Do you think TVs get paranoid about being watched all the time? Are they embarrassed that they get turned on so easily? Do they do everything they can to change the channel when someone starts watching Honey Boo Boo? Do old CRT-tube sets have body-image problems? Do TVs outfitted with cable feel like they're on a leash? Do TVs mounted on walls feel like they're being crucified? Do TVs like being hugged? We don't know the answer to most of those questions, but we're betting they do like being hugged. So go give your TV a hug, it works for you.
Anyway, here's what made us proud of our TVs for this week. And what didn't.
Funny or Die's "I can't believe these are all TV Shows" song
[Blank] Wives, [Blank] Stars, [Blank] Wars... all known permutations of basic-cable reality shows are giving the finger here, and they deserve it. If Wife Star Wars ever gets made, the genre will officially be sucked into a black hole from which it can never return.
Another wacky, lovely Parks and Rec wedding
One thing this show excels at above all else is loving love. Leslie and Ben's nuptials were a perfect match for the pair, and the episode overall was a fine specimen of Parks and Rec's trademark balance of kooky and sweet. It's almost too bad the series will soon be out of couples to marry off. We love you and we like you, show!
Person of Interest changes up the program
The CBS sorta-procedural continued to defy humdrum expectations with a new creative twist in this week's episode, which was written by creator Jonathan Nolan. The hour changed perspective by focusing things on the POI's point of view, and she just so happened to be the extra-hot Sarah Shahi playing a very badass covert op.
Mike Royce's vanity cards, all in one place
The Men of a Certain Age creator and 1600 Penn showrunner has collected all his vanity cards (which are family photos) in one handy-dandy place, complete with revealing captions about their meanings. Take a look and be entertained. Or take the opportunity to steal his identity, your call.
Downton Abbey as explained by Facebook
Game of Thrones' Season 2 Blu-ray set
It looks gorgeous, put it on your book shelf and it will blend right in. But it's also full of great commentaries, including Lena Headey's continued assessment that she's a horse-faced terrible person who can't act in the episode "Blackwater." All Peter Dinklage could do was laugh at her while she tore herself a new one. Great, funny, candid chatter by the woman who plays ice queen Cersei.
The network's new drama Cult may be totally insane (and we don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet), but we do know that The CW's logo is all over the place in both the show and the show-within-the-show. And sometimes, when everything aligns just right, we get INCWPTION with the network's logos in the lower righthand corner, one on the real broadcast and one in the broadcast-within-the-broadcast!
Portlandia's three hipster mice
Friday's episode, "No-Fo-O-Fo-Bridge" spent some quality time with the show's recurring trio of stop-motion-animated rodents as they dealt with the stress of moving because gentrification—and the ensuing lack of litter/garbage for them to eat—was pushing them out of their downtown digs. So good! And we'd totally watch a rat-centric Portlandia spinoff, IFC.
Suits' rumpled Season 2 finale
After an impressive start, the final six episodes of Suits sophomore season felt tacked-on, and the the finale itself was a muddled mess of too many storylines and too many shocking turns that weren't actually all that shocking. Sadface.
A Bachelor bro ruins his sister's chance at love
Desiree's skeptical jerk of a sibling refused to play nice during this week's hometown dates, so Sean sent her packing because would you want that guy as a brother-in-law? THIS WAS GOING TO BE TRUE LOVE, GUYS!
Even Univision beat NBC in February Sweeps
Remember all those "NBC is back!" stories last fall? Yeah... those were a little premature. Turns out people like two things: NFL football and unresolved romantic tension between Adam Levine and Blake Shelton. As for everything else on the network? No thanks, says America. On the bright side, this almost guarantees that we'll get more Parks and Recreation and Parenthood.
The uneasy feeling that this may be Enlightened's last season
Campaigns to save HBO's quiet show are starting to mount on social-media sites, scaring the sh*t out of us. Despite getting better ratings in Season 2, the dramedy is unfortunately on the block. "This is my favorite show on TV right now," said Tim, who usually hates everything. We're hoping HBO does the right thing and orders a third season of this brilliant series, and we're ready to go to war for it. #theghostisseen
The Good Wife leans a little too heavily on quirk to resolve a muddled plot
The Good Wife has had issues with its smaller stories this season, and the DoJ investigation into Eli's campaign finance shenanigans has been no exception. It's been messy from the start, and while a glimmer of hope arrived in the form of Elsbeth defending Eli from Wendy Scott-Carr, "Red Team/Blue Team" turned the DoJ investigation—something you'd think would be serious—into a sitcom, with a quirkily malicious Kyle MacLachlan replacing Anika Noni Rose's Scott-Carr and a double-twist wiretapping to resolve the story. If we had to guess, we'd bet that only the Nick plot got less time from the writers room. Ugh. Nick.