What to watch on Tuesday, May 31.
Is it Friday yet? Haha no, it's only Tuesday. But have you ever noticed that four-day weeks are way longer than regular weeks? What is that about? Hopefully scientists will figure it out someday, but until then let's just watch a ton of junk:
SEASON 6 PREMIERE, 8pm, NBC
America's Got Talent
I agree with this title! While not every American is as "talented" as Prince Poppycock or as lovely as Susan Boyle, I think we can trust Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel to find the diamonds in the rough. Why not tune in for tonight's opening audition rounds? It wouldn't KILL you. (I'm not positive about that, though, so just be aware).
There are still new episodes of this thing if you want 'em. Tonight Mike and Lisa deal with their babysitter's social drama/teen angst, plus Callie's naked dancing in the apartment creates an awkward situation for the food delivery guy.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Bravo
Million Dollar Decorators
The time is definitely right for a reality show in which people spend obscene amounts of money on couch pillows. In tonight's series premiere of this new Bravo show (about which the Bravo announcer dude will shout at us during commercial breaks), we'll meet five of L.A.'s priciest interior designers as they attempt to redo fabulous Beverly Hills shanties.
SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 10pm, TLC
The Little Couple
Phew, I was starting to get WORRIED about TLC. They've had barely any shows about little people during the past few months. Luckily The Little Couple returns tonight, and we'll finally get to learn more about Bill and Jen's fertility treatments. Yay?
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Discovery
Deception with Keith Barry
Real-life mentalist Keith Barry takes us on a trip (TRIP, get it? Me neither.) into the world of black-ops experiments involving mass hypnosis and sleeper agents. If you ask me, watching this show is just begging for trouble. If you wake up at the end of it and you've assassinated the Prime Minister, then that's Keith Barry's problem, not mine.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
20/20, 8 p.m., ABC
Braxton Family Values, 9 p.m., WE
Deadliest Catch, 9 p.m., Discovery Channel
Lee and Grant, 9 p.m., History
16 & Pregnant, 9 p.m., MTV
I (Almost) Got Away With It, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Love Handles: Couples in Crisis, SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Lifetime
The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC
Tosh.0, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Sports Show with Norm Macdonald, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
CeCe Peniston on The Mo'Nique Show, 11 p.m., BET
Flavor Flav on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Jimmy Fallon on Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
Ray Romano on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What are you watching tonight?