What to watch on Wednesday, April 6.
Whoa, slow down, television. How much free time do you think we HAVE? Sometimes I wish television would just chill out and only have like two or three new things to watch, but instead we have situations like tonight, where it's like an avalanche, and we have to make tough choices. Thanks for nothing, television! (Thanks for EVERYTHING?)
SERIES PREMIERE, 9:30pm, Fox
In this new Adam Sandler-produced action-comedy, Christian Slater stars as the leader of an organization that gets paid to break into companies in order to expose their security vulnerabilities. Who doesn't need a company like that? Very useful! They will get tons of business. Anyway, tonight Slater blackmails a college student/computer hacker into interning for him. Ugh, internships, am I right?
Survivor: Redemption Island
Tonight this season's ubiquitous twist reaches its endgame as our final Redemption Island duel transpires just before the tribes merge. Will Christian dreamboat Matt win his fifth consecutive duel and rejoin the game, or will freshly booted Sarita pull an upset? Only Jeff Probst knows for sure.
SEASON PREMIERE, 11pm, Bravo
Top Chef Masters
The third season of Top Chef Masters kicks off with a new host (hunky Aussie Curtis Stone) and a revised format, but the central premise remains the same: Will any of these 12 famous chefs humiliate themselves so badly that their restaurants go out of business as a result? Only Jeff Probst knows for sure (I'm guessing).
SERIES PREMIERE, 9 & 9:30pm, TLC
This instant-punchline TLC special is now an instant-punchline TV SERIES! In tonight's back-to-back episodes, we'll meet a Maryland woman who buys $2000 worth of groceries for $100 and a St. Louis woman who plans a huge party for under $50. Sure, accomplishing these feats is a time-consuming, nightmarish brain riddle, but they definitely saved a ton of money!
SERIES PREMIERE, 10:30pm, Comedy Central
Comedy Central's newest scripted sitcom follows three recent college grads who work together as telemarketers and live together, too. But you'll be surprised to learn they are NOT very professional. For instance, in tonight's series premiere, they'll attempt to bribe children into giving them urine samples in order to pass workplace drug tests. See, that is not very professional in my opinion.
SPECIAL PRESENTATION, 8pm, Biography
Scream: The Inside Story
To celebrate the impending release of Scream 4 (which is DEFINITELY something to celebrate, I am excited!), check out tonight's Biography special about the making of Scream. What is your favorite death scene from the trilogy? Mine is probably the Sarah Michelle Gellar scene from Scream 2. It's even scarier when you LIKE the actor! (Don't even get me started on SMG's scene from I Know What You Did Last Summer).
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., CW
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox
Minute to Win It, 8 p.m., NBC
Are We There Yet?, 9 & 9:30 p.m., TBS
Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 9 p.m., A&E;
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
MythBusters, MIDSEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Discovery
Shedding for the Wedding, 9 p.m., CW
The Ultimate Fighter, 9 p.m., Spike
Weird Warfare, SPECIAL, 9 p.m., History Channel
Mr. Sunshine, 9:30 p.m., ABC
Coal, 10 p.m., Spike
Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, 10 p.m., CBS
Glamour Belles, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 & 10:30 p.m., Lifetime
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 10 p.m., TLC
Justified, 10 p.m., FX
Law & Order: SVU, 10 p.m., NBC
Off the Map, 10 p.m., ABC
The Real World, 10 p.m., MTV
Top Chef All-Stars, REUNION SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Bravo
Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TBS,
Storage Wars, 10:30 p.m., A&E;
LATE NITE PICKS:
Danny McBride on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Don Rickles on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Donald Glover & Paul Simon on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 p.m., NBC
Norm Macdonald on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
What are you watching tonight?