With Season 4 kicking off on Monday, now seems like a good time to get caught up on our Warehouse 13 happenings, right? Right. Don’t worry if you lack the time to watch all 13 Season 3 episodes and refresh your memory—I went ahead and did it for you, and you know what? Jinks’ death still rips my heart out and stomps on it. Sure, “Stand” turned into a bona fide bloodbath of a finale, claiming our beloved H.G Wells and HBIC Mrs. Fredric, but none of the other casualties got a soul-crushing montage leading up to their demise. Don’t even get me started on poor Claudia and her eternally friendless existence. I don’t have enough wine, tissues, or Häagen-Dazs lying around to address it properly.
So here we go, kids: A quick primer on Warehouse 13’s most memorable Season 3 moments (for both good and bad reasons).
Aaron Ashmore, of Smallville fame, joined the cast as Steve Jinks, a former ATF agent recruited to replace Myka after she quit the Secret Service at the end of Season 2. Pete tried hard to hate his new partner and since Myka would clearly return to the warehouse eventually, it was easy to initially dismiss Jinksy as a glorified office temp. Yet from his very first case—tracking down William Shakespeare’s homicidal lost folio—Steve proved himself to a valuable member of the team. He possessed the awesome ability to determine when an individual was telling a lie, he hit it off with my homegirl Claudia, and he held the honorable distinction of being Warehouse 13’s first openly gay character.
One of the things I really adore about Warehouse 13 is its sense of continuity. We’ve been told about Pete’s dysfunctional past, the drinking problem, and the ex-wife who inadvertently intercepted an artifact on the day of her second wedding. We got to meet the former Amanda Lattimer—and she was actually really awesome. It's a real testament to how far Pete has come since his alcoholism that while he and Amanda weren’t about to be BFFs or anything, they were still friendly, and he was genuinely happy to see her remarry.
Neil Grayston guest-starred as Eureka’s Douglas Fargo when one of his inventions, supercharged with an artifact, rendered him trapped in a Warehouse 13 virtual reality video game. While Fargo’s recreation of the warehouse, thinly disguised as a Dungeons & Dragons rip-off, was absolutely hilarious, particularly his Leena and Claudia avatars, things took a turn toward the dark side when Beatrix Potter’s tea set forced players to relive their greatest fears. Claudia’s electroshock nightmare was particularly horrifying and Alison Scagliotti played an utterly terrified Claudia so well that I was legitimately upset. Poor Claudia had a hard season, didn’t she?
We'd tied up one of Pete’s loose ends just a few episodes earlier and in “Past Imperfect” it was Myka’s turn to get in touch with her past. One of the most defining experiences of Myka’s life was the death of her boyfriend/former partner Sam Martino, prior to the start of the series. She'd spent the better part of three seasons blaming herself for his murder, but when the shooter reappeared and seemed to be using an artifact to commit his crimes, Myka learned the sad truth behind Sam’s death: He was set up by their old partners.
It was all hands on deck for the warehouse personnel when regents started showing up dead. Myka, Artie, and Pete ended up crashing a meeting between the three highest-ranking regents when they got wind of an assassination attempt in progress and Pete learned that his mother, Jane, was one of those high-ranking regents. While that awkward family reunion went down, Mrs. Fredric and Steve Jinks attempted to convince perpetual thorn-in-the-side Sally Stukowski to reveal who her boss was. Steve pulled his weapon on Mrs. Fredric when she resorted to torturing the information out of Sally and found himself unemployed by the time credits rolled... or did he?
Jane Lattimer used an artifact to travel back into her memories when she realized that she had a connection to the mysterious Big Bad who kept trying to kill everybody and knew waaaay too much about how to use artifacts for anyone’s liking. Pete insisted on going with her because he was still grumpy about the whole “my mom is a regent” thing, which was totally understandable. During their trip into Jane’s memories, we learned that she had been a warehouse agent herself, but quit to marry Pete’s father. Pete’s father knew all about Warehouse 13 and Jane never wanted Pete to work there. Right after Pete’s father died, Jane was asked to take on one more artifact retrieval because it involved a kid and she had a knack for working with children. As it turned out, that little boy grew up to be Walter Sykes, the murderous madman out to destroy the warehouse and the regents, for taking away the artifact that had enabled him to play baseball after a lifetime in a wheelchair.
After she went a little crazy and tried to destroy the world back in Season 2, the regents struggled to decide what to do with H.G. They finally settled on wiping her memory and giving her a mundane new life as an English teacher in the middle of nowhere. However, a mind as valuable as H.G.’s shouldn’t be completely erased just because it was a little unstable, so the regents stashed her real memories in an artifact, the Janus Coin. Eventually, Pete, Claudia, and Myka realized that Sykes wanted H.G’s mind for the information it could provide on the warehouse and headed off to save her. Unfortunately, things were complicated by the fact that H.G.'s alter-ego, Emily Lake, was a total wuss.
After joining up with Sykes’ gang in the previous episode, Steve Jinks made a pretty convincing bad guy. Things looked pretty grim when Jinks and fellow lackey Marcus Diamond cornered Myka, Pete, Claudia, and the mind-wiped H.G. Wells in the woods, quickly subduing them with Cecile B. DeMille’s riding crop. However, after chasing Claudia further into the forest, away from Marcus’s eager ears, he revealed that he was actually undercover, by order of the regents. Yay! Steve was still awesome! Time to pull out the good stuff and celebrate. The good feels lasted all the way until the opening chords of “Running up that Hill” started to play, which was just too sad of a song to be played for any reason other than the untimely death of Agent Steve Jinks. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, WRITERS? HOW COULD YOU?
As if weeping sloppily into a tumbler full of bad decisions wasn’t enough for the sadists who dreamed up the two-part finale of “Emily Lake” and “Stand” (you awesome, brilliant, awful people, you) , I pulled it together to say goodbye to two more familiar faces—the fiercest of ladies, H.G. Wells and Irene Fredric. Oh, and despite defeating Walter Sykes, the warehouse blew up anyway. Not cool, you guys, although the pocket watch that Artie held up, previously property of one James MacPherson, appeared to hold some hope for...well, I guess we’ll find out on Monday, but since it’s a watch and all, I’m leaning toward some sort of time-altering action.
What about you? What are your predictions for Monday’s Season 4 premiere? Do you think there’s a possibility of resurrecting all the dead left in the finale’s wake? Do we even WANT to resurrect everyone? As much as I really, truly hate to see her go, you have to admit that H.G. Wells’ heroic death finally brought her story full-circle. What about Mrs. Fredric? Do you think that restoring the warehouse would restore the caretaker as well, or do we still need to find a new one? Claudia was once in line for the position—remember back during the Warehouse 2 fiasco in Season 2? She didn’t want it at the time, but if called upon again—say, in the event Mrs. Fredric can’t be brought back—do you think she’d reconsider? That girl is in a pretty dark place at the moment, determined to resurrect Steve SOMEHOW. How do you think things will work out?
Warehouse 13’s fourth season premieres Monday, July 23 at 9pm on Syfy. See you there!