Welcome back... to Alcatraz. By the way, anytime you say "Alcatraz," it should sound like this. Episode 3 of the new Fox procedural, "Kit Nelson," confirmed my darkest fear: that every single episode will be named for its reappearing prisoner/guard of the week! With 302 of those rascals on the loose, that's a lot of names and not much in the way of description. What happened to titles like "Walkabout"? "There's More Than One of Everything"? "Any Vague Detail on What the Episode's About Because I'm Bad with Names"?
This week, the name I'm sure I'll forget later was Kit Nelson, a dude in the Big House for the lowly crime of murdering a child who reappeared in present time and—wouldn't you know it—immediately kidnapped a child! In a flashback, we saw the child murderer get Rodney Dangerfielded (no respect!) at Alcatraz, because child murderers are algae in the penal system food chain. I think it goes, from top to bottom, thieves, crooks, scallywags, miscreants, scoundrels, murderers, rapists, grandmother-slappers, grandmother-rapists, Work It writers, Comcast customer service representatives, and then child murderers.
I'm not here to defend child murdering, because I think it's wrong. And Doc "Hurley" Soto (Jorge Garcia) agreed with me, because he took this week's case very personally. He was able to match up the kidnapper's M.O. in the present day (which involved leaving a Chrysanthemum behind because the show doesn't have time for real detective work) to his scrapbook of Alcatraz prisoner history newspaper clippings (collect all 302!), identified Kit Nelson as the culprit, and deduced that they had only 48 hours until the young boy would be murdered... the perfect amount of time for an hour-long drama.
After that, it was a goose chase as Rebecca and Doc found clues, followed up on them, and got closer to Kit. And the clues came with less complexity than a dinner and murder mystery performance. The child murderer stole a hardware store uniform, so Alcatraz Task Force went to the hardware store and found out that fishing poles were also stolen. Then they Super-Googled "fishing holes nearby" and lo and behold, there was only one fishin' hole in the vicinity—the same place Kit took the boy to! Later, Doc thought Kit was taking the kid to get cherry pie (as for why, no one knows), so he went to every place he could think of that sold cherry pie, and eventually ran into Kit. After Kit escaped, they searched his old belongings and found some expensive soap. That brought up questions about where he got the money to pay for the soap, because no one but Al Capone and Machine Gun Kelly could afford that kind of cleaning product (groan). Doc followed Kit's money trail to his old job, a construction company that went under but made a living by building bomb shelters. Then he Super-Googled "bomb shelters nearby that Kit's old company built" and voila! There was one in the middle of a nearby forest! Thank you, Alcatraz Super Computer. So Doc and Rebecca drove over there to save the kid's life, except the kid got sick of waiting for the Alcatraz Task Force to show up and decided to take action with his own childish hands. And let me tell you, it was by far the smartest thing anyone did in the episode: He threw his shoe at the bomb shelter's only light and dashed toward the exit while Kit fumbled around in the dark. Emerson ought to consider hiring this kid for Alcatraz Task Force. Unfortunately, the kid couldn't outrun Kit because he has short kid legs, but Doc and Rebecca arrived just in the nick of time to point a gun at Kit. Kit said Rebecca wouldn't shoot, and she didn't. Then somehow, Emerson popped out of the bushes and shot the guy in the head. Wait, when did Emerson show up?
So far, that's how it looks like Alcatraz is going to do things. Criminals who aren't that smart will be chased by a special task force that's only about half-an-IQ-point smarter. Then each episode will end on something "mysterious"—this week, it was the reveal that the '60s Alcatraz doctor is alive and the same age in the present day and working at the new Super Alcatraz secret prison. We still don't know why these criminals return to the present and go about their business with the same murdering plans they used back in the day. It's a mystery that will hopefully be explained down the line, but for right now it's a major, major problem that's making it difficult for an audience to connect with the show. We'll also have to assume that the writers will explain how these criminals from the '60s make themselves so comfortable in the present day. If I woke up fifty years from now, my head would explode as soon as I saw my first neutron-teleporter videography holophone. Not these guys, though; they're so bad and so mean that they just go straight back to being bad and mean. Again, this is a problem that the show has plenty of time to explain, but until it does, Alcatraz seems content to remain a knock-off of the rash of serialized shows spawned by Lost. The question is, are we going to care enough to stick around to find out what these mysteries are?
