Celebrity Apprentice, Translated

The language of the entertainment industry is amorphous, noncommittal, and steeped in various waves of psychology. The business of office culture is diplomatic, cagey, and spackled with buzzwords. On Celebrity Apprentice, you combine the two, and suddenly everything is a lie wrapped in a riddle buried in a secret. I had to call in my bullsh-t translator for this week's episode "How Much Is That Celebrity In The Window?", a window dressing challenge that asked the ladies' and men's teams, who can barely communicate through their words, to communicate to the world by dressing two Lord & Taylor's windows.

Here are some almost indecipherable quotes from the show, and here are the real world translations by our certified Bullsh-t Translator, Inez. Hi Inez!

Okay. So when the teams first started, the women's groups started discussing which of them would physically appear in the windows as living mannequins. Debbie Gibson offered to model:

During the fabrication, Lou Farignole tried to interject when Adam Carolla and the biker guy were working out a signage problem.

The women had to come up with a completely different concept for their window minutes before the deadline, because of a printing error.

Later, when Ivanka went to judge the windows, she noticed they had cast Aubrey O'Day to portray her in the window.

Later in the board room, Trump asked project leader Dayana who she would send back to the board room.

The men's team also had their own share of drama. Dee had to spend the challenge in the hospital getting four pins put in his finger, and Trump told the men's team they could not even nominate him to be fired, which was met with mixed results. Dee looked a little hurt by their dismay that they couldn't nominate him.

Ultimately, the men's team lost the challenge, and their project manager went home. The Donald did the honors.

Glad we've cleared a little of that up. Ultimately, the women won their first challenge, and ancient George Takei went home, the first loss for the men's team. Kind of wonder if they decided to have the third project judged in-house so they could make sure the women won this time, to stir the pot and even the numbers. Any thoughts?


…Did the women's team deserve to win?

…Do you feel sorry for Lou?

…Has Audrey O' Day had facial surgery?

…What other BS statements did you hear, and can you translate them for me?

Comments (5)
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I do think that it was more of a promotion task but than again which task is not the promotion task? IF men's team play more organized then I believe they had better chances to win but Project Management was really weak. Communication within members fell a part right away from what we seen.

All in all, I am pleased with the result.
I really believed that the contest was for the women to win to keep the teams balanced and, but for a little change in background paint and maybe a fine tuning on the outfits (darn gay men not subscribing to the stereotypes), the men would have put the Trumps in a bad position of having to show that the show was rigged.
The whole thing was BS imo. Lets have an hour promoting the naff Ivanka fashion line (I didn't see a single thing I would buy) and balance the teams in the process. Seriously, if it wasn't for Penn I wouldn't be putting myself through this torture. Fortunately I record it and so can fast forward the worst bits.
Boo to bringing all three of my favorite guys into the boardroom and one had to go. So yeah, George wasn't a good PM but then this task was a major disadvantage to them. At least, he admitted he did a bad job (kudos for that). Oh well, two left now... :(
Not just the judging, could it have been a more Women oriented task, I think not. However the preview for next week is a car task so looks like they are at least evening it out. If the men can't win a car task with Michael Andretti and Big Paul, they's in trouble.

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