Intro! Intro! Intro. Intro! Intro. Intro. Intro. Intro. Intro! Intro. Intro. Intro. Intro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Now let's everybody please give a round of applause to our guest intro writer, Hodor from Game of Thrones (that last bit was shouted into a well), and get right to talking about was supermoon-hot and supermoon-not on TV this week.
IFC's "slightly off" Father's Day programming
Ah, The Shining—that beloved classic about a father and his son spending some quality time in a remote mountain hotel. Well played, IFC. Well played.
Mad Men's "The Quality of Mercy"
Don acted like a dick, Sally acted like a grown-up, and Pete was forced to work with an increasingly unnerving Bob Benson. Glenn returned, and Kenny almost died. "The Quality of Mercy" was an excellent penultimate episode to a generally awesome season. Can't wait for tonight's finale!
Buff-ass Adrian Pasdar on Burn Notice
Whether you remember him as the baby-faced vampire in Near Dark or the airborne Nathan Petrelli from Heroes, Pasdar as soldier-turned-terrorist Randall Burke is shaping up to be one of the more sinister antagonists Westen and company have dealt with. But even more surprising is how stacked the guy has become. He's like twice the size of his old self. Dude is swole!
Hannibal's salty, gut-wrenching Season 1 finale
There was no way things would end well for Will Graham this season, but that knowledge didn't make the season finale any less suspenseful—or horrifying—to watch. Between Will's realization about Hannibal, Hannibal's effortless lowering of the boom on Will, and then Hannibal serving up Abigail as "veal" to a perhaps more-in-on-it-than-she's-been-letting-on Dr. Du Maurier, it was one of the season's best finales. The only WTF is that we have to wait until 2014 for Season 2.
Wilfred gets Stinky
Orphan Black isn't the only clone show on television. The Season 3 premiere of FX's weird comedy revealed that Wilfred was cloned, giving us twice as much of the pooch we love and providing Jason Gann with an opportunity to show off what Wilfred would be like as a spoiled mutt.
True Blood's premiere leaves us hopeful for the rest of Season 6
Yes, the show is ridiculous and it's certainly got a lot of work to do this season, but "Who Are You, Really" was fun overall and earned a lot of goodwill by mostly letting us rest our eyeroll-happy peepers. Between killing Luna, bringing back the old Bill (if only for a bit), and giving us a great scene with Lafayette—not to mention a good look at Alcide's bare ass—we're excited to see what the rest of this season has in store.
Stephen Colbert's touching tribute to his mom
“If you watch this show, and you like this show, that’s because of everybody that works here, and I’m lucky to be one of them. But when you watch the show, if you also like me, that’s because of my mom.” The late-night host opened his first new episode after his mother's recent passing with a eulogy so moving that we couldn't help but tear up while watching it.
Holsten's Confectionary's touching tribute to James Gandolfini
The New Jersey sweet shop reserved the booth where The Sopranos filmed its famous last scene, in memory of the late actor and one of his most iconic roles.
Futurama is back, one last time
Sure, technically anything could happen—maybe the beloved animated series will be saved from cancellation once again. But that won't stop us from cherishing this final-until-we-hear-otherwise season like it's the last. Because it probably is. And while Wednesday's two-episode premiere was a little rocky at times, there was still lots to like: Flatland! Simian 7! The return of Guenter! Our Wednesdays just got a bit brighter, at least for the next couple months. (WTF to Comedy Central for spoiling the zoo twist of "Fry and Leela's Big Fling" in its promos, though.)
The Borgias' season-turned-series finale still satisfies
Showtime's decision to end the show with Season 3 certainly wasn't ideal, but "The Prince" did a pretty respectable job of closing out the series on a high note. As a season finale it was solid, as an on-purpose series finale it was just so-so, but given the circumstances, it was a decent farewell.
R.I.P. James Gandolfini
There's little we can say that hasn't already been said: The Sopranos actor died too young, and he will be missed.
The Bachelorette's awkward Hurricane Sandy outreach
We're fully aware that we've entered broken record territory with our Bachelorette WTFs (Can't. Stop. Watching...), but one of this week's dates involved a helicopter tour of the Jersey Shore to see the damage inflicted by Hurricane Sandy. Don't get us wrong, the older couple who Des and her hunky hunk met and gave their date to was adorable and completely deserving of some good luck—but no matter how you slice it, surveying the site of a natural disaster isn't exactly romantic, and phony philanthropy from an ABC dating show isn't going to be what tips the scales toward getting the area back on track.
The first trailer for Beware the Batman doesn't wow
Since Cartoon Network canceled the good-to-decent shows of its DC Nation programming block, we've been awaiting the upcoming premiere Beware the Batman with cautious optimism. The sizzle reel offers only a few action sequences, but the decision to use lesser-known DC villains—the ones seen in the trailer include Magpie, Anarky, Professor Pyg, and Mister Toad—could make the show stand out even if the animation has the same plastic-feeling 3-D CGI that took Green Lantern: The Animated Series a while to grow into (or maybe we just got used to it). Guess will find out when the series debuts on July 13, but we were hoping for a little more excitement, you know?
FX's comedy trajectory
The green light for a Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer multi-camera sitcom about odd-couple lawyers is the latest project to come out of "see how 10 episodes do and then order 90 more" model made famous by Ice Cube and Tyler Perry, and the third for FX (Anger Management and George Lopez's upcoming sitcom being the other two). Guess what? Those kinds of comedies tend to be pretty crappy! So please don't confuse them with FX's other, better work, like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Louie, and The League. Those shows will anchor the yet-to-launch FXX, where comedy will still be awesome.
The big C on Warehouse 13
Myka Bering found out she has ovarian cancer because Warehouse 13 is totally the sort of mature and thoughtful series that excels at nuanced stories like a life-shattering cancer diagnosis. It definitely won't be the most WTF RU THINKING? storyline of the season. Nope. Never.
The Paula Deen "situation"
After a week full of allegations and admissions over using the N-word and wanting to stage a "plantation-style" wedding with black waiters dressed as slaves, the pro-butter celebrity chef filmed a flimsy apology and then got fired anyway. We're not saying that Bill Maher doesn't have a point with regard to our "outrage economy," but being born 60 years ago isn't an excuse; we're pretty confident that the only thing Deen is truly sorry about is that she got caught.
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week?