Dancing With the Stars Cast: An Open Field

Just like the fantasy football draft is better than fantasy football itself, the announcement of the cast of Dancing With the Stars is the highlight of the Dancing With the Stars season. Each year producers tinker with their participants to formulate a well-rounded cast and this year's stable of dancers is being called its best yet.

Indeed, there are less "no names" on this year's roster and a good combination of fading stars and up-and-coming pseudo celebs. Producers also realized that hiring contestants with professional dance training is probably a bad idea (exhibit A: last year's champ Nicole Scherzinger). Gee, ya think?

Without further ado, here's your cast of this year's edition of Dancing With the Stars, and some stupid commentary on each contestant.

Michael Bolton, singer. Who would you rather have dinner with: Michael Bolton or Kenny G.? Kenny G. all the way.

Brandy, R&B; singer and actress. Not quite as dance-y as previous R&B; singers on DWTS. Once killed someone with her car.

Margaret Cho, Korean-American comedienne. She's lost a lot of weight. According to Wikipedia, she is active in the BDSM lifestyle, which means I need to scrub my brain with a Brillo pad in order to get that image out of my head.

Rick Fox, former NBA player. Fox is somehow dating Eliza Dushku. Dated Vanessa Williams in her prime. If the horizontal lambada is featured in the show this year, my money is on him.

Jennifer Grey, star of Dirty Dancing. She may seem like a frontrunner in the competition based on her movie role, but she had a much different center of balance back then when she had her real nose.

David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch. Loves cheeseburgers.

Florence Henderson, Carol Brady of The Brady Bunch. She had sex with her TV son.

Kyle Massey, star of Disney's Cory in the House. I have no dirt on this guy, but give it some time. I'm sure he's done something shady.

Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah Palin and teen-abstinence hypocrite. There's nothing I can say that would be any worse for her than anything she would say herself.

Audrina Patridge, star of The Hills. She's 50 percent plastic and 50 percent robot.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, star of Jersey Shore. I don't know why, but I am totally rooting for him. He's got ABS OF DEATH!

Kurt Warner, former NFL MVP quarterback. Loves to leave himself open to the blindside sack. His wife had a much-needed makeover and he has seven children. Seven! Is Jesus' number-one fan.

Who do you think will win, and who do you want to win?

Dancing With the Stars premieres September 20 on ABC.


Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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Hi There - i am a personality profiler & i consult in 5 continents, i know which team will win season 11 based on their names - too much to write here - but here's a quick video . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhV_zPYngxE
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...And in the IDGAS category...but oh, that photo of "The Hoff" gracing this topic on your Home page?? It made me throw up in my mouth a little bit...
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I think it will be a great season I love dancing with the stars I belong to 3 or 4 dance clubs myself .
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Flo only went on one "date" with her tv son as a favor to a hormonal teenager. She MAY have kissed him at the end of the "date", but come ON printing that they had SEX!? not true! As for Brandy killing someone with her car?! Seriously?! THAT's not why she's famous and if true is a horrible ordeal.
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The Situation should reach the top 4. It would be entertaining.
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I think Jennifer Grey and the Hoff would make a nice DWTS couple. He sort of looks like Patrick Swayze now that I think about it. And that Margaret Cho....she looks like a bucket of class doesn't she
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Dancing with the Stars? Stars? With very few exceptions this show continues to get more and more desperate in the very broad description of the term STAR. Heard they asked Betty White but she had to pass - good for her, she's a real star with a real career.
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I NEED to start watching dancing with the stars!!!
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While I'm not fond of the situation i give him the early thumbs up. Let's see how they do after the first week.
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Why am I even drawn to reading the selected cast? Freaky...
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BARF
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Don't know and don't care.
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I want Michael Bolton to win and I want "The Situation" to break a bone and have to quit.
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Correction! Rick Fox was married to Vanessa Williams. I used to like this show when it first started. Last year was the worst season ever. I will only watch this year if I have nothng better to do.
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He's dating Eliza Dushku! What?!
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I haven't seen Dancing with the Stars since season two, but I might see this out of curiosity. Jennifer Grey seems like the most likely candidate to succeed, the rest I have no hope for.
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nobody exciting as usual. Seriously Bristol Palin she's not a star. Florence Henderson why do they want people in their 80s on this show?
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PS for the love of god get rid of that hasselhoff picture. I have the flu. i feel sick enough as it is.
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I don't know if you've noticed but DWTS is a bad ripoff of the english show, Strictly Come Dancing. The original isn't worth the time and money spent on it and neither is this
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nobody cuz their horrible
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