you and what have you done with Nancy Botwin? In the aftermath of her shooting, Nancy decided to start over and do things right. She wanted to be a real mother to Stevie and try to repair some of the damage she did to her oldest sons. She also wanted out of the drug business, barring one last goodwill donation to her fellow patients at the rehab center. She used her sass and smarts for good, standing up to the price-gouging Clown and handing out free weed-laced goodies to all. It looked like Nancy had turned over a new leaf.


Roots

Season 8, Episode 11: “God Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise”

Yeah, not so fast. After a mildly successful stint in the legal drug trade, Nancy realized that her true passion lies in weed. She quit her Big Pharma job and teamed up with Silas to revive MILF... except Silas didn’t have any seeds, plants, or cuttings. A trip back to Agrestic—renamed “Regrestic”—was in order, to rebuild the empire. It was a pretty awesome trip back home, and lots of familiar faces stopped by; Silas rekindled his romance with Megan, and Nancy teamed back up with Conrad and Guillermo.


We've seen 100 episodes to date and these were some of the most memorable moments to us, but we know there are more out there! List your own favorite Weeds moments in the comments!

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