Now that a couple of the season's new series have already been canceled and others face imminent death by lethal rejection, the networks are surely scrambling to get their replacement shows ready to air. But the way things are going lately, we're certainly not expecting them to reveal a top-notch slate of original programming. We take a guess at what we're more likely to see...
In a remarkably early spinoff of the successful reboot of Hawaii Five-0, the now-ubiquitous Daniel Dae Kim heads up a tech-savvy team that uses social media to fight crime in the Aloha State. “Plucked from today’s headlines,” the pilot features a story about a teenage theft ring that repeatedly targets the homes of Hawaiian celebs. Arrests are made after the team tracks posts like, “Krystal Z. is mayor of Jack Johnson’s hall closet.”
Battle Creek Galactica
A fanboy fantasy about a geeky but brilliant pair of Michigan high schoolers. After discovering a wormhole portal near their hometown’s famous Kellogg’s Cereal factory, Balthazar Baltar and Harley Hawking travel to distant galaxies and back and forth across time—all while maintaining their GPAs and Katee Sackhoff fan page. Kellogg’s will serve as the series’ primary sponsor and envisions the show as a new branding opportunity for its breakfast products. “We’re actually quite excited about it,” said Kellogg’s representative Tony T. Tiger. “It’s GREAAAT!”
Delaware senatorial candidate, witchcraft dabbler, and abstinence advocate Christine O’Donnell stars as Samantha Stevens in a thrilling reimagining of the classic Elizabeth Montgomery sitcom. The show blends the political intrigue of The West Wing and the action of 24 with the girl power uplift of Wicked and the Tea Party’s anti-government message. The show follows O’Donnell’s adventures after she arrives in the nation’s capital; in the premiere episode, Samantha uncovers and foils a Chinese government plot to take over the United States even while fending off fiance Darren’s (Bill Maher) ill-timed advances.
Boys In The Hoodies
After the strong opening weekend of The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin successfully pitched this upcoming HBO series that follows the ongoing hijinks of Mark Zuckerberg and the Facebook team as they continue their takeover of the known universe. But one Fox executive, who passed on Sorkin’s idea, questioned whether the series would work. She refused to give it a thumbs-up. “Like? It’s complicated,” she said.
CSI: NCIS: Law & Order: Miami: Los Angeles: New York: Las Vegas
Embarking on a unique television challenge, Inception director Christopher Nolan created this multi-layered, multi-coloned drama. CSI:NCIS:LO:M:LA:NY:LV transforms three of television’s strongest franchises into a single series with simultaneous and inter-related action. Said Nolan, “I hate to admit this, but the funny thing is that I had never realized these were actually different shows. Who knew? Who can possibly keep track?”
In a new bad cop/bad cop buddy procedural, former White House Chief of Staff and current Chicago mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel joins America’s favorite disgraced ex-governor Rod Blagojevich to team up and fight crime and corruption in the Windy City. A honcho at ABC told us that it was Blago who developed the series concept. “He just walked in and said, ‘I’ve got this thing and its f---ing golden.’ And we couldn’t agree more. Plus, you just can't say no when you see his hair.”
$#*! My Mom Says
Fresh off her riveting cha-cha on Dancing With the Stars, Bristol Palin gets her own Lifetime mom-com. The show follows the ups-and-downs of a young single woman with a precocious toddler who shares an Anchorage condo with her Twitter-happy politician mother. Show creators will use actual tweets from Sarah Palin “to impart important and inspirational life lessons,” according to a Lifetime press release. The pilot, titled “Eat Prey Love Moose,” is based on the Palin classic, “Mama bear doesn’t look 2 anyone 2 hand her anything.” Tina Fey co-stars.