I know what Alcatraz is trying to do. It's trying to have the best elements of a procedural and a serialized mythology show. But so far it's failing miserably at both. The cases are boring, and the reveals are slapped on like a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. We've seen this too many times before to be fooled again.
Extra Notes:
– In the first hour of last week's debut, the bad guy was a man who was angry at his brother. In the second hour, the prisoner was a guy who killed people because he was jealous of his little sister. This week it was a child killer who hated (and killed) his brother. The Alcatraz writers' family reunions must be awesome.
– Are these characters ever going to get more interesting? So far, my favorite character is Tommy Madsen, Rebecca's grandfather at '60s Alcatraz. He at least knows how to deliver dialogue and owns up to the mystery behind him. He's followed by both wardens and Doc's comic-book store friend. But none of the show's central characters are on the radar yet. That's not a good sign. Someone needs to go to the Personality Supermarket and stock up. While we're at it, can we make the prisoners-of-the-week a little more complex?
– How long did the warden's fourth match burn for? That was like a freakin' torch.
– So we ended last week with the reveal that Lucy is a non-ager from the '60s too. And then that bit of info wasn't addressed at all. I knew that was going to be a problem as soon as the "Previously On..." didn't feature one smidge of that. I fear that Alcatraz won't add these "mysterious reveals" organically, and instead use them just to have a "whoa!" moment. That will get very tired, very quickly. Dancing doctor was cool, but don't expect anything more on him in the next episode.
Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom
Tim, you act like someone forcing you at gunpoint to review this show.. I am not expecting an enthusiastic hype and applaud all around it, and the show obviously has its flaws -like many new shows- but your level of criticism, your tone, the way you approach it moves this way out of the boundaries of criticism.. it feels like you are watching it every week just to hate it, as if you made up your mind before even watching it.. nothing worth reading/thinking about comes with such attitude.. so please stop, either pass it on to someone else or let it remain unreviewed.. not that your review changes people's minds but you are decreasing your own credibility.. I, who has been a follower of your writings and admirer of your judgement, feel very disappointed.. not because you did not like it.. but because you are being inexplicably biased about it, (and reasons making me feel such are perfectly well explained by KeyserSoze below)moreless
Tim, isn't it kind of funny that you love so much Person of Interest, yet you hate Alcatraz? I'm not really impressed by Alcatraz and I kinda liked PoI lately but still...same flaws you are complaining in Alcatraz are there in PoI as well, still you overlook them. Stupid character decisions? There (previous episode, near the end, the first bad guy that Carter gets attacks his victim...in a crowded bar?). Mysteries not elaborated? There (Reese past, Skynet's origin). Boring Bad-guy-of-the-week? There. Basic plots not addressed? There (Elias case). Hoping between procedural and serialized? There. Some bad acting? There (pretty much everyone except Reese and Finch). Campy direction? There (The scene in previous episode were Reese used a hammer to brake a tap was too forced to be funny, too cliche, yet you adored it).
So, it's kind of weird that you like PoI and yet you hate Alcatraz after 3 eps only, when they share so many flaws (especially the early PoI episodes)moreless
Mr Surette, thank you very much for your reviews, God knows there are bad shows out there trying to do what Kring and Abrams did in Heroes and Lost (season 1) and I couldn't agree with you more on Alcatraz. I honestly just loved how the kid threw his shoe at the light, totally unrealistic. And why doesn't the cop shoot the criminal. He's supposed to be dead, she's afraid the IA will investigate? Those two have got to be the worst team in history! TG they're ridiculously great at finding where all the criminals are. Keep up the good work Mr Surette!
Lol @ all the Surette's haters, reading all those comments about ppl getting angry at the reviwer is like trying to explain to my grandma what a TV critic is ("are you telling me that some ppl gets paid for watching TV and writing about it???"), lmfao.
