Dancing With the Stars Continues to Abuse the Word "Stars" (Meet the New Cast!)


From L to R: Someone, somebody, whatsherface, that person, oh oh oh on the tip of my tongue, Urkel, guy, man, dude in hat, probably the country singer.


Every season, ABC announces a new cast of celebrity participants for its regular circus of prancing semi-famous people, Dancing With the Stars, and each season I have to look up more and more of the names. This year's crop of stars who are looking to reinvigorate their popularity through nimble footwork is a veritable list of "Who?" and for the umpteenth season in a row, the worst one yet.

Let's list them off alphabetically, because listing them according to popularity would be moot.


Gavin DeGraw

The platinum-selling country singer will be paired with last year's pro champ Karina Smirnoff. A country singer dancing with a Russian woman? I guess the Cold War really is over.


Donald Driver

The Green Bay Packers wide receiver won a Super Bowl ring in 2011. But let's not kid ourselves, the Packers receiver we want to see on DWTS is Jordy Nelson. We know the white boy was underrated in football because of the color of his skin, now we want to see if he can dance!


Roshon Fegan

This season's youngster thrown out to woo tweens and incorporate synergy with ABC sister network Disney Channel currently stars on the series Shake It Up. Ask your little sister.


Melissa Gilbert

The former child star is best known for her role as Laura Ingalls Wilder on Little House on the Prairie. Since then, she's served two terms as president of the Screen Actors Guild and directed the afterschool special Me and My Hormones. Star!


Katherine Jenkins

Okay, now I think ABC is just making people up. Jenkins is a British classical vocalist. Or so she says!


Gladys Knight

The R&B; and soul legend sang the hits "Every Beat of My Heart" and "I Heard it Through the Grapevine." She will be without The Pips.


William Levy

Cuban actor Levy is here to draw in the Latino audience. He's appeared on Pasions and a show that was—no joke—called Los Teens. I'm totally Netflixin' that.


Maria Menounos

Cute as a button and never quite able to break that tough barrier between "entertainment magazine TV show host" and "actress," Menounous is the host of Extra. Her ABC bio also says that she loves "people, life, and trying new things." I always knew my hatred of new things would keep me from being a celebrity.


Martina Navratilova

Navratilova was nicknamed "The Terminator" on the tennis court by me. She has won 59 Grand Slam titles, which is insane, including nine Wimbledon championships. She's a pioneer for her sport and female athletes everywhere, coming out as a lesbian in the 1980s. Remember her rivalry with Chris Evert? Remember that skit from Saturday Night Live?


Sherri Shepherd

She's known for her hosting duties on The View. But what you really need to know about her is that she doesn't believe in evolution, isn't sure that the earth is round, and thinks Jesus was the first thing on the planet.


Jack Wagner

Back in his day, Jack Wagner was THE STUD TO END ALL STUDS. He was like Rick Springfield, Eddie Money, and uhhh, some other old guy all rolled into one. Your mom thought about his character on General Hospital on lonely nights.


Jaleel White

He was Urkel! Finally, a legitimate star!


Seriously, is this the worst Dancing With the Stars lineup ever announced, or what?


It's customary for me to pick a winner and then forget about it for the rest of the season, so here goes: Donald Driver!


Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

Comments (35)
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I've heard of 7 of the 12, more than usual.
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okay I like the cast as I said before, BUT this season will be it's 14th the pool is starting to thin out a little!!TIM
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Soooo very glad there is not anybody worth watching this year!
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Gavin Degraw isn't really a country singer... just saying.
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You are either very, very young, or have just crawled out from under your rock. I'm surprised at how many actual famous performers and successful sports people were chosen for this season. I, for one, am looking forward to it, as is my whole family.



