American Horror Story: Hotel "Room 33" Review: (Monster) Baby's Day Out

American Horror Story S05E06: "Room 33"

Welp, there goes all the good will we had toward the Countess! Last week the predatory seductress charmed her way into our hearts by helping actualize Liz Taylor. Yes, she'd murdered dozens, but who hasn't in American Horror Story: Hotel? For a moment, the Countess seemed downright decent. Then with a flick of a pointy metal finger at the end of this week's "Room 33," that all changed. She's got a big, red target on her growing bigger every week. Let's take a look at how it all went to hell.

First off, I have to say that as far as ghosts having unfinished business goes, the idea of two dead tourists caught in a nether-cycle of trying to go see Fast and Furious Supercharged is maybe the funniest thing I've enjoyed in any show in a while (looking at you, Normal Comedies). It took a chance run-in with Donovan to learn that ghosts in the hotel could find a purpose and make their lives less routine.

Kudos to AHS for making us laugh in addition to making us cry. And making us watch blood. So yeah, the two tourists from the first episode had completed their paranormal transition, I guess, and were now haunting the halls of the Hotel Cortez. In this place you either live forever as a vampire feeding on the unsuspecting or live forever as a walking shadow of existence, also preying on the unsuspecting. Always happy to learn a little more about this establishment.

For me at least, a steady source of entertainment here is mentally composing a Wikipedia entry on the Hotel Cortez as the gaps are filled in. Like, okay cool "acid baths," got it. Room 33? Oh yes, a monster baby lives in there. 

See, back in 1926, the Countess had an abortion done on a three-week-old fetus that was essentially fully formed via probably vampire reasons. Wouldn't you know it, the medical procedure went down inside Season 1's Murder House with Matt Ross reprising his role as Dr. Montgomery! Anyway, the "It" popped out and scramble-killed a nurse.

Meanwhile in present times, the Countess was continuing her seduction of Drake while Tristan found his way into the arms of Liz Taylor. It kind of came out of nowhere, this union, but who cares, it was wonderful seeing the two together mainly because they each improved the other and both seemed so happy.  


Liz felt love for the first time and Tristan felt valued as a person and not just like a piece of meat for once. The only problem was, he was the Countess's main squeeze and she was not the sharing type. Case in point, just as Tristan thanked Liz for all the book recommendations, the vampiress demanded Tristan "cum" up to her room to help pleasure Drake but spelled the word "come" wrong oh wait never mind I get it now (like the "sex word").


Then it was off to Paris to further woo Drake. Little did the Countess know that Donovan and Ramona had been plotting behind her back and were in the hotel to kill the Brita blood-filter childrens in the glass coffins in the empty pool. 


Next: What else? More murder and sex!

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Nov 17, 2015
I'm really having some trouble with this show. It seems to me that they don't have a plot, in a whole context.

Every week we get new information about new things - for instance, where did that romance between Liz and Tristan came from? Pardon me if I'm wrong, but I don't even remember seeing the two talking before -, yet we rarely are enlightened about other stuff that is pending from previous episodes - like, where are now the dozens of vampire children created in the previous episode?.
This show is somehow "all over the place", trying to do everything and even more. Maybe if they had keep it simplier, maybe if they had less caracheters, it would have been better, also they would had more time to develop other charactersthat - example, why do we have to see those tourists again? it seemed a bit waste of time for me, same for the bathroom-suicide-ghost story, same for all those killers that appeared in the murder dinner - I think they make a loooot of scenes out of place that don't actually follow the main plot, just to tell a particular story.
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Nov 15, 2015
Now that the Countess betrayed Liz, my bet is that she is going down by the season's end. She's just creating too many enemies within her little environment. If you're interested in reading more about AHS's queerness and Liz's trans narrative, then check out my blog and let's have a conversation: http://thissideofcanaan.com/2015/11/13/shes-got-bettie-davis-eyes-ahs-and-trans-narratives/
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Nov 15, 2015
I've hated the Countess since the beginning because Gaga is God-awful. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate her even more than I already did, but she proved me wrong. I hope that horrible, awful.... thing.... comes to the awful end she deserves.
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Nov 14, 2015
So are we still convinced that the Countess was the wife? Then how did she get the hotel. I think she married the owner either before she was turned or was turned by her great love when he came to the hotel. I even think she was turned when she was preggers lol
Anyway liked the episode, better Tristan than Liz am I right? His exit speech should have been less hateful... HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!
John, I still think he's the killer and his so called descent to madness will just bring it to light. John, please make Alex pay, she is a poor excuse for a mother and doctor/nurse. Oh yeah and a bad wife but you know better now....
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Nov 14, 2015
Well that was kinda fun. I think the trick for me is enjoying this show as an aesthetic whole. I mean the costumes, the architecture, the blood, it's just so damn over the top. And in the middle of the fabulousness? Kathy Bates in all her drab glory. I'm waiting for her to break out and own this show.

