Celebrity Apprentice: I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here!

Celebrity Apprentice S12E04: "Failure to Launch"

You ever notice how disproportionate the amount of time is that Celebrity Apprentice spends in the board room? Half of the episode is a showcase for some lame product, and the other half is dedicated to the pearl clutching and side-eye reaction shots of the celebrities as they stab each other in the back and try to match wits with the Donald, who went to the trouble of co-ordinating his pearl pink lip gloss with this tie this episode.

How much do you think companies bid to place a task before Trump's famous-ish novices? I don't think I fully "got" how much Donald is essentially pimping out these celebrities as free spokespeople bobbing in a sea of airtime. You'd think after the girls showed up last week wearing Ivanka's earrings and singing the praises of her over-priced line that I'd have gotten it, but it took the Donald getting furious about Michael Andretti not becoming project manager to really hammer it home.

Michael Andretti didn't want to be here in the first place. After a personal family issue, he came in the place of his much more famous father, racing legend Mario Andretti. And the Donald fired him this week, at first claiming he had "no presence" onstage.

Well, not everyone is PT Barnum, Trump, and as his teammates hurried to point out, he's neither a performer nor was he project manager. So Trump got more specific, pointing out that even if Michael doesn't sparkle behind a microphone, he could have done more "with his brand" to promote Buick. The power of the Andretti name behind Buick, that's clearly what they paid for, and the Donald had told the men's team to make Andretti the project manager.

What no one is mentioning here is that Michael Andretti might value his name and its brand just as much as Buick, and he might in fact not want to attach it willy-nilly to some random marque to get ahead in a reality show. The Andretti name carries a certain cache, but like all brands, it loses power when it loses integrity. Andretti was let go because he didn't bend over and shill for free for the Donald's reality franchise. Ivanka even said to her father at the close of the boardroom massacre, there were no upcoming challenges that could have used his skills more. Which is to say, our sponsors don't need him anymore, but we can still use Clay Aiken to sell chicken sandwiches or some BS.

The other fired celebrity last night was Adam Carolla, which is devastating for me as I was watching the show mostly for his asides and to see him in person. At least he left with dignity, choosing to take responsibility for the project's loss as the project manager, rather than dragging back two people and pleading to Donald to keep him around. I feel like Adam was kind of fed up with this and preferred to go home and have his wine and nap anyway. At least it saved Lou Ferrigno what would have been his eighth speech about how he gives 110 percent and is a hard worker and they haven't seen nothing yet and his remarkable skills blah blah blah. Lou makes me super uncomfortable, the way he mad dogs his teammates when they admit "Lou does nothing" which THEY ALL DO because apparently he doesn't add much to the team. Lou must save his energy for his performances in the board room.

Speaking of performances: Aubrey O'Day, in an Austin Powers costume, giving an impassioned speech about her mother's car accident…and it never happened? She made the whole thing up? Can they do that? Aubrey seemed super pleased with the way she made all those people super sad. Combined with her Spiderman dress and her Ronald McDonald-wave updo, she is seriously turning into a Batman villain. Not that that's a bad thing, at least it keeps the show entertaining with Adam gone.

But we're not meant to be entertained by things like Adam's strengths, wit and insight. We're meant to enjoy watching these poor chumps claw each other's eyes out, and Trump was turning the screws to make sure these harmless clowns did just that. Trump waited for what seemed a record amount of time before announcing the winner this go round, insulting poor Tia Carrere and getting her and Debbie Gibson at each other's throats before telling them they won the challenge. When Adam tried to take the fall for his team, he responded by announcing he was going to fire TWO people. Don't try to cheat him of his drama! The audience wants blood letting and back stabbing, and the Donald will get it for them by any means. Celebrity Apprentice has lost any pretense to being about watching celebrities work as a team or attempt to solve real-world problems and show their skills. It's about exploiting people financially, emotionally and spiritually to get Donald exactly the results he wants. That's the real Celebrity Apprentice business model.

QUESTIONS...

…Will you miss Adam?

…Isn't Buick kind of a weird match for the Andretti name anyway?

…Is Aubrey O' Day a terrible liar or a great saleswoman?

…Is it proper business dress to match your tie and your lips?

Comments (20)
Submit
Sort: Latest | Popular
One final point should we be looking to a man who can't make a profit with a casino for business savvy? Casino's where people give you money for nothing. And you can't make a profit? laughable.
Reply
Flag
Listen to Adam's Podacst with Penn Jillete posted today. Pretty interesting to hear how things played out what really happened. Seems a lot to me like Trump and Buick were ticked because they didn't get the free endorsement of Andretti. This was the first chance I gave to Apprentice or Celeb Apprentice because there were a few celebs I was interested in seeing. Knowing the way they manipulated the show is awful.



Andretti may not have wanted his brand associated with the Buick brand. Plus when someone calls this car by the wrong name and the girls still win? In a product unveil? That's just laughable.



