How did your Valentine's Day go? Did you spend it in the arms of your one true soulmate while watching The Notebook in a couple's Snuggle? Or did you curse the Hallmark holiday over a bowl of chicken wings, chocolate chip cookie dough, and freshly squeezed tears? Either way, just know that we here at TV.com will always love you. We'll love as you read our articles. We'll love you as you contribute to our growing show communities. We'll love you even when you aren't on TV.com. We'll love you even as you read those other TV sites. We'll love you as we watch you sleep. We'll love you as we're hauled away by the police. We'll love you as we're doing five years for criminal stalking. We'll always love you. ALWAYS. Also, here's what we liked and didn't like about the last seven days in television.
"Geez. Did I just get shown up by Cinnamon Bun?" Yes, you did, Finn.
Finn's been struggling to get over Flame Princess on Adventure Time,
but she's been handling running the Fire Kingdom just fine... or at least that was the case until a
coup was staged on all sides of her and she had to turn to Finn for help
in this week's "The Red Throne." But it turned out that she needn't have bothered since
Cinnamon Bun—the goof of the Candy Kingdom—has found new purpose and
confidence as FP's faithful and loving retainer after some much-needed
baking. It was CB who put up his dukes and took out the turncoat guards;
it was CB who, riding Jake 2 (a fire wolf), rescued Finn and CB from
the dungeon; and it was CB who, with a rousing speech, broke the mind-control spell that was influencing the subjects of the Flame Kingdom.
Like it did with the Ice King, Adventure Time proved it can find new depths for even its most seemingly one-note characters.
Curling is back on national TV!
Yeah! Hard! Haaaard! Sweeeeeeep! No! Whoa! Whoa! Huuuurry hard! Also: Norway's pants are awesome. (Seriously. It's pretty much the only thing some of us have watched all week.)
The Callie/Brandon insanity is (hopefully? seemingly? finally?) over on The Fosters
The big dramatic push in the second half of The Fosters' first season has
focused on Callie in the group home and her forbidden love with Brandon, and
it's been mind-numbingly stupid. Brandon, who in the past was generally smart and
semi-considerate, became an angsty "BUT WE'RE IN LOVE!" teen
stereotype who was doing everything in his power to make Callie's life
more difficult. Callie being Callie is interesting, and she's been an asset to the show, but roping Brandon into her mess has
dragged things down a bit. Thankfully, all the ridiculousness appears to be over, as
Brandon and Callie have both realized that Callie needs a family that
loves her and can help her, and if that means she and Brandon can't make
kissy faces any more, well, it's what's best for Callie. And the
Crucifictorious invaded Parenthood and our hearts
We raised an eyebrow at the idea of a Parenthood/Friday Night Lights crossover when it was announced early in the week, but after watching the entire web series featuring Crucifictorious recording at the Luncheonette (with an appearance by everyone's second
favorite Riggins), we are most definitely on board. Sure, our brains
are still mushy after trying to figure out the logistics of it all (and
because Mindy kicked Billy out of the house!), but that final image with
Texas Forever spray-painted on the doors of the studio had us quite
verklempt. Texas forever indeed.
True Detective does it in one go
HBO's Southern Gothic spectacular finished its 4-Episode Test™ with one of television's greatest scenes ever (yes, for real, EVER), a six-minute one-shot epic that brought viewers into the depths of the Louisiana projects while a war broke out between bikers, gang bangers, and cops. It's a safe bet that you won't see anything better on television for the rest of the year.
Jeri Ryan infects Helix with hardassness
On Friday, Seven of Nine started her guest-starring run on Syfy's weirdo thriller as Constance Sutton, a corporate goon sent to survey Arctic Biosystems' progress, and she immediately gave the series a nice kick in the butt. Tough and mysterious, we expect her character to put just the right amount of pressure on everyone else to elicit the spilling of secrets.