But it's not all chuckles, Alex is really annoying me. The whole love affair with Holden thing, being so strong she abandons Scarlett and her Hippocratic oath (not to mention humanity) to daily confront monsters and murder. Funny how I can buy almost every bit of nonsense this show throws at me but not that.
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Nov 14, 2015
poor Liz!
"The one in the dress has more balls than you...babe."
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Nov 14, 2015
I am so confused - can someone please explain to me how its possible for Tristan to be murdered if he's already "dead"?? I remember the episode in which the Countess " changed" him. Won't his wounds just heal, like everyone else's, and he will go on ...?!?! Please explain! Thanks in advance!
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Nov 14, 2015
Countess explained at the beginning they can die. They are not really undead vampires like traditional lore. They are infected with an virus that gives them amazing regenerative abilities but not resurrective ones. Hence the multiple warnings to baby infectees to be careful and smart.
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Nov 14, 2015
Thank you! I guess I need to pay more attention! I remembered someone at the Devils Night dinner (I think) getting shot and it healed instantly and they were fine ... maybe I am wrong. But thanks again for answering my question! :)
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Nov 14, 2015
Finally I can see her as Countess now! This is what I've been waiting and hoping for.

I'll admit that the introduction and turning of Tristan felt rushed and somehow pointless. He was the edger new pretty boy and dumb as a brick but I enjoyed the enthusiasm that he brought, how he was somewhat "lively" for this virus born vampire breed in comparison to the others. His interactions with March and his dive head first sort of attitude towards things I actually enjoyed that about him.

But then they really had to humanize him turning him from the brainless pretty boy to someone I had hoped would make it through to the end because it wasn't just him and Liz (although I really did love that) but him trying to be more and what more being wise enough to catch onto what Countess was doing in such a short amount of time of being with her. I am hoping that he's not really dead but I wonder if Countess ever keeps in mind the enemies that she's incurred through her actions unless she thinks they love her too much to harm her.

The Ramona and Donovan plot seems kinda dumb but it's all about showing their addiction/obsession. It's as Tristan pointed out about what Countess does to people, she collects them to throw them away to feed off their heartache. No one can be over her no one is allowed to move on from her, no one is allowed to be indifferent towards her.

I felt a bit sorry for Lowe, being driven to madness like that, rude. I wondered if Sally would feel a bit territorial with the other ghostly girls messing with him.

