90210, Hawaii Five-0, and House

What to watch on Monday, April 18.

Well, happy Tax Day, everyone. Either you're patting yourself on the back, rushing to meet a deadline, or getting mentally prepared for a jail term, but at least we're all in this together, am I right? Taxes and Mondays just go so well together! It's okay if your pocketbook is wounded today, let the television be your salve:

8pm, CW
Tonight, one of television's least-essential yet most weirdly entertaining teen soaps returns from hiatus and the gang will get into a whole mess of trouble on a Mexican spring break vacation. In case you are interested in such things, Trevor Donovan will kiss Alan Ritchson. (Whatever you do, DO NOT Google image search either of these people, it's just asking for trouble!)

8pm, Fox
Tonight Thirteen officially steps foot back in the hospital just as Masters considers leaving it, plus the gang treats a 16-year-old girl who collapses before her around-the-world sailing trip gets... sailing? Tune in for better metaphors, hopefully.

8pm, CBS
How I Met Your Mother
John Lithgow returns as Barney's Dad, whom Barney will attempt to impress by asking his friends to lie so his life sounds more impressive. Oh jeez, that is just BEGGING for misunderstandings.

9pm, Syfy
Stargate Universe
The countdown to the series finale continues as tonight the Destiny comes under attack from drones while recharging in a star. And in their escape, the crew members will accidentally stumble upon an abandoned city... of Cylons! Just kidding. I wish. As does Syfy.

10pm, CBS
Hawaii Five-0
Oh dear. Well, in tonight's episode, somebody named "Sean Combs" guest-stars as an undercover NYPD detective bent on revenge against a local crime lord. Here's hoping he'll craft a lackluster rap single by sampling the entirety of the Hawaii Five-0 theme song?

10pm, NBC
Law & Order: Los Angeles
When a city bookkeeper is found dead in a driver-less car following a high-speed chase, investigators suspect the victim's jealous boyfriend may be involved. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't jump to conclusions, guys.


Adventure Time, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
Antiques Roadshow, 8 p.m., PBS
Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC
Dancing With the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC
Intervention In-Depth: Heroin Highway, SPECIAL, 8 p.m., A&E;
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family
Mad Love, 8:30 p.m., CBS
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, 9 p.m., Travel Channel
Bad Girls Club, 9 p.m., Oxygen Gossip Girl, 9 p.m., CW
Make It or Break It, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Quints by Surprise: Turning 2, 9 p.m., TLC
Relapse, 9 p.m., A&E;
The Chicago Code, 9 p.m., Fox
The Event, 9 p.m., NBC
William & Kate, SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m., ABC
Mike & Molly, 9:30 p.m., CBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Bethenny Ever After, 10 p.m., Bravo
Kate Plus 8, 10 p.m., TLC
My Teen's a Nightmare: I'm Moving Out, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Nurse Jackie, 10 p.m., Showtime
Paranormal State, 10 & 10:30 p.m., Syfy
Pawn Stars, 10 & 10:30 p.m., History Channel
The Hard Times of RJ Berger, 10 p.m., MTV
United States of Tara, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Wedding Wars, 11 p.m., VH1
WWE Tough Enough, 11 p.m., USA


Tina Fey on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:52 a.m., CBS

What are you watching tonight?

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