Big Brother, Futurama, and Louie

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What to watch on Thursday, July 7.

If tonight's TV schedule cooked you dinner, it'd be nothing but a stick of butter and a can of frosting on the side for dippin'—in other words, simple and delicious. Check it out:

SEASON 13 PREMIERE, 9pm, CBS
Big Brother
Tonight marks the beginning of the 13th season of the thing that ruins summer every year? Haha just kidding, it's easy to look away. Or IS it? You tell me, Big Brother addict. Anyway, this season promises to match up eight new houseguests with a batch of "classic" babes and himbos who will scheme 'n tussle before the placid gaze of Julie Chen.

ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8pm, PBS
An American Family: Anniversary Edition
Curse it or celebrate it, but An American Family will always be famous for being the granddaddy of all reality programming. Tonight PBS dusts off the footage for a 40th (!!) anniversary edition in which the filmmakers compile the most memorable moments from the series that documented the Loud family just as it began to crumble.

10pm, Comedy Central
Futurama
Fry quits his job and joins the police force's Future Crimes Division. Sort of like in Minority Report, but BLUER and GRAYER.

10:30pm, FX
Louie
Tonight Louie goes on a highly frustrating house hunt, plus his seemingly-negative-but-in-fact-positive-and-inspiring standup routine will touch upon the British royal family's whiteness as well as his own financial shortcomings.

12am, Cartoon Network
Childrens Hospital
In tonight's aptly titled "The '70s Episode," we'll learn the tale of Glenn returning from Vietnam, plus we'll find out about Lola's new career plans and hopefully we'll get more clues as to WHERE exactly this hospital is located! Just kidding, it's in Brazil.


PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...

So You Think You Can Dance, 8 p.m., Fox
Wipeout, 8 p.m., ABC
Burn Notice, 9 p.m., USA
Expedition Impossible, 9 p.m., ABC
4th & Forever
, 9 p.m., Current
First 48, 9 & 10 p.m., A&E;
Police Women of Broward County, SEASON 6 FINALE, 9 p.m., TLC
Selling New York, 9 p.m., HGTV
Swamp People, 9 p.m., History
Wicked Attraction, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Biography: The Barefoot Bandit, 10 p.m., Bio
Love Bites, 10 p.m., NBC
Nightmare Next Door, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
NY Ink, 10 p.m., TLC
Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy, 10 p.m., History
Real Housewives of New York City, 10 p.m., Bravo
Rookie Blue,10 p.m., ABC
Suits, 10 p.m., USA
Swords: Life on the Line, SEASON 3 FINALE, 10 p.m., Discovery
True Life, 10 & 11 p.m., MTV
Wilfred, 10 p.m., FX
Ugly Americans, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central

LATE-NITE PICKS:

Jason Sudeikis on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
John Tesh on The 700 Club, 11 p.m., ABC Family
Louis C.K. on Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
Michael Rapaport on Tavis Smiley, 9 p.m., PBS
Thomas Lennon on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

What are you watching tonight?

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