This episode I loved. I don't know who I disliked more Countess or Alex.
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Nov 13, 2015
I'm just glad the Countess didn't off Liz. The death flags were everywhere the moment she said "the Countess will understand." I never really cared for Tristan, and the love fest seemed weirdly out of nowhere, so I applauded when the Countess flicked her wrist and offed him.
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Nov 13, 2015
This show, this season REALLY takes it's inspiration from real life, like L&O or something. After the soaking/rotting corpse in the tub scene, I had to think of another INFAMOUS hotel in Cali. that is said to also be haunted. Everyone who watches the news, or youtube's knows what I'm talking about. Maybe too soon, IDK, but still a creepy ass HELL episode that has me coming back for more;-) PS the Countess MUST DIE!!! w/ Monster baby, and Alex in tow!
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Nov 13, 2015
but the hotel has bad phone reception, right? how did tristan was able to receive the message? I don't like tristan, prefer donovan, and wasn't John pushed away from the police department?
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Nov 13, 2015
The bad phone reception in the hotel is the ghosts. Ghosts are famous for that. The soundproofed rooms would have legitimate trouble, but not the whole building. There would be decent spots and dead zones (ahem). The Countess would KNOW where the phones will work and when they won't, and she would surely have excellent reception in HER rooms. She probly checked her bars & went to the window. She knew where Tristan was, if not what he was doing, because she typed Cum UP.
And John is losing his shit, simply. He was told to get off the crime scene by his former partner, who tried to be kind about it instead of arresting him for trespassing a crime scene.
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Nov 13, 2015
OH no she didn't....Poor Liz, i felt so hard for her that moment...Bad Bad Countess!! Well that was Tristan...sad to see such a yammie go...:(:(
Ok, that baby..first very very cool that the Countess went to the Murder House to deliver that monster thing of hers...Then that thing got away...it was a very smart move to go in to that suitcase...
Talking about suitcase, they really did a number on John didn't they...fuck....poor guy completely losing it...then that thing got in his house and attacked him there too..
Alex was this episode very cold and cool...very calmly she handled things like it was the most normal thing to do in a day...well go haunt some demon baby oh and in meantime let me move some coffins...weird...
Love to see Angela Basset everytime, but don't really like her role this season. She is really trying to act bad and angry, but somehow no...it doesn't do it for me this season. Loved her in Season 3 do...she was a badass then...
What a episode...loved it!!!
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Nov 13, 2015
So this season of AHS is a just a big promo for Lady Gaga and her little Monsters? It's like a Mash-up of her song's.
Be who you wanna be, no matter what your are beautiful, free love speech what so ever...
I'm wondering tho, does that mean that Gaga is a possesiv villain in real life and if her fans decide to "leave" her she will go crazy serial killer on them?
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Nov 13, 2015
HA, nah, not until the ILLUMINATI is done w/ her in a couple of decades;-) Madonna's up 1st EH?
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Nov 13, 2015
This season is so boring, and this episode was all kinds of terrible. I'm officially done with this show, it's been too bad for too long and I'm bored.
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Nov 13, 2015
This show has da MOJO JOJO! Be seeyanya, & don't forget2write if ya find somethin BETTER;-)
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Nov 13, 2015
Well, Lowe finally left the hotel. I guess he isn't really dead after all then.
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Nov 13, 2015
What did you feel when the Countess killed Tristan?

I was like Well I knew she was going to kill one or Both, happy L.T. is Alive! But i feel like L.T. will be on board to kill the Countess now.

... Are you enjoying John Lowe's descent into madness?
I bet he is the serial killer and has a Split personality thats why Mr. March is fascinated with him.

... What did you think of "Room 33"?
it was good, but I suspected that it was a child in room 33. The back story to season 1 was good, but I feel that something is missing from that time line. Like what if he used her blood to have his baby come back to life.
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Nov 12, 2015

For those of u criticising Gaga's acting, just remember that her character is a 100+ year old vampire who's life revolves around vanity and materialistic things. She's supposed to seem emotionally detached and cold because deep down she's bored with it all and not happy. Haven't u ever met one of those rich old botoxed ladies who seem to have no depth?

the only times we have seen any real emotion in her is in this episode when she found out her baby got out nearly died. Obviously this child is the key to her human side - there must be some hardcore attachment she has to it. I'm just confused about the flashback- she came to the murder house for an abortion but instead gave birth to a creature that attacked the nurse and the doctor didn't seem to think anything was weird?
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Nov 13, 2015
I think he used the Blood from the countess to have his Child reborn.... He was always insane by Huffing the Drug.
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Nov 13, 2015
Maybe yeah
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Nov 12, 2015
This episode was so intense.

