Covert Affairs: Love Hurts

Covert Affairs S03E04: “Speed of Life”

Love was in the air over at Covert Affairs... for about ten minutes. Annie and Simon and Auggie and Parker faced some job-related obstacles to romantic bliss and, well, you know how they say “love conquers all?”

Not so much, here.

A break-in at a defense contractor put every government office on alert—from the FBI to Homeland Security—and mastermind Simon, the guy behind the theft of those top secret computer chips, ditched his plans to take in the sights in Edinburgh, opting to surprise Annie in Washington instead. You know, because he thinks she’s an awesome girlfriend. Definitely not because all of the increased security after the break-in made it hard for his cat burglar to get the loot to him overseas.

Annie found herself navigating the precarious waters where real life and spy life overlapped. Lena’s office managed to cobble together an apartment for Annie Walker: Smithsonian Employee, but playing girlfriend with Simon meant blowing off Danielle (who took it as well as Danielle ever does) and ducking real life acquaintances in public who could unwittingly blow her cover.

Her mission was further complicated by her insistence on bringing the FBI into the loop regarding Simon, the break-in at the defense contractor, and the burglar. It was a move that Lena didn’t approve of, especially considering Annie’s insistence on reaching out to the other agency DESPITE Lena already telling her not to. Annie’s face during the ensuing lecture was priceless. She was so shocked that Lena was reprimanding her. That’s our Annie, all grown up and defiant. It’s like her spy career has entered its teenage years.

For a while, Annie managed to navigate between her real and manufactured personae well, but when the FBI revealed that it had figured out that Simon was involved with the theft and that it had also figured out when the exchange would take place and planned to bust the entire operation, Lena told Annie to interfere. There were bigger fish to fry and they would be better caught with Simon on the loose. If he was present for the FBI bust, Annie’s cover would be blown and the entire operation would be set back to square one. Annie tried to convince the FBI to back down by claiming that Simon was an asset and when the agency refused, she tried to get Simon to skip the drop by playing the neglected girlfriend card. When HE refused to back down, fake Annie had to fake break up her fake relationship with her fake boyfriend so that her fake anger seemed genuine.

In the end, it all seemed to be for nothing. The FBI bust went through as planned, but the buyer who was meeting the burglar wasn’t Simon and the briefcase that was supposed to contain the stolen chips was empty. Somewhere else in town, Simon walked away with the contraband, having met with some random background security guard we fleetingly saw during the break-in, the REAL keeper of the chips. I see what you did there, Covert Affairs. That was slick. You’re so slick this season. Keep it up.

So, Annie “broke up” with Simon to keep him out of the FBI’s clutches, but he managed to avoid them anyway. Cue the fake make-up?

Negative, Ghost Rider. Lena insisted that Annie’s cover could have still been compromised and sent her back to the DPD. OUCH.

That hardly cued the end of the Annie and Simon’s awkward fake romance, though. He hit her up later to issue an apology... which she accepted. What do you think? Was Annie’s acceptance sincere or do you think she’s going rogue and taking spy matters into her own hands? OR, is the entire demotion a ruse itself?

And where was Auggie in all of this? Getting brilliantly drunk at a bar for most of it, actually. Things started out well enough with a topless Auggie fielding the kinds of questions from Parker that a spy girlfriend should know not to ask. For a second there, I thought Parker might be our new Danielle, since Danielle is moving to California and all. You know, the clueless family member who exists solely to ask things like, “What are you working on at your super top secret spy job?” just to remind us that being a spy is, in fact, super top secret.

But alas, even Auggie’s awesome abs weren’t enough to persuade Parker to stick around. She claimed that she couldn’t marry Auggie because they didn’t really know each other. He asked if it was the spy thing and she said that it was, but in a bit of writing I actually applaud for giving Parker more depth in her decision process than just being angry about Auggie’s job, she went on to point out that they don’t know ANYTHING about each other, really.

Auggie was unfazed and claimed that they would get to know each other over time, that that’s how engaged couples do it.

No, dude, it’s really not. Not if you want to have a HEALTHY relationship, anyway.