I highly suggest you go to iTunes or Adam's website and listen to the show he did for 3/13 at least the begining 40 or so to hear what was really going on. A bit of foul language involved, fair warning.
Reply
Flag
Let's get our facts straight. Michael replaced his son Marco, and it was not a family issue, it was the crash death of a fellow racer.
Reply
Flag
Lou should be the apprentice winner so he can trump the crap outta Trump 110% otherwise !
Reply
Flag
Question...

Does anyone think that this task is the reason they insisted on having an Andretti on the show (any Andretti), instead of finding a replacement "celebrity"?

2nd Question...

Am I an idiot for not catching on to that sooner? Yes.
Reply
Flag
No, there was no guarantee Marco wouldn't have been PM beforehand and then screwed the pooch so badly that he'd have already been fired.
Reply
Flag
Trump is the guarantee seeing as he chooses who goes home and who stays.
Reply
Flag
Why hasn't this show been axed? its just horrible.
Reply
Flag
Because NBC has nothing else to replace it with. They have so little that they give the show two hours, and have at least twice had hour-long mini versions of the previous episodes before the new episode.
Reply
Flag
Preach on! It seemed so hypocritical to cite Andretti for his lack of stage presence and then turn around and slam the team for not having him more front and center? Whaaaat? And was it me or did they give absolutely zero consideration to the fact that Adam hosts a car show and this task was 100% in his wheelhouse? (a term I learned the origin of from Carolla himself via his podcast)

...absolutely, he was the reason I tuned in this season.

...I have no clue because I know nothing about the Andretti name.

...I'm pretty sure that question is redundant and, therefore, not a question.

...isn't it standard for businessmen to have a matching gloss for each suit?



Great recap!
Reply
Flag
People still watch this show?
Reply
Flag
- I'm with the guys on this one. I honestly didn't think Team Unanimous did anything wrong. They lost because Buick & Trump had bugs up their respective asses because Michael Andretti didn't wholeheartedly endorse the product.

- Let's think about this for a second. What did the guys really do wrong?? They killed in the Q & A session and Adam Carolla definitely knew his stuff about the car. Andretti is NOT a public speaker and I thought he did a decent job. What did Trump want him to do?? Strut around wearing a Hawaiian T-shirt with bells around his neck singing "Buick is the best"?? Trump's a jackass.

- As for the women, they knew absolutely nothing about the car (except what the executives told them), Aubrey O'Day lied about her Mom & got the NAME OF THE CAR wrong. Really?? That wasn't a massive screw-up?? I guess we now know what Buick's standards are.
Reply
Flag
As Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons would say " Worst episode ever!"



1) so wait the woman team had a good Q and A even though they did not know alot of the technical stuff . I am confused so the audience and Buick like being BSed.





2) Hold on Donald and Buick were upset that they did not use Michael more but than complain that he lacked stage presents. This is the one of the stupidest thing I have heard. Its obvious that all the cared about was clinging their name to the Andretti brand and nothing else. Lets face it , Buick is a sorry excuse for a car company and their their management ran company into the ground. If it was not for the bailout they would be out of business . Nice to see the Donald promote worthy products. Buick knew they needed Mikes brand to pump up their brand . As you said it is about pimping product rather than having a decent reality competition show. I am glad that Mike had more pride than just to do something to make the Donald happy.



3) So Donald punish the men's team because Adam was trying to do the right thing and prob would of been fired anyways. Great job Donald you showed us what kind of man you really are.!



how long before they rename this the celebrity joke of a reality show !!!!! I am done with this show!
More+
Reply
Flag
The villains here are the Buick people for choosing Forte over Unanimous.

What a colossal idiotic decision!

The Buick boycott is on.
Reply
Flag
I'm still dumbfounded why Michael was fired. He's not a spokesperson! How much more do you want from an Andretti? He said he loved the car. And he was a huge part of the Q&A. Even if he was te project manager, he's still be in the same role and Adam would be the presenter. This episode really annoyed me. Trump and Buick are stupid
Reply
Flag
I can't believe they let Aubrey (who is she anyway?) get away with the lies she told. Does Buick really want that out there as their 'image'?



Also, she is DEFINITELY not a good salesmen. She mispronounced the name of the car twice. How in the world did they win?
Reply
Flag
In fairness, I doubt the Buick execs had any clue at the time she was telling a fictional story.
Reply
Flag
In response to both the reviewer, and your first comment, let me ask you a very simple, rhetorical question:



Is there truth in advertising?
Reply
Flag
First off, Michael didn't replace his father Mario on the show, he replaced his son, Marco!!!



Second, I'm done with this show. I was only watching for Michael Andretti.



Third, I agree with what Michael did. He is a racecar driver, not a car salesman. Adam was the better person to put up on stage to promote the car. Having Michael test drive it and give his opinion was important, but they really shouldn't have expected him to attach his name to the car just to sell it or win the task. He has his own endorsements and sponsors he has to answer to already so he can't just up and attach himself to something else to win a task on Celebrity Apprentice.
Reply
Flag
In the words of Doug Benson, "I'm sad to see you go (Adam), but happy I don't have to watch the rest of the season"
Reply
Flag

Like TV.com on Facebook