The countess- I knew she was going to kill Tristan, but it didn't hurt any less. She's a selfish horrible piece of garbage and I really hope that she gets what's coming!

Alex- I can't decide if I hate her more or less than The countess. But I really hate her too. She basically has given up on her daughter and now is trying to get John committed sooooo her daughter is left parent less just so she can be with Holden? She's a terrible terrible selfish person. I would have never guessed this is where her character was going but she went from being pretty irrelevant to my least favourite person.

John- is driving me mad as he goes mad. This guy has spent majority of this season sleeping, and passing out. If he isn't the Ten Commandments killer than I hope he WAKES up and finally does something. Anything. Other than passing out and being completely useless. He continues to make the stupidest decisions and I wonder how he makes it through a day with the lack of sense he has.

Liz- my dear Liz . I love her. And although the Liz and Tristan story line was out of nowhere I totally felt it. I love that a show like AHS can just literally throw a couple together with no back story or build up and have it completely work yet other shows try to build relationships for an entire season and it is still unbelievable. They totally gave me the feeeels. I hearted them. Even if it was strange and so on. I was happy for them. And that's when I knew bad things were comin', for you are not suppose to feel happy in AHS. I felt so bad for Liz. I finally was liking Tristan's character. I love how he figured her out and blasted her for being a selfish horrible person, although it got him killed. I hope he isn't gone, I hope he comes back as a ghost because I don't want that to be the last of Tristan. I also hope that Liz now bands together with Romana and Donovan and takes down The Countess. Let's bring that B down.

Evan peters where you be at!?

Also yes Romana and Donovan's plan was ridiculous and not well thought through but I was glad to see Donovan again (he is just so good to watch) yummy. Lol
Can't wait for NEXT week.
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Nov 12, 2015
This episode was about everyone finding a purpose and they did....against The Countess. Her one remaining ally is Alex. Everyone else is against her.

Liz: "I know it doesn't end well, and it shouldn't. But now, for the first time, I'd put money on it not ending well for The Countess."
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Nov 12, 2015
John's wife is the worst. So sorry for their daughter who had the worst parents.

I don't appreciate any of the countess' "layers"and hope she gets very killed at the end.
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Nov 13, 2015
Or bricked up behind a soundproof wall, alive forever, like Delphine in Coven. :) I know they need blood to stay healthy & functioning, but they still could live a very long time maybe, since there are no hard & fast rules in this show. Delphine Lalurie was a real person after all and they did it to her. :)

Agree Alex is crazy herself. She does not behave in a sane way at all.

John Lowe has been getting Literally head fucked by someone, supernaturally and/ or being drugged by Alex. I think he's legit schizophrenic and his meds are wonking out on him, that is plausible. I think he's the TCK too, but also think wouldn't that be too easy?

And where is the small community now filled with 10 year old vampires? Ain't nobody got time for that... but nobody AT ALL heard about it?
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Nov 13, 2015
Also, Mr. March was shown in his flashback bricking up his victims behind a wall while his blonde wife, (perhaps the Countess), encourages him not to gag the victim because she enjoyed the screams. If it turns out to be that The Countess really was his wife, wouldn't it be such satisfying poetic justice if March somehow learns that she was the one who turned him in to the police and bricks her up behind a wall, gagged, for all eternity?
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Nov 13, 2015
And it's in the opening credits, too. Might be a sweet fate for such a ghastly lady, and AHS never minds repeating themes either, so who knows? I personally Love Lady Gaga (and her acting) and hope she lives to the last episode, either way.
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Nov 12, 2015
Only the last 5mins of the episode stayed with. O'Hare and Wittrock really rocked! Too bad Finn's appearances just ended!

