American Horror Story: Hotel: "She Wants Revenge" Review: Enemies Without, Enemies Within

American Horror Story: Hotel S05E09: "She Wants Revenge"


Well it was a regular soap opera this week on American Horror Story: Hotel, complete with betrayals, broken hearts, dramatic revelations, and thwarted revenge plots, all taking place on The Countess's wedding day no less! The ninth episode in, "She Wants Revenge" was all moving parts and monologues. I mean, there's usually two worlds to every AHS season—the horrifically violent one like last week's blood-soaked serial killer reveal, and the more human world, full of sympathetic motivations and tongue-in-cheek one-liners, with just a smidge of horrific violence. 

So within this hour we got monologues from dueling vampire queens The Countess and Ramona Royale. The former talked about bitterness, loneliness, and pretty much hating everything about the life she had built for herself the past hundred years, save for her monster baby. Her plan? Marry and kill Will Drake then turn the Cortez into her official fortress against the modern day outside world. Seems feasible and healthy!


I laughed out loud (yes I still type out the phrase because I am a gentleman) when Liz objected to the matrimony with such casual shade. I love how blasé Taylor's being, but I hope she doesn't have a death wish. 

This may come as a surprise, but I honestly can't speak for what circumstances determine an immortal's best life. I mean just living forever isn't enough to make a person happy, apparently. It even seems to deaden all emotions, if The Countess was any example. Or at least freeze them in time. Did you see the way she lit up when she tracked down Valentino back at the no-nonsense motel? All her life she's been chasing this one fella, and it was a crush she once idolized as a naive, fame-hungry human.   

The Countess basically wanted to kill Natacha and live in a fortress of solitude with her first true love and I can already tell her that's not going to make her happy. See, one time after college I got an eighth of weed and an eighth of mushrooms and stayed inside for a weekend by myself to play video games and eat pizza. I'll tell you what, as soon as I "got" the thing I thought I wanted ("mindless sloth"), I got super bored before the mushrooms kicked in and then had to wander around staring at some melting old people in the park for what seemed like an eternity and, well, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Plus the video game I rented sucked ("50 Cent: Bulletproof").


The plot that had me crying for real though was Ramona Royale's explanation of her whereabouts for the past 20 years. Continuing her scheme with Donovan, she explained that after having her true love murdered by The Countess, she went back home to live with her parents. HELLYES. I already loved Ramona Royale, but that kind of vulnerable gesture—by an immortal no less—spoke volumes of her character. 

But the more she cared for them, the more her parents' mortality drifted away. What greater pain is there than watching the ones you love deteriorate before your eyes? Perhaps the pain Ramona felt watching her perpetually deteriorating father never expire after feeding him emergency vampire blood. Who among us wouldn't—in desperation—do what it took to keep our loved ones around that much longer? For twenty years of hospice? Then have to be the person to end it all, out of mercy? I mean, damn.

Thankfully, Ramona eventually got her mind right and was understandably aghast at how her movies were streaming on "goddamn Hulu" without one red cent coming her way. FOR FREE.

Next: Kid vamps and one cool-ass baby

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Dec 17, 2015
Ok I am not a big fan of AHS, before now I'd only seen the first season and asylum and decided the show was too brutal/gross/disturbing. However, I have had a thing for hotel stories since reading The Shining. I saw the trailers for this season and decided to watch at least one episode. I hate vampire shows just on GP so I didn't expect to keep watching BUT I was compelled by a decent story.

I am surprised by how much I enjoy aspects of this show. Of course I love seeing Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates most of all. This week I am ready for the countess to go. I don't like the Gaga. At all. As an actress or a character. I am however intrigued by her "son". So if this is her son with March, why does he not claim it? I am btw adoring his creepy assed character.

My fave epi thus far is a tie between the serial killer one and this one. I really enjoyed seeing Ramona's journey...it's a spin to the whole live forever thing that was pretty different. I also liked seeing Iris kill like that.

My question is how is the countess going to handle Drake's son? Is she turning him into one of her special children or will she keep him alive? I also really want to know what she's going to do when she finds out what's her face caused a tween mini vamp outbreak.
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Dec 13, 2015
What about Ms Evers' doing exactly what she promised Drake after he ignored her warnings?
There are a lot of things in this season I hate, the lack of showing in certain aspects such as showing when Luke (was it Luke? What is the son's name?) interactions with Ms Evers to know who she is, where in the hell is that kid most of the time? And exactly what did Countess do to help Drake other than Paris and the sex where he couldn't hold an erection with her?

Wonder what Countess plans to do with the pre-nup in place. I guess that's where the son comes in.

In terms with the Countess I realized that we're dealing with Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remember that line from Little Nell as Columbia?

"First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion."