Still, justified or not, that was a tough break-up to watch. Auggie’s face! The desperation! The hurt! He may have rushed into things, but Auggie’s feelings were clearly genuine. He eventually wound up at a bar, calling Annie to come take over BFF duty. Unfortunately, Annie was busy trying to keep her fake relationship with Simon alive, and by the time she was freed up to meet him, the stack of shot glasses in front of Auggie Anderson was daunting. My stomach was churning just looking at them. He’s going to be praying to the porcelain god in the morning. And after getting into a bar fight with another patron, complete with the shattering of a beer bottle over the guy’s head, I have a feeling that porcelain god is going to be in a jail cell somewhere.

Somebody pass the aspirin, everybody was hurting by the end of this episode.



Super Secret Spy Notes


– “You are actively cockblocking a national security op.” Ladies and gentlemen, Lena Smith.

– It was Joan’s turn to take a lie detector test about Jai’s murder. She was uncooperative, too. I feel bad for the guy in charge of testing all these people. Every single one of them goes on a defensive rant despite the fact that as professionals, they should be able to understand that the man is just doing his job.

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"fake Annie had to fake break up her fake relationship with her fake boyfriend so that her fake anger seemed genuine."



^^ROFL
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I've thought from the very beginning that Simon knows Annie is a spy. Didn't this episode already confirm it?
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Good episode. I definitely like the different, darker tone of Covert Affairs this season. I will miss Danielle a little bit (unlike others!) because of the grounded, family angle she provided Annie, but Annie is becoming a much better spy thanks to Lena, which in turn is making for a better series to me. Simon is super-skilled and super-hard to figure out right now. I love it!



I feel so bad for Auggie. That last hug from the last week's episode didn't look good, and I had a feeling it was coming to this. He definitely rushed this proposal because of Jai's death and took the breakup really hard. However, the bar fight was fun to watch though! Man, he served that guy up lol!!!
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Good times. I knew the whole Parker and Auggie thing wasn't going to last...but I didn't expect it to crumble that quickly. So kudos to them. Poor guy...I really felt for him. I truly did. But he shouldn't have popped to question to her anyways and she shouldn't have married him..and that had nothing to do with the spy thing, but just how sudden their relationship was anyways. Although...even though I don't necessairly agree with it...marriage fundamentally was all about marrying someone you hardly knew and learning about them along the way. In many ways I'm so glad that has evolved beyond goat and daughter exchanges and arranged marriages...on the other hand marriage in itself has gone to hell and shockingly some of the strongest of them happen to be just like that. eh. But yeah Parker finally said what I had been yelling at the tv anyways. They don't know each other. Sadly it should have never gotten this far.



Annie...Simon...Lena. Ugh. I cannot wait for the next episode. I love watching her and the super sexy Mossad agent play cat and mouse.
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It is illegal in the U.S. to require a husband/wife to testify against each other. The lie detector administrator was trying to do just that, and he wasn't "just doing his job". He accepted a dick job asking loaded questions. If you want to see how a lie detector should be used, watch Pindar Singh in the most recent episode of Franklin & Bash. Much better!
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Is that technically testifying? I thought that only applied to court-related things.
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It does. As far as the government is concerned..no holds bar baby.
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Do CIA agents actually jump into bed with people they are spying on?



I've never seen polygraphs portrayed realistically on TV. Joan was correct that the questioner should be asking yes or no question. Furthermore, the person being polygraphed does not sit facing the interrogator, and the questions are discussed before being hooked up to the polygraph. They also intersperse the real questions with control question, but I can overlook that they might skip showing that to save time.



I was also under the impression that it was illegal for the CIA to operate within the United States.
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As far as the CIA operating in the USA... I know at least at one point they were prohibited... they were supposed to be foreign-countries ONLY and the FBI (and others) would handle domestic.

But... I have no idea if everything changed post "Patriot Act"
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I believe the point was made a few episodes ago that dudes may jump into bed with people they are spying on but that girls are not allowed because of their girly emotions.
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Maybe that's why Annie clued in all the other agencies who are allowed to operate.
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The most entertaining thing on TV last night: Michael Phelps makes history? No, BLIND GUY IN A BAR FIGHT!
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I like the darker (for USA standards) tone of Covert Affairs this season... Annie has always been out of her depth in the spy game as she was over-promoted far too early because of her shenanigans with that spy badass guy...



