Being Human: A Whole Lotta Side-Butt

Well, obviously we're first going to talk about how every single cast member got naked in last night's episode of Being Human, "Addicted to Love." You need proof? Okay, here's visual proof of the parade of side-butts. If you're under 18, ask your mom if you can look at these pictures first!

Butt alert #1:
Aidan and Suren show some cheek in what appears to be a college dorm room or a fancy Detroit hotel!

Butt alert #2:
Poor Josh was the only one who got naked by himself. That floor must be sooooo cold.

Butt alert #3:
Long-distance buttage of Nora, Connor, and Brynn. Or is that a photo of the day after a Phish set at Bonnaroo?

Butt alert #4:
Sally gets the Red-Shoe Diaries classy up-pan!

There's always been an underlying tone of sex and doing it on Being Human, as is the case with all vampire fiction. But this show has never been as graphic and near-nude as it was last night. Was I watching Syfynemax? Far be it for me to complain about Meaghan Rath showing a little skin, but boy oh boy it sure did distract me from my job of paying attention. Here I am wondering if Nora really did wolf out on her ex, and then BAM! Look at Sam Huntington's pale ass! Needless to say, there was much rewinding in an effort to get the mental train back on the tracks.

Maybe it was an extra hot day in Montreal. Maybe it was a sign of team unity, you know, like when hockey players all grow beards during the playoffs. Maybe when you work with a totally hot cast you just break down and get naked. But it wasn't just the main cast. This guy got to do some graphic dry-humping... TWICE!

Anyway, let's all try to remember what happened when clothes weren't littering the floor. Things were moving pretty darned fast all episode long, and the hurried pace forced some character decisions to happen a little too speedy for my taste. Sally never really thought out the whole body-possession thing, and is going down the path of the metaphorical addiction storyline I had hoped she wouldn't. I liked seeing her get stuck in Janet's body after humping her boyfriend, but I'm not sure it was the best idea to go back to the hospital to seek help since that's where the boyfriend works. That's just poor planning, Sally! Of COURSE you were going to run into him, this is a TV show!

Eventually Sally got knocked out of Janet's body by the reaper, but a little part of her stayed, giving Janet visions of Sally's murder and generally freaking out her puny little mind. And when normal humans get weirded out, they draw charcoal-sketch scary ghosts that look like the one that's hunting Sally. I don't want to nitpick here, but I'm more concerned about what happens when Janet is possessed. Does she remember anything? Or is it just blank space? I have a feeling that Being Human will just ignore the issue and never address it, because if they were going to do it, yesterday would have been the time. Don't sci-fi writers know that we geeks need to comb through every little detail?

Josh is still working with the purebred were-brats on finding a cure, and Nora finally got to meet them. But the real news here is the re-appearance of Nora's ex, Will. You know, the guy who threw battery acid or hot soup all over Nora's stomach. His return didn't sit well with Josh, and it took only a few minutes of convincing from Connor to get Josh to go kick his ass. Totally out of character for Josh, sorry. Maybe it's the impending full moon that's turning him into a maniac? I don't know, all I do know is that regular Josh would never do that.

Nora isn't doing too well with Will's return, either. I was scared the writers would do something like make her want to return to him, but instead, she (or the wolf inside her) fantasized about tearing him to pieces. She was doing a total U-turn on her werewolfism and embracing the beast inside her. So she, along with the were-brats, totally gang-ate Will, who likes to work on scary isolated houses in the middle of the night. Sorry, bro. You had that coming with your asking-for-it work schedule. Also, have I ever mentioned how great Nora looks with dirt and blood all over her face? Can you ladies out there make that the hot new makeup style? Cuz it totally works for me.

Aidan's life has gotten a bit more complicated (shocker) now that he's sucking blood and face with Suren, and their complex relationship finally came to light. The three-episode flashback we've been suffering through watching explained itself by showing us what really happened back in the days when a man could wear a horrible mustache and call chicks "dames." Aidan refused Suren's advances because, well, company ink and all. You know who didn't refuse Suren's advances? Aidan's horny progeny Henry, who is nothing but bad news. Despite Aidan's warning of Suren being a one-vampire kind of woman, Henry shagged every lady willing to spread 'em at the fancy cocktail party, and of course Suren found out. We already knew that Suren went nutso at the party, so watching Suren rip out the throat of the slut who did her man wasn't surprising. But what followed was. Vampire PR rule number one: Don't eat people in public. With Suren having made her move, Mother had no choice but to turn the cocktail party into a full-on human buffet.

But that wasn't all! In current times, Mother demanded that all of Bishop's vamp-orphans be poked with sharp sticks, and Aidan and Suren teamed up on a stake-out (haha, good one, Tim!). In the orphans' nest, guess who popped up in front of Aidan while Suren was in the other room? Yup, it was Henry. And what happens next is going to have to wait until next week.

I don't know if anyone else felt this way, but "Addicted to Love" felt TOO dense for me. Almost as if this could have been split up into two episodes, especially considering Josh's and Sally's stories. I would have really liked to see Sally's awkward time spent inside Janet. Why not show a little bit of the bad side of being corporeal? Throw Sally on a crowded bus during rush hour! And will could have caused a little more tension between Nora and Josh as he was around for one more episode. That'd give Josh more time to believably get angry at Will instead of flying off the handle like he did. And Nora would have more time to wrestle with her lupine desires. I know this isn't my show, but that's how I would have done it. We all love this show because we like the characters, and when they do things we don't understand, well, it just doesn't sit well.

Being Human works best when we're really seeing the friendship that bonds the three roommates together, not when the writers are piling the crazy on top of more crazy. Take a deep breath, Being Human, relax and tell a few jokes. Got it? Got it. I'm not hatin', but let's get back to the quality we saw in the early part of the season.

Follow writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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