We've already revealed our 10 most anticipated new series of the fall TV season, but that doesn't really tell you which ones are most likely to leave you feeling paranoid, or which ones are most likely to offend you with their blatant misuse of wigs and/or facial hair. So, because the TV.com staff is nothing if not committed to keeping you informed, we locked ourselves in a room to debate the topics that REALLY matter with regard to the new fall shows. And with that, we are pleased to present to you the inaugural TV.com Fall TV First Impression Awards!
Best New Old Character: Oswald "The Penguin" Cobblepot (Gotham)
He may be one of the only things Gotham has going for it.
Best Wig: Karen Gillan (Selfie)
The actress shaved off her beautiful ginger locks for her role in Guardians of the Galaxy, and even though she's still got a ways to go in growing them out, we wouldn't have identified this as a wig if we hadn't known.
Worst Beard: Jake McDorman (Manhattan Love Story)
Just say no to bad scruff.
Most Creative Use of Nudity: Forever
Every time Ioan Gruffudd's immortal character dies and comes back to life, he wakes up naked. AS YOU DO.
Most Likely to Fill the Happy Endings-Shaped Hole in Our Hearts: Marry Me
We're going out on a limb here with our guess that this might have something to do with the fact that Marry Me stars Casey Wilson (Happy Endings' Penny) and was created by her husband, David Caspe, who also created Happy Endings.
Most Surprisingly Likable Kid Characters: Red Band Society
While watching the pilot, we didn't want to punch them ONCE.
Best "Hey, That Guy Was in Harry Potter!" Surprise: Alfred Enoch (How to Get Away With Murder)
He played Dean Thomas, in case you're not good with faces/a disgrace to humankind.
Best Show With a Bad Title: Jane the Virgin
Seriously, though. Trust us!
Best Crazy Eyes: Ben McKenzie (Gotham)
"You know what I like about Gotham City? NOTHING."
Most Likely to Suffer Extreme Chafing: Grant Gustin (The Flash)
You just know that suit rides up.
Most Dated Sitcom: The McCarthys
It's not set in the '90s, but it sure feels like it is.
Most Likely to Scare You Out of Ever Leaving Your House Again: Stalker
Everyone on it is a psycho, basically.
Best Reason to Cut Off Your Nipple: A to Z
That's what Ben Feldman did to get his own show, because in some cultures, it's considered a loving gesture!
Most Annoyingly Held Until the Midseason: Battle Creek
The fact that Battle Creek ISN'T a new fall show is exactly what earned it this award: The latest project from Vince Gilligan (Breaking Bad) and David Shore (House), it's better than most of the other shows that are coming down the pike.
Most Believable Onscreen Career for a Kathe/arine: Katharine McPhee as a waitress with a genius son (Scorpion)
But how will they work in a musical episode?
Least Believable Onscreen Career for a Kathe/arine: Katherine Heigl as a CIA attaché (State of Affairs)
Maybe doing all those romantic comedies wasn't the best idea after all, yeah?
TV.com's 2014 Fall Preview:
New Shows, Network Schedules, Trailers, and More