Sometimes Tim gets it wrong, other times just spot on, but in any case, Tim Surette is in my opinion that person you LOVE to HATE >:)
Now, in related news, Alcatraz is predictable, slow and I still want Rebecah to get killed, maybe if her own grandpa finishes her her character would be more interesting. I love Hurley to bits, but the guy is killing me, every time he's on screen makes me so worried, he just keeps getting fatter! I fear he will have a heart attack chasing the P.o.W., so pls Alcatraz writers, make the bad guys really slow runners, crippled or even more stupid, so my boy Jorge doesn't have to stress that much and doesn't pop up an artery during the chase.
Love, another Surette mad lover/hater :pmoreless
It can't be said enough how bad this show is. It's a complete waste of Sam Neill. I mean what the heck are they going for with that character? It's like he's pissed that he's found two people that can help him. That said enough cannot be said about the two stars of this show...both of them are mounted right on Sarah Jones' chest. Am I right?
yes you are !
"Then they Super-Googled "fishing holes nearby" and lo and behold, there was only one fishin' hole in the vicinitythe same place Kit took the boy to!"........... Wait. Is it really impossible to have only one fishing hole in a town? I know a lot of places that has only one fishing hole. Another one. "How long did the warden's fourth match burn for? That was like a freakin' torch."........... Expensive matches burns really slow. That is why it is expensive. This writer is just hating so much on this show that he turns believable things into something that does not exist. I have never read anything this biased. SMH I didn't love the show but Tim Surette is exaggerating things A LOT! I really believe that this show will be great after a few episodes more.moreless
Its called the San Francisco BAY AREA. There is definitely more than one spot to fish nearby.
What does this even mean: "I really believe that this show will be great after a few episodes more"? Shows need to be great NOW to hold viewer interest, not after a few episodes more! This isn't the only show Tim Surette reviews and I don't always agree with his reviews, but his justifies his POV with sufficient explanation. His criticism here is more about the 'convenience' of the evidence coming together - especially when taken in collection with ALL the plot contrivances mentioned, rather than a scientific analysis of the number of fishing holes per town in America, or even the 'believability' that a town might have only one fishing hole. Unless a show banks on supernatural events, cases need to have reasonably logical challenges and solutions.
The questions and mystery surrounding the show are still interesting; the episodes, especially this one, aren't.
It may be a valid point, but it's weak to defend a mystery based on the mystery alone. It's clear to most people that in a show surrounding one big mystery, the big picture wont be revealed until the end of the series, with some big parts of it revealed at the end of every season, and with small parts of it revealed at the end of every episode. But the only way you can keep viewers interested enough to keep watching isn't necessarily with the mystery, it's with the characters and the writing of each "case of the week." The characters, so far, are boring. The writers, so far, are a little lazy and formulaic. They seem to be holding on to the mystery itself as a crutch, hoping that viewers will keep tuning in for the sake of the mystery. This case, and this episode, were boorring.moreless
Doc has been given a "catch", something that would have made him more interesting, but he was not able to go with it at least not in this episode. This episode truly was a disappointment.
I figure the only thing that truly makes sense is the doc and indian chick were simply tw of the first to reappear ...otherwise it really is straying further into lost territory. i'll keep watching but like Tim said both Sarah and Hugo seem to have the hardest time acting their part (could be the writing) and are also the least interesting. yeah, definitely the writing.
These first three episodes bored me terribly. I still hope that the next episodes will become better.
I was going to write a long, well-thought out comment here, but decided I had better things to do with my time.
This show is not good. Hugo Reyes is playing the exact same character as in Lost. Sam Neill is terribly wasted. Sarah Jones is hot. The writing is bad.
But the show's not on NBC? Huh? Sorry, couldn't resist taking another crack at everyone's favorite channel.
My only major problem with the show so far: Does Alcatraz really wants us to believe that all inmates vanished in 1963? At least some of them must have had families and/or friends who would have noticed. Is this a plot hole? Having read all 85 comments so far, I seem to be the only one who's wondering about that.
Good point. It was said in the pilot that officially, the prisoners got transferred but as you mention it, their families should not have been that convinced if they were not able to keep contact. I don't consider that if a certain detail is not talked about then it's a plot hole, especially with only three episodes down. But It would have been nice to see Rebecca or Soto having some questions about it for example.
I do agree on the fact that this show has a problem in his story telling. Most people who like this show are saying that people who dislike it are impatient and capricious because we want the big reveal.
