American Idol: Unhappy Birthday Songs

Our 12 remaining American Idol contestants had a rough go of it last night, when they were tasked with performing a song from the year they were born. It's a format that inevitably results in a lot of warmed-over, dated schlock, and that's precisely what we got.

The Worst

There were so many to choose from!

Casey Abrams

Casey took a risk. And if this is a risk, he should stop taking them. The charm spell finally wore off when Casey artlessly screamed his way through Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Everything about the performance, meanwhile, screamed "frat-house entertainment." Kurt Cobain just has no place on that stage. Sorry, Case. Bad, bad, bad.

Karen Rodriguez

MySpace's Karen Rodriguez, you seem like a really sweet and genuine person. But you need an Idol intervention. Your look this week was horrendous, and your wobbly, snore-inducing take on Taylor Dayne's "Love Will Lead You Back" verged on the unwatchable.

Paul McDonald

Enough is enough. I don't care about the cold. Singing Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues," the guy sounded the same as he always does—like he's been chain-smoking Marlboro Reds and gargling paint thinner. The problem is his inability to stop moving around the stage like Chris Martin after being tazed a half-dozen times. Just stand there and deliver a song like a professional. Is that really so hard?

The Best

James Durbin

James has grown cocky and quick, but so far it suits the persona he's selling: a kind of Axl Rose you can bring home to mom. He's hit the Idol sweet spot—both belonging on that stage, and somehow rising above the proceedings—and his version of "having fun" on stage is actually fun to watch. Was it the best version of "I'll Be There For You" you're ever going to hear? Maybe not, but it was definitely the best performance of the night.

Scotty McCreery

Something—it must have been that photo of him as a child Elvis impersonator—got me to open my ears to Scotty this week, and found it hard to fault a note of his version of Travis Tritt's "Can I Trust You With My Heart." (Though every time he got to the chorus, I was hoping he'd say, "Can I trust you with my car?") This guy's a country star, which means I will never have him on my iPod. But whatever, he's good at what he does.

My predictions for bottom three:
Karen, Haley and Paul

Going home:
Karen

What'd you think of last night's performances?