Desperate Housewives Invades Our Teenage Dreams

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... Ever wonder what was going through my brain when I was 16 years old? Desperate Housewives has booked Heidi Klum and Paulina Porizkova for guest spots on the ABC hot-mama drama. They'll play themselves. Give me a break, it's a slow news day. [E! Online]

... This trend needs to end. Now. TLC has ordered a foodie reality series about a pair of ladies who run a cupcake business. Cupcakes are dumb trends, and shows about cupcakes are dumber trends. RESPECT THE DONUT! [THR]

... People still watch wrestling, I guess. The WWE is finally doing what it should have done years ago and is forming its own cable channel. Apparently the network wouldn't interfere with the WWE's programming on MyNetworkTV, and—really? People still watch wrestling? [Multichannel]

... Former The Hills star Lauren Conrad has written two books. I use the term "written" loosely here. And get this, her latest book is at the top of The New York Times bestseller list. Now if you'll all just follow me to Suicide Point... [People]

... Kate Winslet, who can do zero wrong in my book, has officially signed on to HBO's upcoming miniseries Mildred Pierce. I don't know what this is about, and I probably won't watch it, but Kate Winslet deserves to win an Emmy for this. [EW]

... Marsha Thomason has been upgraded to series regular on USA's White Collar, which everyone tells me is quite good. The big question is: Will she return to play Naomi in Lost? Do I have to bring everything back to Lost? Yes. [EW]

... SyFy has tapped Roger Corman to direct Sharktopus. How can that NOT be awesome? Sharktopus! It's half shark, half duck-billed platypus! Wait, it's half Octopus? Oh, that's just silly then. [io9]