I don't want the big reveal. All I want is that the PLOT, the reason we are all in front of our TVs is really the concern of the show. I can stand procedural elements but they have to help us to understand the characters (the only good point of this week as we learned a bit about Soto) or the main plot. Right now, all we got is 40 min of pure procedural and 2 minutes of fake cliffhanger. Why fake ? Because telling us that people from alcatraz are back is not that big of a surprise.
The only elements about the main plot are the interventions of Madsen within the flashbacks and those two minutes cliffhanger. That's pretty thin !! There is a lot of stuff to talk about without telling us the big secret. Why not talk about, through flashback or not, how the secret task force was set up for example ?
And finally I would add that I indeed have the feeling that all those elements (procedural and mythology) need to be blend into each other in may more cohesive manner lke Fringe and POI knows how to do it. On that precise point, Buildam2005 is pretty thorough in his comments below so I let you check it out.
Bottom line is : I'm still gonna watch the show because it has potential but I'm not hopeful. Furthermore, the "Abram's magic pre-mix" (especially the music and violins) is irritating.moreless
Oh God. Why are you listening to this Tim Surette's opinion if he can't get a very simple thing right. The thing Capone and Machine Gun Kelly could afford was this brand of cigarette. Not the soap(groan). That very simple thing. Please do not write anything about this show again. And isn't it pretty early to judge a show that has only 3 episodes? Cause i remember Terra Nova and Falling Skies were really bad shows at the beginning but they picked up.
There's been over 80 comments when you post yours and most of people pointed out Tim's error about the soap and cigarettes. I think he knows it now...
Everybody can make mistakes : for example you just made one saying that Terra Nova eventually "picked up" -__- (joking, don"t get angry... actually not joking but don't get angry)
My point is that why listen to a writer if he can't get a simple and tiny fact straight. Where is the credibility in there? And oh, about Terra Nova, I'm not saying that Terra Nova had a great ending. I'm saying they improved because comparing to the first few episodes, that show really sucked balls.
This is hardly a legitimate comparison. Because then what about all those shows that DIDN'T improve after their first few sucky episodes? What makes you think this show won't be like one of THOSE? Just sayin'.
"I'm saying they improved because comparing to the first few episodes, that show really sucked balls."
Ok, on that I totally agree ^^
He didn't just make an error with the soap and cigarettes, he also specifically called out the "Super-Googling" when, in one of the cases, they didn't even use a computer, they asked a local.
This article feels more like haterade than a real analysis.
Agreed, though I do have a correction. The "money thing" was discovered because of the cigarette packs, those were the expensive-inmate-cannot-afford-kinda thing, not the soap.
Pretty much agree with the review
If they are truely building up towards something big I think 4 episodes is too short to judge it. So I'll give this series one whole season to prove itself.
But for my affection they will need to improve a lot. So far it's just one big borefest with writing that seems a little forced and with a lot of gaps in it.
But if the main plot line does pick up (which means they will STOP with the prisoner of the week crap) I'm interested to see what it's about.
If it does not, then I would even prefer Terra Nova over this...as with Terra Nova you atleast keep your hopes up that someone will be eaten by a cool dinosaur. ^^
Well, the smart money has to be on Parminda Nagras' character and Dancin' Doc disappearing from Alcatraz when the prisoners and guards did, but they reappeared before the rest of them (possibly by design? But if that were the case why don't the rest of them come back by design too?). I think it's also obvious that young Sam Neil and pre-disappeard Parminda Nagra had a bit of a thing going. Also, I bet Kit... erm, whatever his surname was, is alive and kicking in time for next weeks disappointingly easy prisoner chase.
Anyway, on to the episode. Boring, predictable and lazy. Well that didn't take long.
With the use of hindsight I am willing to state that:
* They should have brought back ALL of the inmates and guards at the begining. This could then allow them to produce more detailed stories for the prisoners, make them more of a challenge to capture and allow for them to have acclimatised to the changes in time, technology and Culture.
* There should have already been a team working on re-capturing them, not just Sam and Parminda, so that there was a more cohesive operation (althohugh still quite young and developing) for the cute cop and Hurley to stumble in the middle of. (A bit like Alphas perhaps.)