Danielle get your own housewives of some Californian condo spin off but please be gone...



Jai - still hoping you're chilling in some hideaway drinking margaritas or something
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I really like this season! It does feel like Annie is growing up! LOL!

Poor Auggie he begged and everything... but hey, Parker's decision really came up as a little bit more mature that his.
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Is it me or has Covert Affairs become a lot more serial this season than in the first two?
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I kind of liked the episode. However, I am kind of disappointed because it was such a promising season premier. I was hoping that Annie under the tutelage of Lena was going to turn into a complete badass agent. But she is basically the same. Here is hoping that Danielle leaving will give her that kick into badassdom that she desperately needs.



The Auggie/Parker thing should have been seen a mile away. At least it was more realistic and it was a decent break up. Auggie kicking the meathead guys arse was hilarious.



Everything else was kind of blah. I still think it would be great if Joan had something to do with Jai's death. But I agree with the assessment of the dealings with the polygrapher. However they are all spies and supposed to be able to beat that.



As for the reveal of what Simon's tattoo was. It was Ursa Minor which I think it a decent reveal. because if he is the "little bear" then who is the Great Bear. I wonder which is in the box sitting in Auggie's office. And when all of that is going to come into play. Mostly because the emotional stuff is a bit taxing, this is supposed to be a spy drama. I want to see some CIA badassness.
More+
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In case you haven't noticed, Annie is already a badass agent. She's the one who breaks all the rules and yet comes out smelling like a rose. She totally kicks all those foreign agents asses even when they are armed and she's not.
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That doesn't make her a badass. It makes her a dumbass. Annie is only alive right now because of authorial fiat, because her as a field officer with reasonably intelligent opponents would have gotten her killed a dozen times over already.



It makes me sick that the author refers to Annie's misconduct as "her teenaged years" at the Company like it's something sweet. Newsflash: Annie's a grown frickin adult, and she's already 30 years old by now. She has no business behaving like a moody, defiant teenager.
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Yea but is that based on skill or merely luck. When I say badass agent. I think more of a Sydney Bristow ala Jennifer Garner on Alias kind agent. Without it being comic book like. That is what I mean. Annie, for me at least, seems to stumble through the mission and comes out on top more because of luck rather than being a more than competent agent. Just because the foreign agents are seriously incompetent and written so, doesn't mean Annie is where she could be.
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Poor Auggie I truly hope he can bounce back, I absolutely hate to see him in such pain! During the whole episode I just wanted to give him the biggest hug! :( I hope Annie can get her act 2gether as well! So excited 4 2 weeks form now!
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I love how the Jock was still giving Auggie s**t after finding out he was blind... AND acting like he was being the bigger man... AND still acting threatening... ALL AT ONCE. Like "Ah, dude just 'try to be more observant' before hitting on a girl"

Seriously? Was his name Spuds Meathead? I get the "I'm not going to treat you differently" but he was continuing to verbally spank him for hitting on your date. And even before it went sour (with Auggie threatening back) he was still acting like a hostile d-bag.

Just... flashbacks of high school all over again.
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lol nothing against you man but the jock guy was actually being pretty polite and auggie was just a complete dick to him. He reacted how any person prob would've. Please dont hit on my girlfriend. Friendly pat on the back. Just trying to help you out. Auggie was just looking for a fight plain and simple.



Sounds like your HS days weren't so great.
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Nah, Auggie definitely went "alpha male" first, but the guy was doing that polite threatening thing. Like: keep your eyes open man, our I'll deck ya :smile:

Then again I didn't DVR it, maybe I'm just mis-remembering the scene and he really was just being a nice guy and laughing at himself for mis-reading the situation.

But sometimes a passive aggressive guy pretending to be nice while both putting you down and threatening... it's worse than a drunk jerk
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That was the way I read it too. The guy was being a jerk thinly disguised as "friendly advice" but Auggie was in the mood for a fight so wasn't willing to take it at face value. As for who started it, the other guy's girlfriend started the conversation with him and he wasn't hitting on her. The other guy just assumed he was.
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