FTW vs. WTF: The TV Week in Review (January 9 - 15)

The universe kicked us all in the guts with the double-whammy loss of David Bowie and Alan Rickman. We imagine it's been hard to pay attention to shows when you're playing "Lazarus" on repeat and marathoning all eight Harry Potter films. Maybe the small piece of good news to come out of this terrible-cancer-is-the-absolute-worst-week is that we kept tabs for you. We do what we can. 

Now let's see what we liked and didn't like from the week in TV.

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't finished watching this week's new episodes (of iZombie, American Horror Story: Hotel, or Teachers etc.), we suggest that you hold off on reading this story until you do.


Sally discovers social media on the American Horror Story: Hotel finale

Yeah, the finale of Hotel was mostly "Ehhh" with a side order of totally predictable, but Sally's glee when Iris introduced her to the wonderful world of self-indulgent social media was delightful. So the next time you roll your eyes at that one humblebrag you went to high school with complaining about the leg room on her annual flight to Punta Cana and the fact that Delta ran out of those delightful shortbread cookies, just remember that the alternative might be death by some heroin-demon's drill-peenie. 


Man Seeking Woman goes web searching

This week's episode of FXX's dating comedy pretty much kicked Josh's ass. His girlfriend got a new sex toy, which was a jacked Australian dude who F'd the S out of her, and then she came to terms with the fact that she was a No-Joshosexual, a sexual preference that made her unattracted to Josh specifically. But the best gag in the show was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it quickie: A "Google" search in which he just typed in "H" and the search suggestions did the rest. 


This kid's hair on Teachers

TV Land's new comedy Teachers is like Workaholics with women, which is a good thing. Even better? This kid's hair, which "looked like my Aunt's haircut" according to one of her bullies.


iZombie goes meta

iZombie returned from its holiday hiatus this week with a meta episode that featured Liv and Clive investigating the murder of an actor on Liv's favorite TV series called Zombie High. Filled with self-referential jokes about Rose McIver's Power Ranger history and how "dumb" it would be to have a TV series where the zombie was the star, "Method Head" was a lot of fun, but if we take issue with one thing, it's that the show didn't go far enough with the jokes. Maybe next time?


Adele adds rap maven to her never ending list of perfectionisms 

Adele continued to prove that she is better than all of us and the queen of awesome everything when she became center of the latest Carpool Karaoke with The Late Late Show's James Corden. The two drove around London, sang the classics, and then she shut. it. down. with a rendition ofthe Spice Girls' "Wannabe" and Nicki Minaj's "Monster." This is the definition of Yaaaaas Queen! 


Colony ditches the exposition

That feeling of "what the hell is going on?" during the first 15 mintues of USA's new sci-fi drama Colony was actually a good thing, as the Carlton Cuse series made you work to figure out what was going on instead of hitting you over the head with painful exposition. Yeah, it's probably aliens (of course it's aliens) but thank our new overlords we didn't get an awkward five-minute speech about how they got here, what they want, and what they've done. 


Five years later, the Liars of Pretty Little Liars are still lying

The much-anticipated five year jump happened this week on the winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars, rocketing our favorite tortured teens past their college years and into that valley before inevitable quarterlife crises. If you thought that maybe that would mean that the girls would deal with more adult issues and that the crazy would be toned down a little bit, think again. They were already dealing with murder and roofies in high school. How much more adult do you want? Now there are South American revolutionaries in the mix and A is dead (maybe? probably? who knows) and, rather than pulling back, this show decided to lean into the madness. The premiere was table-setty and dull but the rest of this season might prove to be hilariously crazy.


Shannara is still beautiful, but those teenagers are moody

The Shannara Chronicles is still visual effects porn and thus will keep good ratings just because there's nothing else that looks like it on TV. This week focused on Eretria (Ivana Baquero) which was great because she's the best one, but the MTVness of it has begun to rear its head with its teenage leads eyerolls and "Ugh, this is so hard" bellyaching. That's a DEMON, bro! Look alive! The young leads need to remember they are actually in a hyper real fantasy setting rather than any other high school drama. 


The Golden Globes... so typical

Mr. Robot won a few awards, but then so did Mozart in the Jungle. Ricky Gervais had some moments, but then had some bad moments. It's just another yearly edition of the industry's most forgettable awards shows, but hey, congrats to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's Rachel Bloom for winning an award for best actress. Why not?


Fiona is still too Frank-like to be fun on Shameless

Shameless has returned and while Fiona (Emmy Rossum) has finally remembered she's the guardian of her younger siblings and moved back into the house, she's still making terrible decisions that prove she's more of Frank's (William H. Macy) daughter than she'd ever admit. In earlier seasons fans could sympathize with Fi, even when she made bad decisions, because it was always done with the intention of helping her family. It seems the moment she won guardianship of her siblings was the moment she stopped making decisions with them in mind. For the love of God please have a sit down with Debbie (Emma Kenney) before that girl does some serious damage. 


Shadowhunters was painful to watch, like really painful 

It's hard to tell which was worse, the contrived dialogue, the ridiculously obvious foreshadowing "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Mom! Promise! Because no one can tell something horrible will happen tonight if I say this three times!," or the sheer amount of material they crammed into 42 minutes. There was so much material without any substance. Was introducing Valentine (Alan Van Sprang) this early really necessary? Why are the Shadowunters in their field? Does anyone want to explain the relationship between them? No? Okay, I guess I'll watch some green screen flips then. This was far worse than awkward pilot syndrome. This show needs to figure out where it's going and figure out a better way to get there, ASAP. 


Second Chance didn't deserve a first chance

Fox's new cop drama tried to do something new with the tired genre but all it ended up being was dead on arrival. With so many ideas going on in one show—dead cop comes back from the dead to help his son solve FBI corruption while two tech billionaires need his blood to save one of them from cancer and the cop has a dirty past the may need to be avenged and also let's add some karaoke and high-class prostitutes—the show never found any good direction. It's the latest in Fox's failures.

What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week? Galavant? Did you like the Second Chance premiere? Was The Bachelor any extra crazy? Share your own FTWs and WTFs in the comments!