April showers are so WTF. May flowers, on the other hand, are totally FTW. Tax Day was a big W-T-F. But International Headband Week (seriously, it's on Wikipedia!) is F!T!W! Easter is very WTF once you know where all the Easter eggs are, but Cinco de Mayo es el FTW all day because of bottomless margaritas. Okay, May 6 may not be that fun because of all those margaritas, but you get our point: April is behind us now. It's May, and that is so FTW. Also, here's what we liked and didn't like about the last seven days in television.
SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't finished watching the latest episode of Orphan Black, "Mingling Its Own Nature With It"—or any of this week's new episodes (of Game of Thrones, The Following, etc.), for that matter—we suggest that you hold off on reading this story until you do.
Game of Thrones shows off its baby blues
"Oathkeeper" set things into motion for the rest of the series, including the biggest surprise it's ever thrown at us: a huge deviation from the books! Haha, suck it, book readers! You were just as shocked as we were when the White Walkers grabbed an infant and turned it into one of them. With this turn of events, the page-turning folks in the room can't lord their knowledge of the series over those who only watch the show, and maybe for once they'll be the star of one of those Game of Thrones reaction videos.
Hey have you seen Jonah's viral?!?
Veep gave Silicon Valley a run for its money this week as Selena and her team traveled to Palo Alto for a meeting with Clovis, a
giant tech company "kindergarten for cyber-brats" led by a bug-eyed, 26-year-old billionaire and his hilariously weird "finance-y Nancy" CFO. There were too many highlights to list here—from all the "Smartch" hijinks to Mike falling off an exercise ball—but the crown jewel was Ryantology's pair of "virals," which almost earned Jonah a $4 million buyout. What a pile of elbows that guy is. Sorry you got f*cked by Dan's face, dude. (No we're not.)
Jim Gaffigan is Obsessed
Comedy Central has been on fire lately, from the debut of Dave Attell's uncensored "Comedy Underground" to a great second season of "Inside Amy Schumer" to its newly minted iOS app that contains free full eps. The network continued the trend this week with Jim Gaffigan's new one-hour standup special, which quickly became its most-watched standup special since 2013. And with good reason: It was effing hilarious. Gaffigan shelled out indispensable advice on donuts, marriage, drinking, and not wanting to smell. Fried bread, anyone?
Emma Stone's glorious lip-sync battle on The Tonight Show
Between Blues Traveler's "Hook" and DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win," the actress showed impressive range while mopping the floor with Fallon in the best one of these match-ups to date.
Trophy Wife's Warren takes advantage of Title IX
In response to Kate's urging that he try to make some new friends, Warren decided to join a sports team at his school, and he chose... field hockey. As in women's field hockey, which allowed him to wear a skirt with pride, hang out with Ken Marino, and recite the "chicks with sticks" cheer. In a show with a fantastic ensemble cast, it's Warren who's our surprise favorite. (Sorry, Bert.) Also: Jackie's blacklight art lesson for Hilary! The couch looks so much better now! Good stuff.
May the Fourth be with The Big Bang Theory
"The Proton Transmogrification" hit us (and Sheldon) in the heart with the death of Sheldon's childhood idol, Bob Newhart's Professor Proton. But the episode also took an honest and thoughtful look at the mechanics of mourning... while also providing plenty of spot-on Star Wars references, including a Death Star cake, the obligatory Jar Jar bashing, and an Obi-Wan Kenobi dream sequence. Huzzah.
HBO fast-tracks a Project Greenlight reboot and gives The Comeback a comeback
Suddenly, the pay cable network is in the business of resurrecting notable projects from the early and mid-aughts, including a reboot of its amateur film competition Project Greenlight—and get this, original stars Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are on board for another around! Pretty nifty! The network also plans to do another season of the much beloved and kinda-before-its-time Lisa Kudrow comedy The Comeback. Now if only it could get something new going for Deadwood...
Animal Planet joins the Animalsploitation fray
Blood Lake—from the creators of Sharknado, of course—stars Shannen Doherty and Christopher Lloyd as people who are trying to save a town from killer lampreys. So stupid. (And we can't wait to watch it.)
Once Upon a Time is breaking hearts all over the place
The entire fandom was united in screaming "WTF?" when it was revealed this week that Snow White had cast the Dark Curse the second time by personally crushing Prince Charming's heart. And then she had Regina split her heart in half like it was one of those "Best Friend" necklaces from middle school, so she could have one half in her own chest and donate the other to her hubby. Yes, they now literally share a heart. Aside from the fever-dream logic involved, this seriously retconned a major part of the series premise: that Rumple had carefully orchestrated people and events for years so that Regina would cast the Dark Curse the first time. Turns out anyone with a list of ingredients can do it, just like Rice Krispie Treats.
The Following is going to end Season 2 whichever way it wants so suck it
Attention all those people who've been thinking about watching The Following but feel overwhelmed because you've fallen behind on the show: It turns out you really don't need to watch all fifteen episodes of Season 2. The only ones you need are, like, the first two and then the last one. Everything else was just filler, because the writers just wanted to jam in the opportunity for a Hardy/Carroll buddy cop moment. The cult diaspora, the Claire death thing from Season 1, the mole in the FBI, the new cult—they were all completely fluff by the end. All anyone really needs to know going into Season 3 is that the twins be crazy, and Claire will demand that you drop everything you're doing in order to save her. Honestly, three episodes and the idea you already had that Claire isn't dead and you're good. Do you still want to catch up?
The backdoor pilot for Supernatural: Bloodlines was so bad, guys
First there was the blatant disregard for the source material's mythology (shapeshifters are supposed to be gross, not sexy, dammit!). Then there was the atrocious acting. And then there was the fact that the plot is interchangeable with literally every other show on The CW except for Supernatural. Of course, it didn't help that the very nature of a backdoor pilot necessitates holding an audience hostage for an hour; the decision to interrupt our regularly scheduled Winchester-ing right in them middle of some heated end-of-season shenanigans only made situation worse. Please, somebody stick a silver bullet in its heart before a show we actually like ends up canceled to make room for this garbage in the fall.
CSI's lame take on tech
Speaking of backdoor pilots, the planted debut of CBS's proposed CSI: Cyber spin-off aired on Wednesday night, and it featured all the lazy computer animation we've come to expect from the show—except this time, we flew through a computer!!! And the "big" case involved a computer-animated cam girl who seduced men into making their own sex tapes with a virus that switched on a two-way webcam. Ummm, no thanks, we'll pass.
First we lose The Colbert Report, and now we're losing Craig Ferguson?
We're going to miss the hilarious Scotsman when he leaves the late-night game in December. And what will become of Geoff and Secretariat?
The Prolethians are whack on Orphan Black
Last week, after kidnapping a recovering Helena from the hospital, the Proletheans killed Tomas. And while we're not too sad about losing that jerk, they're not proving to be much better. In this week's "Mingling Its Own Nature With It," Henrik married Helena in order to do God's work—which apparently means knocking her up. Um. Nope. Gross. Stop. Helena is in no way physically or mentally prepared for what's about to happen to her. Here's hoping Art saves the day at the last minute!
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week? The finales of Vikings, Review, Portlandia, and Sirens? Dr. Burke's return to Grey's Anatomy? The debut of Last Week Tonight With John Oliver on HBO? Share your own FTWs and WTFs in the comments!