Blue Bloods, SNL with Helen Mirren, and Human Planet

What to watch on Friday, April 8.

Some people work weekends, so let's not be too braggy about the fact that today is Friday. We wouldn't want to make those individuals feel too bad about themselves, you know? It's called being sensitive. So out of respect for those weirdos who work on weekends, let's just secretly enjoy the fact that it's Friday as modestly as possible. Haha YEAH RIGHT! TGIF woo woo woo!!

Who Do You Think You Are?
In tonight's season finale of this poignant British import, Ashley Judd will leaf through paperwork alleging familial connections to tons of interesting characters, including members of the Union Army and original American settlers. All right, but if the DNA computer (?) makes no mention of her ancestral ties to Wynonna Judd, we'll know something's up.

9pm, HBO
The Ricky Gervais Show
Tonight the guys revisit one of Karl's least comprehended subjects: art. They'll also discuss adaptations of literature and film featuring the Muppets.

10pm, CBS
Blue Bloods
When you think Blue Bloods, you definitely think of high fashion. Tonight, Linda's runway-model niece gets poisoned at a fashion show—and it's up to Danny and Jackie to find the culprit in a timely FASHION.

9pm, CBS
When a food truck explodes in SoHo, the investigators plunge deep into the world of food-truck vendors. There are, like, 30 hours of procedurals on every week—someone was BOUND to run out of ideas sometime! Cut CSI:NY some slack, you guys.


CHAOS, 8 p.m., CBS
Demon Exorcist, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
The Kennedys, 8 p.m., Reelz
Wizards of Waverly Place, 8 p.m., Disney Channel
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
I'm Alive, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Law & Order: UK, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., BBC America
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
Say Yes to the Dress, 9 p.m., TLC
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
American Loggers, 10 p.m., Discovery
Camelot, 10 p.m., Starz
DC Cupcakes, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m. & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Merlin, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., Syfy
The Haunted, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!


George Takei on The Wendy Williams Show, 12:00 a.m., BET
Uma Thurman on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Zooey Deschanel on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:52 a.m., CBS


What to watch on Saturday, April 9.

10pm, Animal Planet
Cats 101
If you are reading the internet right now, then you love cats. FACT. I happen to own a few, and excluding the times when they yak on the floor, cats are awesome. They are not very smart (I am WAY smarter), but they are just smart enough to be hilarious? Anyway, this show is both charming and educational. Tonight's episode will profile Tonkinese, Nebelung, and Serengeti cats. Exotical!

Ferocious Planet
In what is sure to be a fantastic, high-quality production, tonight's Syfy original movie involves scientists inadvertently transporting themselves to an alternate dimension filled with bloodthirsty creatures and other monsters. But the real monster is man? Probably. We'll see. Anyway this thing stars John Rhys-Davies from Lord of the Rings. All right, I guess it's a Costco pizza kind of night.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Helen Mirren hosts tonight's episode of SNL, which either will or won't celebrate her elderly sexiness. Oh, and look at the musical guest: Foo Fighters! Welcome back, guys!


iCarly, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
It's Me or the Dog, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Big Time Rush, 8:30 p.m., Nickelodeon
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Colin Quinn: Long Story Short, SPECIAL, 10 p.m., HBO
Oddities, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Science
Indie Sex, SPECIAL, 12 a.m., Sundance

What to watch on Sunday, April 10.

SERIES PREMIERE, 8 & 9pm, Discovery
Human Planet
Now that the thrill of watching a great white shark jump out of the water in super slo-mo has started to wear off, Human Planet arrives to thrill us all over again with brand-new, insanely beautiful high-definition footage. From the makers of Planet Earth and Life, this new series examines how native cultures interact with their spectacular environs. I don't know about you, but I am really looking forward to the Daytona Beach episode.

8pm, Fox
The Simpsons
Tonight Springfield gets a little more magical as Lisa becomes an apprentice to the Great Raymondo (Martin Landau) and gets mixed up in a magician showdown involving David Copperfield and Penn & Teller. Not to be a nerd about it, but Penn & Teller are heroes.

SPECIAL, 9pm, Comedy Central & CMT & Spike & TV Land & Logo & VH1
The Comedy Awards
Oh, were you hoping to watch something else tonight? Because this thing is on, like, every channel. Anyway, in the first annual ceremony ostensibly celebrating comedy in general, we'll see a heavily NBC-skewing lineup of comedy stars, including Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, Tracey Morgan, Andy Samberg and even The Roots as the house band. Great work, NBC! Better luck next year, MyNetworkTV.

9pm, NBC
Celebrity Apprentice
In tonight's sunscreen-themed challenge, one team of "celebrities" must deal with a troublemaking member (haha, only one?) while the other team of "celebrities" is forced to make a last-minute change. Co-starring LaToya Jackon's wardrobe, as itself.

10pm, AMC
The Killing
Okay, so it's not the fastest-paced show on television, but The Killing's got atmosphere you could drink from a ladle! (Is that a saying?) Tonight, the murder investigation relocates to the basement of the high school where foul play most definitely occurred.


60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
American Dad!, 7:30 p.m., Fox
Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS
America's Next Great Restaurant, 8 p.m., NBC
My Future Boyfriend, ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8 p.m., ABC Family
Secret Millionaire, SEASON FINALE, 8 p.m., ABC
The Kennedys, FINALE, 8 p.m., Reelz
Bob's Burgers, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Army Wives, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Ax Men, 9 p.m., HGTV
Brothers & Sisters, 9 p.m., ABC
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Sister Wives, 9 p.m., TLC
Undercover Boss, 9 p.m., CBS
The Cleveland Show, 9:30 p.m., Fox
Breakout Kings, 10 p.m., A&E;
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS
Iron Chef America, 10 p.m., Food Network
Khloe & Lamar, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., E!
Mildred Pierce, FINALE, 9 p.m., HBO
Real Housewives of Orange County, 10 p.m., Bravo
River Monsters, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Shark Men, 9 p.m., NatGeo
The Judds, SERIES PREMIERE, 9 & 10 p.m., OWN
Coming Home, 10 p.m., Lifetime
The Dance Scene, SERIES PREMIERE, 10:30 p.m., E!
Superjail, 12:00 a.m., Cartoon Network

What are you watching this weekend?

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