Your cable guide can be a scary place. So many channels! So many options! So much garbage!
That's why I've taken it upon myself to help you make sense of it all by naming the best show on every network as of right now—late July, 2014.
In assembling this incredible source of information that will be stored forever on the internet and cited in future generations' Television History papers for years to come, I considered the following criteria:
– Original programming only! (Except in cases where a network's original programming is so bad that I had no choice but to select a rerun of a movie.)
– Every show listed must be part of its network's current lineup, but it's okay if a series is between seasons.
And now, here's my rundown of the best shows on all the major-ish networks, presented without explanation.
Note: I suppose there's a SLIGHT chance that your opinions may differ from mine; if that's the case, why don't you share your own list in the comments?
THE MAJOR NETWORKS
ABC: The Goldbergs
CBS: Person of Interest (and March Madness!)
The CW: Umm, The 100?
FOX: Bob's Burgers
THE CABLE NETWORKS
AMC: Egad! The Walking Dead I guess because I don't like Mad Men
FX: The Americans
FXX: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
TNT: Inside the NBA
USA: Playing House
National Geographic: Going Deep with David Rees
Disney: Phineas and Ferb
BBC America: Orphan Black
WGN America: Manhattan
Comedy Central: Nathan For You
ABC Family: Switched at Birth
Syfy: Total Blackout (yes I'm serious, it's the best)
Animal Planet: My Cat from Hell
Nickelodeon: Hmmm, let's go with SpongeBob SquarePants
Cartoon Network: Adventure Time
Adult Swim: Childrens Hospital
MTV: Teen Wolf
The Lottery Devious Maids
TVLand: Hot in Cleveland OMG this was difficult
VH1: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
E!: Burning Love
Bravo: Errr, Watch What Happens Live?
TLC: My Strange Addiction
Spike TV: Raiders of the Lost Ark when it's the weekend afternoon movie
Food Network: Food Network Star
HUB: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
IFC: Comedy Bang! Bang!
CNN: Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown
Fox News: N/A, maybe some of the commercials
ESPN: Around the Horn
MLB Network: Intentional Talk
NFL Network: Thursday Night Football
NBA Network: Clippers games
Music Choice: MC Hip-Hop Classics
THE PREMIUM NETWORKS
HBO: Game of Thrones
Showtime: Penny Dreadful
Starz: Black Sails
THE ONLINE NETWORKS
Hulu: The Hotwives of Orlando
Netflix: Orange Is the New Black
Okay, now let's hear what shows are on YOUR list!