As for the rest... nothing impressive, nothing out of the ordinary. Too many butts, too much blood spilt and of course Gaga continued her flat, emotionless and uninteresting "acting." She's a good performer (not of my taste) but lets face it, acting is not one of her talents.

I loved AHS since season 01!!! I think I'm watching season 05 more out of habit than interest!
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Nov 14, 2015
Too many butts? There can never be too many butts in AHS.
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Nov 14, 2015
loll... agreed!
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Nov 12, 2015
Finn may be back , no one ever really dies in that hotel. Maybe he will be a ghost who will wander the halls like the rest of them
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Nov 13, 2015
I hope so!
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Nov 12, 2015
Well, a baby vampire that never grows, that is.. scary.

Didn't realize a vampire in this show can actually conceived and gave birth.

The cruelty in this show, is riveting. You can't help but watch it.

John is having a bad day, doesn't know his wife is a vamp. Pretty scary.

But then comes the threesome, an unknowing gift from his vampy wife no less, those 2 girls have found a purpose, make people crazy!!

But then again, this hotel is meant to create victims, so, hey, let's not be surprised by all of this..

Baby in the luggage, clever. He must be light.. :)

Bottom line, John is cursed!

The timing is just so... perfect and wrong..

The Countess wasn't so forgiving after all. Liz got her man, to be buried, Tristan bit the dust.

I wonder how badly this will all end for the Countess, assuming Season 5 has a real ending.. Seeing how all of these seasons are tied together, and seeing how wickedly awesome Lady Gaga is in the role, I think she might be back in future seasons.

I feel like this show is about breaking John first and the rest is just drama going along the way, perhaps the second story is of the Countess regaining her wealth.
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Nov 14, 2015
For the vampire baby, well we have to keep in mind that they aren't really vampires but people infected with a "virus" that gives them vampire-like traits as they are alive and never really died/living dead or whatever vampires are. So sterility/barrenness may not be a possible side-effect of the virus.

I have to say I've seen a lot of pregnant vampire BS excuses but this one is one of the very few that could remotely explain it.
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Nov 12, 2015
1. I was shocked initially (but then was reminded that I spent much of the season wondering why Finn Wittrock wasn't a full cast member since he clearly made his way into the AHS repertoire, but then he does still appear in movies in a on his way up sort of fashion and probably Ryan Murphy will let him do that and float in whenever he wants, especially if Evan Peters continues to be so fun as a bad guy and they need their go to attractive almost good guy role each year). Then I started wondering that, is he really gone? I mean, it sort of sounded like the Countess was indicating Liz remove him so his ghost wouldn't pop up.

2. Yes, because how dumb is it not to have an escape plan? It would have seemed more reasonable to have Iris, who the children trust, convince them to go out for ice cream while the Countess was away. They'd only have to get around Liz at that point (though if my grudge match theory is correct, March might have stopped them).

3. Not really and I can't figure out why. I suppose its because I want him to embrace it calmly and he might actually figure stuff out.

