Wax your creepy doll heads, sharpen your eyeball scoopers, and charge up your anal probes, because the country's favorite nightmare bedtime story is coming back for a third season. FX has renewed American Horror Story for 13 more hours' worth of dismemberment and sex.
One of the innovative things American Horror Story is doing is changing its setting and characters with each season, while retaining many of the same actors in new roles. Emmy-winner Jessica Lange has committed to return for Season 3, but there's no word on what role she'll play or where the next "incarnation" of the series will take place.
Where would you like to see Season 3 take place? Here are a few suggestions:
A circus freakshow holes up in an abandoned amusement park and preys on unsuspecting teens who like to have sex in abandoned amusement parks! Jessica Lange plays the Bearded Lady.
Set in Washington, D.C., lobbyists don't just pay Congressmen in money, they pay them in murder! Fear the cannibalistic Supreme Court, which votes on whether to use barbecue sauce or sweet chili sauce when devouring the losers of their cases! But the scariest part is the normal day-to-day bickering across the aisle, as the members of Congress prey on unsuspecting teens who like to have sex at famous national landmarks. Jessica Lange plays John G. Roberts.
Set on the set of the first season of American Horror Story, this exercise in metaness features a zombie outbreak, the rise of the robots, and a stagehand who powersands his victims to death during the filming of the new FX series. Eric Stonestreet returns to prey on unsuspecting teens who like to have sex while Dylan McDermott watches. Jessica Lange plays Ryan Murphy.
Work It, Viva Laughlin, and Mind of Mencia are the only shows on television 24/7, and Tim must review them all. Our weird mailroom guy preys on unsuspecting teens who like to have sex on piles of old Breaking Amish screeners. IndianaMom plays the site's corrupt CEO, Taccado is an AI construct that controls the office's air-conditioning system (and always keeps super cold), TrevPlatt is just a disembodied bloody foot, and bicelis is that creepy guy who uses the stall right next to you in the bathroom and tries to talk to you. Jessica Lange plays Price Peterson.
Where would YOU—yeah, YOU—like to see AHS Season 3 take place?