It's October 27th and you still don't have a Halloween costume? Never fear, I've come up with several suggestions for quick-and-easy costumes that you can make yourself. As is the case with every great Halloween costume, the trick isn't to look the part. It's to act the part. Get the acting part down, and no one will second guess who you are.
The costume: The protagonist of NBC's psycho-sci-fi-conspiracy-thriller (played by Jason Ritter).
What you'll need: Black shirt, backpack, a laptop with some cool screensavers.
How to sell it: Run around frantically, stutter when you talk, and get into absolutely ridiculous situations that make no sense.
Extra credibility: Rock that junior high-school facial hair.
The costume: Glee's uppity glee club member with the platinum pipes.
What you'll need: Cute, conservative sweaters, schoolgirl skirts, OR dress like whatever stupid pop sensation is hot right now.
How to sell it: Sing. A lot. Sing some more. Seriously, just sing. And dance. Sing in people's faces. Right in their faces. Just sing as annoyingly as you can and draw all the attention to yourself when you aren't really that great at all.
Bonus: Take off the conservative sweater and schoolgirl skirt to reveal kiddie-porn panties for the GQ version!
The costume: The ABC sitcom's plucky little Lothario.
What you'll need: Little man clothes, a cappuccino cup, lots of cologne, bubble gum cigarettes.
How to sell it: Do that thing where you walk around on your knees and put shoes on your kneecaps. Hit on every single thing on two legs.
Bonus: If you swap out cappuccino for expensive Scotch, it also doubles as a mini Charlie Sheen!
The costume: The reality hit's most famous Guidette.
What you'll need: High heels, hair spray, orange spray paint, jar of pickles.
How to sell it: Spray entire body orange, rub face in pickle juice. Drink a liter of rum. Why be subtle? Just go around licking everyone in sight.
Don't have time?: No time to get the costume? Just roll around in the mud and squeal!
The costume: Budding movie star from HBO's series.
What you'll need: Unless you have luscious curly hair, a wig. Tight T-shirts and unnecessarily expensive casual clothes are a plus, too.
How to sell it: Act real douchey and do the same thing you did the years before, only slightly different. "Oh no, I'm not going to be in the movie! Oh look, I'm in the movie! I'm dating some hot chick! Oh no, I can't do the movie!" Overstay your welcome by six seasons. Repeat until everyone is ready to puke.
The costume: The character drama's debonair lead.
What you'll need: An old suit, overbloated sense of self-worth.
How to sell it: Obviously a drink and a cigarette. Give a stern, "dramatic" stare at anything small that happens, but make sure nothing really interesting happens. Relish the attention you get from people who think you are so great.
Warning: If you happen to stay in character all night, it will be the most boring night of your life. But everyone else will think it's soooooo awesome.
Disclaimer: I hate Mad Men.
The costume: The adorable older lady of Golden Girls fame and guest star on every single TV show these days.
What you'll need: Your standard old lady costume--a wig, wrinkles, prune juice.
How to sell it: You'll need to find groups of people who have all worked together to come up with a "team costume." Once you find them, just join 'em for a bit and say things an old lady would never say, such as, "You go girl!" Or "Party at my crib!" Or "Who wants to see my vajayjay?" After 30 minutes, find another group to be exploited by.
Any of the writers
The costume: Any of the producers, writers, or creators of the NBC show about a call center in India.
What you'll need: A Ku Klux Klan uniform. (zing!)
Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom