American Idol Does Some Soul Searching

Things started off weird on American Idol last night. Ryan walked through a line-up of solemn contestants who looked as though they had just learned that next week's mentor would be Joe Biden. Then Ryan encouraged the judges to make out, and it was difficult to tell whether Ellen or Simon was more repulsed at that prospect. Looking on at the spectacle, Siobhan Magnus appeared as if she was ready to unleash one of her trademark screams. Or, as some of you prefer, "pitch-perfect high notes."

Then Usher laid down the law: "I will be brutally honest with you and hurt your feelings a little bit." Oh, please do. We learned that Usher's new album is called "Raymond vs. Raymond" and the prospect of a Ray Romano concept album seemed deliciously innovative. That is, until Usher explained, "Raymond vs. Raymond is my dichotomy, one side and the other side of me." Check the transcripts: I believe that is the first time the word "dichotomy" has ever been uttered on American Idol.

While all you kids out there no doubt think Usher is so 2008, as a man of a certain age and complexion, he's the coolest thing to hit the Idol mentoring world since Quentin Tarantino. I have to agree with my dentist friend Marty's take, which is that soul and R&B; singers represent the very peak of human evolution. This means that as a species, we have been going downhill ever since the death of Otis Redding.

Nothing that happened last night seemed to disrupt the basic order of things. A shaky Siobhan, as well as Crystal Bowersox, Casey James, and Michael Lynche, remain poised for their Final Four run. So rather than ranking everyone, let's look at things through the shaded eyes of Usher and see whether the contestants lived up to his advice.

"If you don't believe it, they won't believe it."

Didi Benami: We never did learn exactly why "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted" made Didi so verklempt. Alas, her stubborn resistance to Ryan's questioning proved more successful than her warbling singing, which came across as oddly listless. Not a good week for idiosyncratic Didi, who is definitely vulnerable.

Tim Urban: I never thought I would say this, but I think the judges were rather harsh on him. What he did with Anita Baker's "Sweet Love" was definitely of (lower-case) high school musical quality but was awkwardly sincere, if shallow, in its emotion. As Simon suggested, nothing is likely to stop Tim at this stage. He has created a voting demographic hitherto unseen in American politics: A veritable T Party Movement of high school girls, gays, and homeschooled Christians.

Siobhan Magnus: She admitted to being "wicked nervous" when she first met Usher and never regained her footing. She didn't connect with "Through The Fire" as fully as she needed to, and seemed to want to get off stage halfway through the song. No real worries, however, despite an outfit that made her look like a cocktail waitress at Cleopatra's Barge lounge at Caesars Palace. With boots from the Manny Pacquiao Collection.

"I want to make sure you have a little pizazz."

Katie Stevens: She didn't help her cause by appearing with a blasting horn section and a trio of backup singers who appeared to be holding back just to make sure they didn't blow her offstage. And when it comes to pizazz, Katie didn't have enough to hold her own with all of those grown-ups.

Aaron Kelly: He managed the impossible, which is to say that he made himself look even younger. "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone?" Who is he singing about, his nanny?

"Chicks dig a guy who can actually play a guitar and sing. It's a cool thing."

Lee DeWyze: He definitely seemed to take that advice to heart and came out so confidently (for a change) that you knew seconds into the song he had it all working.

Andrew Garcia: Can a guy who hasn't yet had a career launch a comeback? Definitely his best performance since "Straight Up." Andrew's problem is that he works a subtle groove that blends a number of elements: Latin, acoustic rock, and soul. Even when he's a little off, it means he doesn't connect at all, which leaves him vulnerable unless he's at the top of his game. Last night he was on.

Casey James: He certainly adores his guitar and can sing and yes, the chicks dig him too. Good vocals on "Hold On, I'm Comin'" but he seemed a bit stiff on stage.

Michael Lynche: The Magic Mountain should not be underestimated. R&B; week was tailor-made for him, and yet he took things in a different direction. A nice guy, and ambitious, too.

Crystal Bowersox: A technical demerit for singing "L.A. proved to be too much for the man" in both her session with Usher and in the competition. Do not mess with "Midnight Train To Georgia," honey. She survived the piano and the stilettos and showed the value of hitting big notes in the context of a song rather than as a Cirque du Soleil stunt. Now pick up that six-string again, because lots of us guys dig chicks who can play guitar and sing. It's a cool thing.