Last week's news that the TV "adaptation" of Shit My Dad Says—the Twitter feed of a 29-year-old guy who lives with his parents—is advancing to the pilot stage, and with William Shatner in the lead role, had me rolling my eyes. Because, OK, Shit My Dad Says is funny. But creator Justin Halpern is getting an awful lot of fame for, well, writing down what his dad says. Here are five Twitter accounts more deserving of a network deal.
The Feed: BorowitzReport
Twitterer: Andy Borowitz
Sample tweet: “Hummer Owners Left Seeking New Ways to Compensate for Tiny Penises”
Why it deserves a show: Andy Borowitz’s take on current events, usually written as fake headlines or news stories, is timely, scathing, and—most importantly—funny. You might cry “too soon,” but chances are you’ll be too busy laughing.
Compare it to: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report
Chance it’ll happen: Moderate. As far as I know, Borowitz isn’t actively looking for a TV show, but as a well-respected humorist and comedian, he’s got a decent shot. Plus, he created The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, which lives on happily in syndication.
The Feed: DRUNKHULK
Twitterer: Unknown (Bruce Banner?)
Sample tweet: “SEEM LIKE FOR LONG TIME! NO THING COULD STOP TOYOTA! SHAME THEY TOOK IT SO LITERAL!”
Why it deserves a show: Because he’s the Incredible Hulk. But drunk. There is so much comedic potential when it comes to an enormous green superhero with a drinking problem. He even has the power to make Caps Lock not annoying.
Compare it to: Smallville, Heroes, Intervention
Chance it’ll happen: Impossible. Sadly, until Hollywood decides to stop butchering The Hulk, there’s not much hope we’ll see him on TV—especially when he’s slurring his words and waxing philosophical on breaking news.
The Feed: FakeAPStylebook
Twitterer: Various members of The Bureau Chief
Sample tweet: “The adjective ‘hitlery’ (‘This hot dog tastes hitlery’) should be confined to the editorial page.”
Why it deserves a show: OK, it’s possible that this is only ROFL-worthy to my fellow journalists, but the Fake AP Stylebook is way more entertaining than the real AP Stylebook. Instead of helping writers place their commas, the fake version gives misguided and irreverent advice.
Compare it to: Lou Grant, Season 5 of The Wire (but, you know, funny!)
Chance it’ll happen: Slim. I’m not even sure what this show would look like—all I know is that I’d watch it. Of course, I’m part of the target audience: embittered freelance writers, many of whom can’t afford cable.
The Feed: shithenrysays
Twitterer: Henry Oxford (via Kelly Oxford)
Sample tweet: “Mom did you see I was telling you in body language that I wanted more computer time? Because you said if I asked again you’d say no.”
Why it deserves a show: OK, I know I complained about Halpern capitalizing on someone else’s wit, but young Henry’s mom has found success on her own. (Are you following @kellyoxford yet? She’s amazing.) Henry is equal parts precocious and innocent. He’s also one cute little kid.
Compare it to: Kids Say the Darnedest Things
Chance it’ll happen: Likely. Well, kind of. While Henry hasn’t been offered his own deal yet, Kelly is currently working on a pilot for a sitcom based on her life. Once that happens, Henry has a pretty good shot at stardom—at least as a supporting player.
The Feed: conanobrien
Twitterer: Conan O'Brien
Sample tweet: “Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.”
Why it deserves a show: Um, because Jay Leno stole his? Seriously, though, we need Conan back on the air sooner rather than later. His few tweets have the Twitterverse begging for more. And who doesn’t want to see that squirrel interview?
Compare it to: The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
Chance it’ll happen: Definite. It’s only a matter of time before Conan gets another series. Thought it probably won't be on NBC.