4. It was okay, I liked it a lot even if the first bit was like a series of vignettes (and I couldn't tell when the Countess was telling Bartholomew that she was going to Paris was current time or back in 1926) and I suppose disappointed it put a dent in my Alex is actually the Countess' granddaughter theory. And then it was sort of crazy. I suspect we were introduced to the person who likely leads to a happy ending in Donovan, if he can get past his own obsession with the Countess.
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Nov 12, 2015
Finn better come back as a ghost, because I haven't had enough of Tristan yet... and was I the only one going "Liz don't touch his blood!" Afraid Liz will turn vampire. Or kill herself and become a ghost. But if Tristan turns to a ghost then they can at least be together. :(
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Nov 12, 2015
Someone had to die tragically eventually. Triston's death will be enough to remove any loyalty Liz has for the Countess.
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Nov 13, 2015
Definitely. I don't know what we are about to see from Liz, but I imagine and expect it will be visceral in more ways than one.
I really need to add Dennis O Hare is knocking me out as this woman. I was fascinated from the first sight, now I'm falling in love with her too. :)
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Nov 12, 2015
I don't know, we are half way through I think, they tend to knock of people. Now, as they have been playing up that the Hotel Cortez basically seems like a bigger variation of the Murder House, Tristan is likely stuck. But that also means he enters March's domain, but they seemed to have a friendly enough dynamic. It would make sense to give March someone else to interact with other than Miss Evers or taunting John to involve him more in the goings on.
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Nov 13, 2015
I agree I would enjoy a dynamic with Mr March... he doesn't seem to require smarts in his comrades, only bloodthirst. And while I think Tristan would have a wild bloodthirst for the Countess if he remains as a ghost, I think he may also have been transformed by his relationship with Liz (like allthatglitter mentions below) that he's not quite like those other killers any more. And therefore not one of Mr. March's stark raving murderer collection... anymore.
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Nov 12, 2015
I don't think Tristan will come back as he found his purpose - which was Liz, well, being loved for who he really is, but then again this AHS
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Nov 13, 2015
I like your thinking. I love your thinking actually. And your thinking is also AHS... there have been heavenly /happily ever afters for characters as well as hellish ones in the show. :) I want to see Liz happy again and I also love looking at Finn as Tristan.. a lot... so I just want some more of it, haha.
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Nov 12, 2015
It just keeps getting better and better. I never expected to go back to where it all started so soon in the season, but seeing Charles Montgomery made me jump up and down with excitement! Absolutely loved the connection to the first season.

And that vamp baby was literally where nightmares come from. This is why this series is so amazeballs...they literally change things up every episode. Hell, they even brought back the Swedish Meatballs into the story!

If anyone is interested, check out my own photo recap/review here, w/ loads of images and gifs: http://mikeydislikesit.com/american-horror-story-hotel-room-33-review/


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Nov 12, 2015
Those poor, hot, nympho, Swede's.....DAMN YOU VIN DIESEL, YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO ANSWER FOR!!!
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Nov 17, 2015
The best part of that, is these two characters who truly seem to have zero relevance or reason for being in this show... except they're hot.. :) are Literally Told they have to find their PURPOSE... haha... by another character ON the SHOW. ... Then they do some rad head-messing and now get to declare: WE HAVE A PURPOSE! x)
That is some genius show writing, right there. I LoLed for real.
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Nov 12, 2015
I was so excited at the opening scene when Lady Gaga came to Murder House! Dr. Montgomery, same basement, same rooms, same cupboards, I was jumping seeing that scene! They should do more of this stuff connecting various seasons for us hc fans :D
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Nov 12, 2015
I reacted the exact same way. I wasn't expecting to see the Murder House so early, but it was everything I didn't know I needed in my life.
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Nov 12, 2015
That was briliant! The characters this season are to die for!
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Nov 12, 2015
And the text recap is up, as soon as it clears the cache.
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Nov 12, 2015
Text recap is taking a looooooooooong time to clear the cache...
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Nov 12, 2015
Yep, it is taking a long time. I checked, and it's there.

http://www.tv.com/usersubmission/episode_synopsis.html?show_id=81011&episode_id=3254857/

Folks can read it in its "raw" form there if they want. Otherwise, it's whenever the publication cache plays catch-up.
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Nov 12, 2015
Ok thank you, Gislef!
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Nov 12, 2015
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Nov 12, 2015
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Nov 12, 2015
This season is definitely my flavor of horror. Characters of delicious demeanor and atmosphere of disconcerting delirium. A+.
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Nov 12, 2015
That was disturbing.

Did it sort of seem like a series of vignettes ? Like in a short play called when John hit rock bottom.
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Nov 12, 2015
It's probably pretty obvious to everyone now, but Liz Taylor looks like Dean Pelton.
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