* Cute cop and Hurle, sorry it's Doc now isn't it, should have had a couple more episodes to become more mutually invested in the mystery and each other before they became members of the secret operation - namely by being more social and allowing us viewers to see what their private lives are like, that way we might actually care about them.
* The secret bunker-in-the-forest (a la Lost) Alcatraz-like prison needs to be bigger, more sinister and with some hint that Sam Neill is just an errend boy. So far I've only seen one room with the Dancin' Doc and a two-tier double facing row of cells, 32 cells? Where will the other 273 prisoners sleep?
I can now clearly see why former show-runner Elizabeth Sarnoff decided to walk. I still don't think that this is as big of a let-down as Terra Nova, and I do still think that the show could recover, but it just seems to me that they need to pick a direction and stick with it. Cop procedural 'case of the week' or complicated sci-fi season arc, this isn't Lost or Criminal Minds and it's current doing a poor job of trying to be both. Personally I hope it sticks to the sci-fi elements and forgets about trying to catch a bad guy every week. They can still incorporate the chasing down of bad guys (seeing as that will be what their job is), but they need to focus on the main two characters, give them lives and personalities and let them investigate the bigger picture a little bit. With only a few episodes of Fringe left we are going to need a replacement and if Alcatraz can quickly get its act together then it might serve as a resonable appitizer until a new main course comes along.moreless
Not that I'm watching this for any other reason than Doc, but do you suppose Hauser needs them ALL back in the similar arangement to solve or undo something?
So far , after 3 episodes, it just seems that every episode stands for itself without any connection to the other episodes.
It seems they can make 305 episodes just dealing with each prisoner case seperately without any referecne to the mistery itself.
I could watch CSI instead ...
So I decided to watch the episode against all self-respect, and I discovered that Alcatraz is an ironic comedy. Yet another example of what putting a big name on something can do. Money is everything, quality is nothing.
I have no issues with the prisoner of the week trend they have going but I agree, the lack of explanations at just about everything is killing me! Rebecca is kinda interesting, I love the kick-assness she delivers and her interactions with Doc are pretty good but Emerson kills the show (and not in a good way). He's not only smarmy, he sucks. I want to stick this show out but they'd better get something going!!
I think the show will improve with the serialized mythology... once that comes further into play. It's clear the head of the task force is lying about knowing what's going on -- to an extent, and that's being touched on sloooooooowwwwwllllly. I agree that the central characters are pretty boring thusfar, and hopefully that changes as well (although the female officer is just not interesting at all).
There's a lot of potential for the show, so let's hope they get on it.
1. Soto thought of cherry pie because it was in his book. He must of learned somewhere along the line that Nelson had an obsession with cherry pie.
2. Cigarettes. Only Al Capone and Machine Gun Kelly could afford those kinds of CIGARETTES. Makes a lot more sense than soap.
I like this show, I don't care what y'all say. It's not amazing by any means, at least not yet. But it has quite a bit of potential.
This show really confuses me, it's like one moment we're supposed to feel sorry for the prisoner because it's not his fault he's messed up and they're trying to like make all these excuses for him. The next moment he's shot in the head and people are like dancing on his body... Just pick one or the other Alcatraz, you can't have it both ways. Either we like the prisoner or hate him.
I especially love how all 302 prisoners are OCD serial offenders, who do everything in the same patterns every time, handily enough, they even can't help but make the same mistakes as well.
Give us some interesting mysteries, Alcatraz! There's some mildly interesting points left unexplained (like the huge disappearance) and your big reveal this week is that the doctor came back and is working for the new prison? Lazy! You already did that reveal last week, oh, sorry, that was the psychologist not the doctor... Uggh.
I am done watching this show, way too boring.moreless
First, I don't think they were ever trying to garnish sympathy for the child killer, cuz, well, he killed 4 children and is attempting to kill another. There's really nothing you can do to create sympathy for someone like that. Second, we only really met 3 inmates soooo, what?? Plus only 2 of them were "OCD serial offenders". So at the most, there can only be 301 serial offenders. Just sayin.
