February Sweeps

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ABC

The Alphabet comes on strong with the Super Bowl and then attempts to make a run for the end zone with its offensive line of hit shows.

Super Bowl XL "kicks off" the sweeps period this month. In case you haven't heard, it's Sunday, February 5, at 6:15 p.m.

After the big game, Grey's Anatomy has a new episode featuring big celebrity Christina Ricci. Ricci checks in Sunday, February 5, at 10:15 p.m.

Lost returns with a new episode wherein Sun gets attacked by an unknown assailant, and the castaways wonder if "The Others" might be walking among them. Wednesday, February 8, 9 p.m.

On Desperate Housewives, Tom starts his new job...with Lynette as his boss. Also, Bree investigates Betty's house in the episode "Silly People." Sunday, February 12, at 9 p.m.

The Bachelor in Paris will reveal who his remaining two women are. The French can hardly wait. Monday, February 27, at 9 p.m.

Commander in Chief is on hiatus. Like most presidents, she is probably playing golf somewhere.

NBC

NBC is working hard to make some new Friends. This season, there have been signs of life in its once-powerful Thursdays.

Perhaps you have heard of a little thing called The Olympics? It starts February 10 and continues for 16 days. Check back here at TV.com for constant updates. We'll take the gold.

Surface features a giant tsunami attacking North Carolina. TV drama equals tragedy plus a few months. Monday, February 7, at 9 p.m.

Saturday Night Live tries to recapture some of its mojo with Steve Martin and musical guest Prince. Saturday, February 4, 11:30 p.m.

Deal or No Deal is back for more high-profit-margin fun on Monday, February 27.

Donald gets moved to Monday night as The Apprentice returns with its fifth season, now set in LA. The Los Angeles setting will finally allow the scummiest players to be rewarded. Monday, February 27, at 9 p.m.

Gladiator star Connie Nielsen guests for a six-episode story arc on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit on Tuesdays at 10 p.m.

CBS

CBS will do its best to stay number one, although Survivor's season premiere must have brought a tear to the Eye.

The 48th Annual Grammys will have Madonna performing with equally cartoonish Gorillaz. Wednesday, February 8, at 8 p.m.

Survivor returns in time for sweeps, with a premiere that was off 23 percent from last season. Are people tiring of seeing creepy things eaten by weirdos? Thursdays at 8 p.m.

CSI airs an episode titled "Pirates of the Third Reich." Like Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp, did Hitler base his character on Keith Richards? Thursday, February 9, at 9 p.m.

In Courting Alex, Alex wants to disprove the notion that she breaks up with guys for silly reasons. How Seinfeld of her. Monday, February 6, at 9:30 p.m.

Singer James Blunt stops by Love Monkey to give Tom some "Confidence." Tuesday, February 7, at 10 p.m.

Ashley Williams, late of Good Morning Miami, guest-stars as Victoria, Ted's new love interest on How I Met Your Mother. Monday, February 7, 8:30 p.m.

Dr. Phil has an important prime-time special, Love Smart, wherein he counsels Paula Abdul about her love life. It's a can of worms, doc! Tuesday, February 14.

Fox

Fox has a lot of powerhouse shows lined up, plus the titan American Idol.

Strap yourselves in: 24 has all-new episodes in February. Throughout them all, President Logan will remain a total dweeb. Mondays at 9 p.m.

Arrested Development goes out with a snark in a four-episode orgy starring William Hung, Judge Reinhold, and Justine Batemen. Even Judge Reinhold can't save this show? Friday, February 10, at 8 p.m.

Three all-new episodes of Skating With Celebrities will feature skating, celebrities, and ice. Monday, February 6, 13, and 27, at 8 p.m.

The Bernie Mac Show celebrates its 100th episode. Finally, the creators can start making some real money from syndication. Friday, February 3, at 8 p.m.

Dr. House treats a teenage supermodel. Why is this guy so grouchy? Monday, February 20, at 8:00 p.m.

Mary Tyler Moore shows up on That 70s Show as the series counts down to its finale. Thursday, February 9, at 8 p.m.

On The O.C., tragic news hangs over Valentine's Day in the second half of a cliffhanger. Thursday, February 9, at 9 p.m.

Good taste prohibits us from mentioning that The War at Home airs a special Tuesday-night episode on Tuesday, February 28, at 9:30 p.m. You've been warned.

The WB/UPN

This will be the last sweeps for either of these nets. Next fall, we'll get to crack wise about the CW's schedule!

UPN

America's Next Top Model: Where the Girls Are sounds extremely awesome. Who cares what it's about. Wednesday, March 1, at 8 p.m.

Kristin Cavallari stars in the new reality show Get This Party Started, about party planners. Tuesday, February 7, at 9 p.m.

Cavalleri also plays a gay cheerleader on UPN's Veronica Mars. Wednesdays at 9 p.m.

The WB

Lorelei is mad at Luke because Luke is mean to Logan, but then Luke learns a lesson about love on a very special Valentine's Day Gilmore Girls. Tuesday, February 14, at 8 p.m.

Beauty and the Geek features a trip to Las Vegas and a game of strip poker. Hopefully, the geeks win. Thursday, February 9, at 9 p.m.

Rockers Fall Out Boy shake things up when they climb onto One Tree Hill and spew a few hot licks from their axes. Wednesday, February 15, at 8 p.m.

On the ascendant Smallville, Clark helps DC Comics character Cyborg escape the control of Luthercorp. It's always good to see comic book storylines on this show. Thursday, February 16, at 8 p.m.

Art imitates life on Twins when Nick Lachey guest-stars as a model who feels he has trouble being taken seriously. Friday, February 24.

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