Nathan For You's Nathan Fielder trolls everyone with Dumb Starbucks
Part performance piece, part dumb comedy prank, the "Dumb Starbucks" store that popped up in L.A.'s trendy Los Feliz neighborhood had everyone talking and wondering not only who opened it, but WHY he opened it. Several days later, the mystery proprietor revealed himself to be the host of Comedy Central's subversive and brilliant Nathan For You. We still don't know why he did it, but we're glad he did. And so is Comedy Central; the network just put all of Nathan For You's first season online for free.
Winning @Midnight's hashtag war
"I'm famous! I'm famous! Nothing but fast cars and faster women from here on out!" said our own Tim Surette after his tweet was featured on Comedy Central's web-savvy show... and just before cleaning out his cats' litter box.
The CW's early renewals
Hey, The CW renewed a bunch of stuff you knew it would renew, plus Reign! At this point, we expect that Supernatural will
be on the air until Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are senior citizens. But
with a couple of high-profile pilots in the works (a series about The Flash and a Supernatural spin-off, to name two) and only a few spots open on the schedule in general, we were pleased to see this early display of faith.
No sleep makes The Big Sleep for Pretty Little Liars' Spencer Hastings
Spencer has always toed the line between mad genius and batcrap craziness, but a days-long bender full of Adderall and binging on Alison's diary, not to mention the fact that no teenager in Rosewood seems to ever watch a movie made before 1957, provided the perfect opportunity for a gimmick episode where she dreamed in film noir. Some characters fit the era (Spencer, Hanna), some were over-the-top (whoa, Toby) but, overall, it was nice to see the production department flex some muscle and create a beautifully shot and wonderfully crafted episode. Sure, it didn't get us anywhere in the story, but neither does any musical episode of any series and they keep making those, right?
Sesame Street has gifted us with Flappy Bert
The kids' show's parodies know no bounds. Flappy Bird may be gone forever, but who cares now that we've got Flappy Bert? ERNIE!!
Bob Costas's eyes
The face of NBC's Winter Olympics coverage caught a case of the nasty when a viral infection turned one of Bob Costas's eyes into a hot pink mess. But Bob persevered as long as he could, allowing us to follow the spread of the infection into his other eye. By the time he decided enough was enough, it looked like he'd been watching the beginning of Up on repeat—or somehow transformed into that thing Tetsuo becomes in Akira. We feel bad that the guy had to relinquish his hosting duties for the first time in decades, but gross is gross. And of course, if you find yourself missing his pinkeye-afflicted peepers, you can always follow 'em on Twitter.
House of Cards comes out shoving
There's a lot of dumb, self-serious stuff in House of Cards, but the Season 2 premiere of Netflix's political thriller pulled few punches and wasted no time adding some shock to its brand-new season when it [SPOILER REDACTED]. It's a little too early to discuss exactly what happened in this space (Season 2 debuted on Friday; read Cory's review here!), but we're left wondering if the surprise that we didn't see coming was worth the tradeoff for show's future.
New Girl's sister act
Linda Cardellini guest-starred as Jess's wayward sister Abby, and landed at the loft after Jess bailed her out of jail. Her extended stay was met with some mixed responses, both in the loft and among the audience, but Cardellini is awesome, and despite being the hottest of messes, Abby is a character with a lot of potential. Here's hoping the next episode, "Sister II," brings it home.
Comcast bought Time Warner Cable and we're all in trouble
It's only been a few days and the bad customer service jokes are
already old. BUT the Comcast-Time Warner Cable deal, which is likely to
gain government approval, is a substantial bummer. Oligopoly, here we come!
Everyone who said Netflix should release House of Cards early because it was snowing
What's next, should Netflix come over to your house and make you a cup of hot cocoa?
The Walking Dead's Carl fought a door and lost
Black Sails spent an hour swabbing the poop deck
At first, we were totally into the idea of a pirate series that covered all the aspects of pirate life, even if it meant spending a substantial amount of time on land. But this is just getting ridiculous.
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week?