Elementary Review: The Seven Deadly Sins of "One Way to Get Off"

Elementary S01E07: "One Way to Get Off"

First things first: While we did see bees, they were not in Sherlock's house/under Sherlock's care, so no cokes this week. BUT it's looking more promising that cokes may appear on the horizion, in the form of bees under Sherlock's care. So don't give up, thirsty Elementary fans.

As for the show, I'm sorry, but I found this week's episode absolutely abysmal. To wit:

1. Once again, Watson and Sherlock were divided for an episode. Ostensibly because Sherlock was giving Watson the cold shoulder after she dared to confront him about Irene. Holmes reset to his resentment and distrust of Watson, telling her he would never share personal experiences with her because he didn't want to cheapen his memories by "allowing them to become grist for your tedious recovery mill."

Hopefully the writers heard the revelation about their own writing that seeped into that line. The recovery jargon Watson keeps spouting is sounding hollow and repetitive these days, you'd think seven episodes in there would be a personal investment beyond sober-buddy responsibility between these two fated BFFs.

2. Talk about a hatchet job on the NYPD. They've gone from criminally negligent to just plain criminal, with a cop planting evidence at a crime scene to send a murderer to jail, and then that "worked out" because luckily the guy was actually guilty this time. Also it defies even my blunt, broken instrument of deduction that Cap'n Gregson wouldn't recognize one of the station's own mugs when cataloguing evidence at a crime scene back in the '90s. Even if the NYPD has random mugs coming in and going out of the station kitchen so fast that they can't keep track of them all, that was a weirdly distinctive mug and wouldn't Aidan have noticed that the key piece of evidence was also the vessel of coffee he had PERSONALLY HANDED to the serial killer during interrogation? (With like, maybe his OWN fingerprints on it?) He should have retired at the end of this episode, period. He is a bad police guy! He did not seem that interested in solving crime!

3. Part of why Cap'n Gregson is now officially the worst police chief ever is that he refused to listen to Sherlock. The writers tried to sidestep this issue by implying that Gregson's distrust of Sherlock was built on his own ego/fear for his career/denial that his partner could have planted evidence. But still, if we're going to have to go through cops putting their hands on their hips and screaming, "Who is this guy? Get him out of here!" in every episode, I will lose my mind. Sherlock has solved their last six significant crimes more or less on his lonesome. He should have a modicum of credibility no matter how crazy the things he he says are.

4. There was a desperation to keep this week visually interesting that manifested in kind of awful ways. The crime scene was grotesque, and once again how are those extras supposed to put this on their reels? A pillow over the face doesn't play well on a reel.

Then we had the tangential sex dungeon that Holmes found on a hunch, a freaking SEX SLAVE subplot that was used to clear the biggest suspect. Um, this would have actually been a fascinating whole episode, as sex slaves are a very real thing around the world and rarely get the attention/awareness they deserve, but no, it was titillating window dressing.

And of course there was Sherlock popping into a police interrogation room and throwing a ball or an orange or something into a suspect's face while screaming "THINK FAST!" to prove a point. Sometimes this show is like a Simpsons version of a detective show, like some parody of how ridiculous a brilliant detective's methodology can get in the hands of careless writers. Of course Sherlock Holmes needs to bolt into a room and throw an orange in a man's face. Such is the nature of careful observation.

5. So a dreamy teen was seduced/trained by a psychopathic killer to continue his serial murdering? What does that remind me of? What TV plot have I seen recently that Elementary is homaging or ripping off? Oh yes, Elementary did basically this exact plot a couple week ago in "Child Predator." After last week's intricate Fabregé egg of a mystery plot, the show reverted to a story it's already told. Disappointing.

6. Watson creeped up on Sherlock's old recovery home, talked trash on him with his old counselors and psychiatrists (who apparently could give two sh-ts about doctor-patient confidentiality), and came home with a big bundle of letters to righteously turn them over to Sherlock. Um, Thanks?

"Thanks for hunting down a bunch of super personal stuff bout me and then making a show about how you're not going to invade my privacy. You kind of already did by finding this stuff in the first place." Also, girl was eating smoothies in every scene this episode. Is she on an all-liquid diet or are they trying to insinuate she has her own addictions? Wheat grass, probiotic addictions?

7. Finally, and this made me furious, Irene Adler had better have faked her death. Because if the show is going to drop a name bomb like that and then instantly dismiss it into flashbacks, that's a wasted opportunity and just plain rude. I want Rachel Weisz, dressed like a raver, on my screen yesterday. So Sherlock had better either be lying to Watson (cringe) or Irene better have done what a good adventuress does and faked her death so she can reappear quite shortly, or else I will truly let this show have it.


1. Irene Adler: still alive, right?

2. Is Watson technically doing more sophisticated deduction work than Sherlock?

3. Can someone explain to me why the guy with depth perception issues was even a suspect? For the life of me I could not follow that thread.

4. What did you think of this episode?

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