I also didn't appreciate the anti-Christian comment...and you have the wrong "View" person.
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He was actually correct about Sherri Shepherd's three beliefs or understanding - if you do a search on YouTube, you can hear that directly with Sherri's words. And "the wrong 'View' person" does agree with her about evolution.
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Actually as a regular watcher since the first season, I think this is one of the best casts in a while. There are far more stars here than usual. Just because one is British and another is Cuban doesn't negate the fact that they are stars. The original show was made up of a few athletes, some singers and quite a few little known or has-been stars. This cast is getting back to the roots of Dancing With the Stars.



Oh and thank god there aren't any more stupid reality "stars." Seriously? Those people are not stars.
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How can you not know of Katherine Jenkins? Maybe it's just because I'm British...
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Worse than what Donald trots out for Celebrity Apprentice...?...no, not that bad but still bad.
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YUCK!! I watch this show every year and I hope they make up for their d-list status with good dancing. *sigh*
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Don't they always? B/c its always been has-beens and D-listers... remember season 1?
1
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Dont you think considering the audience for this show, that Jack Wagner should win. Based on you're own aforementioned reasons. Does milf heartthrob=votes?
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59 Grand Slam titles? C'mon, doubles don't count.
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HEY... I know... 4 of these people...
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Seriously Tim you need to find another job this cast is awesome, wait I minute your not old enough gonna watch for sure go Melissa
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Decent mix..... and it's Dr Peter Burns!!!!!! Now, where's Amanda when you need her?
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Someone hasn't seen Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol. :P That's re: Katherine Jenkins.
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katherine jenkins is actually still really fmous in the UK
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Glad i don't watch. Go, Gladys!
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Looking forward to the "Tango" and the "Jump the Shark" routines.
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And, you're a tv writer? Martina, Melissa Gilbert, "Urkel", Jack Wagner, Gladys Knight these are stars, and have all been on tv. Where have you been? This is their best cast in awhile.
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No no no no no, they WERE stars. They are pretty much unknowns now.
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Did you see the first season of DWTS? Obviously not, b/c if you had you'd know this is the unknowns/has beens become famous again show. So actually its going back to its roots. Thank god.
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Unknowns? Gavin DeGraw is a recent music star. Donald Driver won his SB ring just last year. Fegan is in a CURRENT Disney show. Melissa Gilbert has been very active in TV movies recently, as has Jack Wagner. Jenkins: Dr. Who. Gladys Knight is still touring. Menounos and Shepherd are currently working on their shows. Jaleel White was in "Dreamgirls" just a few years ago. The only one I don't have a clue about is Levy. And even if they all weren't, they almost all have had iconic roles, which puts them in the "star" category. Do you seriously think they can get someone like Sandra Bullock or Amy Adams or Christian Bale to do this show?
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Every season's cast has been underwhelming, why does this keep surprising people? Enjoy the has-beens and wanna-bes or not, your choice, but stop acting like you were expecting more from a show that has never even attempted to give it to you.
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Urkel, Urkel, Urkel!
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Katherine Jenkins is actually incredibly famous over here. Look her up. That girl can SING!!!



And I think you're mixing up Sherri Shepard with Elizabeth Hasselback.
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Roshon Fegan stars on a Disney show called "Shake It Up," that is all about dancing. Can you spell, R-I-N-G-E-R?
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Gavin Degraw is not a country singer.
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Tim McGraw...Gavin DeGraw. Same diff. ;-)
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EDITOR: You misspelled Navratilova's name in the bolded title part, missing the "l".



Anyway, you are so right, this is dancing with the has-beens and never-was'es. It's hard to believe there aren't people more famous than this willing to dance on national tv.
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It was always Dancing with the Has-Beens... if you'd watched all the seasons, you would know such things.
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Staff
fixed. thanks.
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Interesting line up, a decent mix
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It makes me glad I don't waste my time watching it. Why do I never recognize half of the people (okay, more than half, likely all, but they have that weird familiarity like I saw them in line at the grocery store and we did that nod hello).



Worst lineup announced? Well, let's be fair, isn't that like being the (no no, I can't say it, it isn't pc) ummm... the craziest person in the nuthouse? I mean, is that the honor you want to achieve?
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