Unless you live in Australia or on Mercury, IT'S COLD OUT! Our advice: Print ten copies of this page, set nine of them on fire, and read the last one while you curl up by the flames. It may not be environmentally friendly, but it's the environment's fault for not being warm in the first place. Your move, environment! Can you tell that the intros to these weekly wrap-ups are getting weirder and weirder? Do you even read these intros or do you just skip to the list below? Let us know in the comments otherwise we'll just start putting random words and letters in here to save us all some trouble. Anyway, here's some good things and bad things we noticed this week in the world of television!
30 Rock's penultimate episode
"A Goon's Deed in a Weary World" set Liz free to have a personal life as the cast and crew of TGS finally did something selfless for once, and then she ended up adopting 8-year-old versions of Tracy and Jenna—which, as Liz noted, "seemed about right." And with only one episode left to go, Kenneth is now running NBC, just as Jack predicted he would waaaay back in Season 1 (it was either that, or they'd all be dead by Kenneth's hand); Kenneth's full-body hug and Jack's staring-out-the-window-while-drinking-Scotch was pretty amazing. Also: "I mean, the monkey was funny, dammit!"
Let's Go LARPing With the Winchesters!
Felicia Day returned to Supernatural when a very real threat began terrorizing the subjects of her pretend kingdom, Moondoor. Fairies, gore, and Dean Winchester quoting Braveheart armed with a foam sword and a wig—what more could you want on a Wednesday night?
Burning Love burns again
Yahoo's Burning Love web series has a Season 2 trailer, this time trading bachelor Ken Marino for bachelorette June Diane Raphael and an impressive collection of suitors. We'll be looking forward to another Party Down reunion with Adam Scott, Ryan Hansen, and Martin Starr. Plus Michael Cera, Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, Jerry O'Connell, Colin Hanks, and potentially various Nick Kroll characters to remind you he has a show now. And speaking of that show...
The intertwining reality of Kroll Show
Comedy Central's new sketch show is doing a thing. And that thing involves spinning off reality show parodies from other reality show parodies that will whirl in a mobius strip of insanity for the entire season. In week one, a pair of bimbo publicists were featured in PubLIZity as they held a fundraiser for dogs with cancer and hired an animal plastic surgeon named Dr. Ormond. In week two, Dr. Ormond got his own family docu-drama Ormond of the House, which also introduced us to his hilariously hellraising son Roman. Will week three feature the weed-smoking basketball tutor from Craigslist?
Puppy Bowl's Puppy Cam
Like Hard Knocks, but with baby dogs.
While we usually favor Drunk Nick episodes of New Girl, Julius Pepperwood from Chicago come back whenever he wants. "Thin crust pizza? No, thanks. I'm from Chicago." We'd also drop everything to read his zombie detective series in a heartbeat! Or a brainssss-beat. What?
Americans' taste in television offers a literal translation of what they like IRL
On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert did a nice little segment about the meaning of a recent "the popularity of Downton Abbey means America loves rich people" argument, as other buzzworthy TV series are concerned. Simple but funny.
Last Resort decommissions the USS Colorado
While the fact that ABC sank the nuclear submarine drama is most certainly a WTF, the show went out with as strong a finale as possible given its circumstances, and we're thankful it made it to the air.
FTW or WTF?
American Horror Story's adequately tame Season 2 finale
On the one hand it answered most of our questions and was beautifully filmed, so yay. But on the other, a season's worth of depraved crazy culminated with Lana chatting on a sofa for an hour. Okay, fine, and she blew her son's face off, but there could have been so much more. Was it a FTW or an FTW for you?
Cult sitcoms dropping like flies
Though it comes as no surprise given the shows' paltry ratings, fans of quirky sitcoms lost ABC's Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 and Fox's Ben and Kate this week when their respective networks axed them on consecutive days. An already too-small roster of network series helmed by female showrunners is now down by two, though hopefully we haven't seen the last of Nahnatchka Khan or Dana Fox. At least this frees up Dakota Johnson and Krysten Ritter to perhaps star in a sitcom revamp of America's favorite frenemies, Betty & Veronica.
The film crew from The Office shows up
After years of giving the Halperts preferential treatment, the doc crew turned off the cameras to console Pam after Jim was mean to her. It was a little silly based on the content of the argument, but that was to be expected since the guy holding the boom was Moe from The Three Stooges movie. Also: Still no Werner Herzog sighting.
Glee ripped off Jonathan Coulton
Apparently, the Glee powers that be didn't ask permission before possibly (probably) using his arrangement of Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" in the show's mid-season premiere and the Lord of Skullcrusher Mountain is understandably unhappy about it. For goodness' sake, Glee, if you're going to steal an arrangement, at least take out the part where the guy says his own name. Do not mess with the guy who wrote the Portal songs. Wired has the scoop.