Anyhow I do wonder who will be the true virus queen, Natacha, will Ramona break free, or will Countess remain a queen?
I'm sort of hoping somehow she gets locked into that hall with the corpse of her beloved Valentino and March visiting her often while Natty and Ramona watch.
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Dec 17, 2015
I reckon the pre-nup is only for affairs or divorce so she'll probably be fine. Although not sure how she'll convince lawyers he is dead with no body.
The things I've found most irritating this season are Holden and Drake's son's haircuts (or lack thereof) seriously Drake is supposed to be fashion guru!
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Dec 11, 2015
Did anybody catch what porn actress said before getting stabbed? It sounded like "Please, I don't want to die in horror movie" which makes no sense.
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Dec 12, 2015
I think she said porn movie, not horror .
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Dec 11, 2015
I hope Lady GaGa doesn't return next year - how the hell has SHE been nominated for a GG? she is absolutely terrible
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Dec 12, 2015
from what Ryan Murphy said - she will be moving to Scream Queens next year - so yall better hope that show gets picked up for another year!
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Dec 12, 2015
Then let's hope it is not then
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Dec 11, 2015
I'm not sure how much this episode actually advanced the plot, but damn it was stylish and worth watching because Angela Bassett. I don't hate Gaga as an actress but her limitations are exposed when we get more than a glimpse of some truly stellar performers.
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Dec 11, 2015
Another excellent ep from a surprisingly great season of AHS. Hotel has easily been my favorites since Asylum. Gaga is great - bite me haters. Now that her character has met up with her past love - I expect we'll see the action kick into high gear. Also Lowe still has no idea his wife and kid are living in the same hotel as him! Bwhahah. Didn't they have a daughter too at some point? Ah who cares.. heheh.. loving this season and James Patrick March is the best new character ever - Evan Peters better win a well deserved emmy for it. Can't wait for the next one! 9.5/10.
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Dec 17, 2015
Yay! Finally found someone who loves Gaga and Evans in this, as much as I do!
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Dec 11, 2015
Daughter ("Scarlett"?) went to grandma's house, I think. I love Evan Peters, but Emmy-caliber in this role?

I am loving this season immensely, certainly more than Freak Show.
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Dec 10, 2015
So many good elements in the show. Some great actors (Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Lily Rabe, Denis O'Hare), catchy and stylish look, some good old fashioned horror... But it is missing a lot, the story is incredibly boring and it seems they new actors are nothing more than goodlooking. I miss the first two seasons, in particular the second one.
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Dec 10, 2015
2 cages - so who is supposed to be in the other one?

I'm guessing either Donovan or Natacha was SUPPOSED to go in it - but I think the Countess may end up in there
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Dec 11, 2015
We can only hope!
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Dec 10, 2015
I think this is a tighter season the the others. Everyone was so sure the rampaging vampire school children plot was going to be dropped but nope! Not the best episode of the season but I did like Luz objecting to the Wedding abd Miss Evers warning Will Drake not to Marry the Countess. Plus the Iris stuff was fun.
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Dec 10, 2015
Gosh... if "she wants revenge," she can start acting and take her revenge on her enemies and not the poor viewers!

With Bates', Bassett's and Evans' scenes being the only exception, the rest of the episode was rather indifferent. Too much Gaga is never good for the show - that's my humble, subjective opinion!
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Dec 11, 2015
I've taken to imitating Gaga's awful delivery as I watch. It's the only way I've been able to tolerate it.
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Dec 10, 2015
Dang... Bassett is practically ageless!!! I so love her!
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Dec 11, 2015
Her backstory this week was great too!
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Dec 10, 2015
Fun review and another great episode, this season is killing it (so is The Countess)
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Dec 10, 2015
Best show ever, best season ever and all actors bring in their A game. Except maybe for Chloe Sevigny.. she's the weak one, but she's not a major player, so, she's tolerable.

Lady Gaga, just freakin' amazing, by far, I wish her for future seasons, regardless of the role she would get.

Love her, she's pure talent.
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Dec 10, 2015
Honestly, I wished there were a little more instrumental portions of "She Wants Revenge" playing in the background since that still is the best introduction of characters on this show. I heard it a couple of times.
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Dec 10, 2015
"The Countess basically wanted to kill Natasha"

It's Natacha, not Natasha.

I wouldn't normally point out spelling, but Natacha Ramboa was a real-life person.
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Staff
Dec 10, 2015
oops, gotcha. Been sick!
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Dec 10, 2015
It's also real annoying when typing up the recap. Takes a little extra time to make that mental adjustment "C instead of S."
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Dec 10, 2015
Nice Killer Klowns from Outer Space reference Ryan.
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Dec 10, 2015
NOW I know why Fargo and other shows of its ilk are popular with you people. Poor Kathy Bates, appearing in this piece of tripe.

So. You people like violence for the sake of violence.

What a world.
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Dec 17, 2015
I don't get it. Why would someone who dislikes the show so much, bother reading the reviews 9 episodes in AND comment? (Yes I realise that I am assuming that you read the review, but that's only because it makes even less sense if you didn't, and literally only came here to tell people off for liking the the show)
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Dec 10, 2015
Apples and Bananas dude. You are allowed to like them both.
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Staff
Dec 10, 2015
Welcome.
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Dec 10, 2015
Don't lump Fargo with AHS. Fargo is a majestic butterfly in the anthology market, AHS is a moth in the closet. It is still fun at times though.
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Dec 10, 2015
The text recap is up, as soon as it clears the cache.
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Dec 11, 2015
thnx Gislef!
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Dec 10, 2015
That naked blonde girl looked like Busy Philipps.
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