Dancing with the Stars, The Chicago Code, and Castle

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What to watch on Monday, March 21.

Well, look at you! The weekend must have treated you right, because WOW. Naomi Campbell better call her lawyers, someone just stole her gig. Seriously, did you discover a fountain of youth or something? And you look anywhere from 10 to 45 pounds lighter than you did last week. Haha just kidding, you look about the same. But cheer up, because there's some good stuff on TV tonight:


8pm, CBS
How I Met Your Mother
Hey look, Barney's dad is John Lithgow! I sometimes forget that John Lithgow doesn't ALWAYS play murderers and that he's actually really funny. So yeah, tonight will be a momentous occasion, as Barney finally gets to meet his dad. Then afterward there will be a weird 30-minute remix of this episode but with different actors? I'm confused but enthusiastic!

SEASON 12 PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Dancing With the Stars
Man, if you thought Celebrity Apprentice was a pageant of sadness, check out tonight's twelfth (!) season premiere of Dancing With the Stars. Never before has the term "star" been used so loosely! Contestants include Kirstie Alley, Sugar Ray Leonard, Ralph Macchio, and Kendra Wilkinson. See what I mean? These stars are so bright our moms will have to wear sunglasses! With cute matching visors! From Talbot's!

9pm, Fox
The Chicago Code
Tensions arise when the FBI shows up and meddles in an investigation centering on a powerful drug lord. Also Jarek decides to spend some quality time with his ex-wife while his new lady plans their wedding. Awkward!

10pm, Fox
Castle
Jane Seymour guest-stars in tonight's oddball murder scenario, during which Castle helps investigate a murder on the set of a soap opera. Who will the murderer be?! I'll tell you: Probably whoever is initially suspected but then falsely exonerated at the beginning of Act 2. Do you know how I know? Writing! (Spoiler Alert)

10pm, CBS
Hawaii Five-0
Oh man, the nerds just can't catch a break. Tonight our favorite gang of popular beach hunks investigates the death of a sci-fi fan who gets thrown from a high-rise while dressed like a superhero. A.K.A. HIGH SCHOOL.


PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...

Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC
House, 8 p.m., Fox
Pretty Little Liars, Season finale, 8 p.m., ABC Family
Mad Love, 8:30 p.m., CBS
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, 9 p.m., Travel Channel
Being Human, 9 p.m., SyFy
Cake Boss, 9 p.m., TLC
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, 9 p.m., Food Network
Intervention, Season finale, 9 p.m., A&E;
The Bad Girls Club, 9 p.m., Oxygen
The Event, 9 p.m., NBC
Mike & Molly, 9:30 p.m., CBS
19 Kids and Counting, 10 p.m., TLC
All About Aubrey, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Bethenny Ever After, 10 p.m., Bravo
Harry's Law, 10 p.m., NBC
Heavy, 10 p.m., A&E;
Skins, Season finale, 10 p.m., MTV
Stargate Universe, 10 p.m., SyFy


What are you watching tonight?

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