First of all, hats off to the guy who played the creepy child killer. THAT was some stupendously creepy acting when he was telling the warden how he killed his brother...Jesus, with the details; the popped blood vessel in his eye, the screaming with nothing coming out because he was being choked. Good writing and WELL played by the actor.
I guess if I have any advice for this show it would be this: it's not 'Lost' guys, you don't have to hold on to the secrets for 6 years. Only 3 episodes in and I'm already getting that 'more questions than answers' crap all over the bottom of my Tele-shoes. Realize that you're on Fox and they'll cancel your ASS if they think they'll get better ratings out of American Idol repeats...which they would because America is a bunch of morons. What I'm saying is DON'T try to be TOO smart on this channel or you'll end up face down in the river of broken dreams along with Greg the Bunny and Arrested Development.moreless
I'm so tired of "mysteries" being the reason people stick with a show. A mystery plot is writing 101, and fairly taboo if not tired and derivative. If the story and the characters are compelling enough, and their actions demonstrate as such, a pointless and absurd mystery need not sell the product...but then again, I'm not the millions of people who watch terrible, predictable television because they're lazy.
"but then again, I'm not the millions of people who watch terrible, predictable television because they're lazy."
yeah right, because TV exist for hardwork and effort.. sorry your majesty, we the poor mortal beings cannot really grasp your highness' level of intellectual tv watching..
that's why so many people thought Lost sucked at the end; because they didn't answer any of the "mysteries", when really it sucked because the writing was horrible.
the writing of lost was incredible and the end was great if people didn't like it it's their problem the mysteries were solved without any relation to the end
Lost is still my favorite show of all time... seasons 1-4 are brilliant... i just think they should have ended it at 4... 5 and 6 were really bad in my opinion.
Actually, I thought it sucked because it started off so great and then it was like they said, "Whoops, think I'm over my head... and that's all I'm writing!"
Whoa...a lot of negativity on this page. I guess my negativity isn't required then.
FRINGE!!
There..all better.
I watched this episode for about 2 minutes, then I paused it to go to the crapper and I never got back to it. Now, I guess I don't need to.
I Paused it to make Dinner, When I came back and Finished it I didn't pay much attention to it, missing 1/2 the story , whatever, no biggie..
Mean While I've seen this weeks Fringe episode 3 Times, Captivating !
" I fear that Alcatraz won't add these "mysterious reveals" organically, and instead use them just to have a "whoa!" moment."
Yeah, you're right. "Organically" would be to address them as soon as they're revealed to the audience even though they HAVEN'T BEEN REVEALED TO THE CHARACTERS YET.
GOD, you are an idiot.
Yes because insulting people who have different opinions than you proves your point.
Umm, no, Garth. Organically doesn't mean just addressing them immediately. It means not tacking them on at the end of the episode, but managing to blend them in with the otherwise somewhat mundane plots.
Perhaps you might want to get a grip on what the word "organically" means from a writing perspective before you go hurling insults at other people, hmm?
I never liked you Tim Surette, and I definitely wont be starting now. This show will never survive if negativity is being spread. People need to give this show a chance atleast. I think I remember 'critics' on here Saying how slow Fringe's first season was and now look at what they are saying. I for one love Fringe from the word go.
You still believe anything gets cancelled because of critics? The only reason a show will get cancelled is if it stops beeing profitable now or in the near future. Come on man were not in the 90s anymore...
No I don't believe that, I am saying if the critics lead us to believe the show is poor then the viewers are likely to take that into account therefore hindering the viewers and subsequently the profits.
Really, who cares what the critics say? If you read the story he got several facts wrong...almost like he didn't bother watching it because of his dislike. The fact that everyone wants "the big reveal" to happen immediately shows how short our attention span has become. How many people would read a book if the whole story was told in the first chapter? I watch the show because it's somewhat different and I'm willing to wait to see where it goes. If you want the show to stay on, watch it and tell your friends also.
Everyone does not want "the big reveal" to happen immediately. Everyone wants that the main core of the show, the plot is talked about. Right now we got nothing else than a mediocre procedural and the knowledge of Emerson being the young guard, Parminder being a 63's and Doc being already back (false cliffhanger to me). Those three elements being the last two minutes of an episode... that shows how the plot that we all here to see is not exploited.