Hopefully this difficult week only put a damper on your shoes instead of drowning your spirits, and Hurricane Sandy left you mostly untouched. But if you were busy bailing buckets of water out of your bathroom, we're really, truly sorry. And at the very least, we have you covered on the TV you may have missed! Here are our favorite (and not-so-favorite) moments from the week that was.
Between those and the "Jefferson Starships" of Season 6, Dean should just be allowed to name everything from now on.
Google's Bob Ross "Google Doodle"
The legendary PBS painter of happy trees was honored by the search giant on Monday, which would have been the artist's 70th birthday.
Hurricane Sandy reporters in slickers and knee-deep water
Say what you will about the ol' "Al Roker in the rain" routine, but there was pretty solid domestic hurricane coverage by everyone as the Northeast got pounded by the superstorm, so congratulations to all the news outlets. And we'll never tire of watching CNN reporters hold on to their hoods and squint as Mother Nature has her way with them. However, if we'd relied soley on American media for coverage of the hurricane, we wouldn't even know that Sandy stopped in the Caribbean first and devastated Haiti, Jamaica, and Cuba, too.
Sister Jude tumbles off the wagon on American Horror Story
Jessica Lange's character dipped into the communal wine, introduced a movie to a bunch of howling inmates, and went searching for "that damn Mexican" in one of the series' funniest scenes to date. All it was missing was Jude caning Pepper.
Around the Horn's insane Halloween episode
Pardon the Interruption's little brother added in-character sports commentary to its usual mix of screaming, and the showdown between Tim Cowlishaw as the ghost of former Raiders owner Al Davis and Israel Gutierrez as President Obama became an instant gem that should be run on ESPN Classic forever.
Claire Danes and Damian Lewis, your Emmys are waiting for you
After the incredible interrogation scene in last Sunday's episode of Homeland, both actors totally deserve to win again.
Don't Trust the B----'s Halloween-themed romantic comedy
Things got real meta, real fast when Chloe's annual Halloween tradition—ruining somebody's life—was thrown back in her face by faux-beau Benjamin, who not only turned out to be Australian but got her arrested by the TSA by planting a switchblade in her purse. Bonus points for June's refusal to accept her status as a supporting character and James van der Beek's Halloween "Positivity" Party.
Ben and Kate's surprisingly heartfelt rejection of princess culture
After BJ (who is the best) first protested that Kate's aversion to allowing her daughter to dress up as a princess was an overreaction, she later encountered some grown-up girls who'd clearly continued down the princess road directly into slut-town. The scene where BJ took it upon herself to track down Kate's daughter and read to her a bedtime story with a female scientist for a hero was a short and quick reminder of what we've come to love about this show.
The Mindy Project's Mindy dressed up as Diane from Cheers
Sexy AND funny!
Eliza Coupe, comedy genius
The Happy Endings actress continues to kill it. OBVIOUSLY Jane never leaves the house without her ideal salary (plus a counter offer) written on a folded-up piece of paper. Obviously.
The Vampire Diaries' Claire Holt steals the show
Criminally billed as a "guest star," Claire Holt's performance as Rebekah has been a series highlight ever since she first appeared as Klaus's millenium-old little sister. Her whiplash-inducing shifts from bitchy to vulnerable have not only made for great TV, they've provided a poignant thesis statement for the show: No matter how old or powerful you are, sometimes you just want to be a teen. This week's episode of TVD may not have been perfect, but it was centered on a top-notch performance from Holt, so we are not complaining.
Adam Levine somehow lived through three episodes of American Horror Story
The man lost an arm, took a few pointy objects violently to the chest, and then proceeded to be dragged around the abandoned Briarcliff hospital by his lady friend and the homicidal monster/crazy person (people?) trying to kill them. We'd assumed Levine's much-touted acting debut would be more interesting than three episodes' worth of lying on the floor covered in stage blood and groaning. If he somehow survives the gunshot he sustained this week, we'll know there's something seriously wrong with Bloody Face's (and his copycats') methods.
Revolution's pre-title fake-out
You know that big scene in dramas before the title screen rolls that's supposed to get you super amped for the rest of the episode? This week, Revolution kicked things off with a gun held to Miles head, let the opening credits roll, and then came back after commercials with the gunman saying, "Haha, you should have seen the look on your face!" If this show got any lazier, it would be asleep.
Plot points hinged around male violence against women (New Girl, American Horror Story)
SORRY FOR BEING A BUMMER. But just because something is narratively justified doesn't mean it's fun to watch. Nick accidentally punching Jess in the face was meant to be, um, comedic? But we found it straight-up troubling. And poor Shelley on American Horror Story! We know that show's supposed to be filled with horrifying moments, but we'd probably prefer alien abductions to attempted rape. You know? Call us old-fashioned.
And not just because she f*cked up the TV schedule. Seriously, what a bitch.
We didn't get a chance to put together a "Who Won This Year's TV Halloween Costume Contest?" story this year
Shame on us, we totally dropped the ball. Please pick it up by naming your favorite Halloween episodes and character costumes in the comments!
What's on *your* list of TV loves and hates this week?