Halloween is only a week and a half away and you still don't have a costume! Well, TV.com's trusty FTW vs. WTF column is here to help you out. Don't bother with Twerkin' Miley or Twerkin' John Boehner—we can guarantee a unique costume that no one else will have: a human-sized version of FTW vs. WTF! Just hold down the following keyboard combination to print out a super high-resolution version of FTW vs. WTF with armholes and eyeholes: Control-Shift-Command-/-Ω-Tab-PowerButton-VolumeUp-&-P. Feel free to cut off the sleeves to make it a Sexy FTW vs. WTF, so you can show all those Sexy Nurses and Sexy John Boehners who's boss. And while you stretch your fingers in preparation for that daring keyboard combination, why not check out what was a trick and what was a treat on TV this week?
Toy Story of Terror! on ABC
Pixar shrekked the halls of the Toy Story universe with a host of horror-movie homages for its first made-for-TV holiday special, and the result was a delightful half-hour that we'll look forward to watching again in years to come.
Stevie's window punch on Eastbound & Down
There's an old saying that goes "Analyzing humor is like dissecting
a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies." So on that
note, forget about the how or why, and just relive the glory of Stevie
getting so pumped about Kenny's recent television appearance that he
makes some inappropriate remarks to "Lady Powers," then punches out a
car window and proceeds to bleed and scream throughout the cold opening.
The show has a habit of losing momentum toward the end of its seasons, but so far, Annie undercover in Europe while pretty much everyone else thinks she's dead is... actually really good!
Scandal pumps the brakes a bit... with a bomb-related hostage situation
After two tremendous, nutty episodes to start the season, Scandal proved that can still tell stories not explicitly about Olivia and Fitz with an effort involving a bomb threat, a thrilling hostage situation, and more government secrets. Rowan's ongoing influence just keeps pulling in more and more characters, and giving Joe Morton all the scenery to chew.
American Horror Story: Coven's leading ladies are spellbinding
Expectations for Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett joining Jessica Lange on American Horror Story were very high. Somehow after just two episodes, the trio have magicked those expectations out of the water. All three actresses were on fire in this week's episode, delivering one ridiculous line after another with full commitment to the cause. Ryan Murphy does a lot of things wrong, but we really have to hand it to him for creating this showcase for great veteran players to do their thing.
The Honest Trailer for The Walking Dead
Let's be honest, this is spot-on. However...
Glad to meet ya, The Walking Dead's Beth!
It only took three seasons for farmer's daughter Beth to show some personality (outside of that suicide attempt in Season 2) when she shrugged off her boyfriend's death with a "whatever" and do something other than just grab baby Judy from someone else. Holy crap, Beth just went from Axel's jailbait fantasy and campfire singer to the hardest chick in C-Block. How much longer 'til she gets a teardrop tattoo on her face? Also, points for elevating Carol! Now if only Rick would stop being a puss and abandon this agricultural ambitions for what he was meant to do: shooting people/zombies in the face.
These Japanese kindergarteners singing It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia's "Dayman" give the gang and their Boys II Men a cappella a run for their money
The thing here is... what's going on is... this... ummm... okay. We give up. This video's been online this August, but we saw it for the first time after it hit Reddit this week. We're just happy it did. (P.S. This week's episode, "The Gang Gets Quarantined," had some great moments, too.)
Trophy Wife's fourth episode makes it a keeper
Everything came together for the ABC comedy that not enough people are watching in "The Breakup," which captured all of the frenetic energy of a super-extended family unit by providing every member of the show's ensemble with solid material. Warren used big words, Meg and Kate got drunk and ate Hillary's science project, Burt and Jackie tried to assemble a Lego Millennium Falcon and made salmon and popcorn, and Pete just wanted to watch Magic Mike. And because it seems like Trophy Wife will just keep getting better from here, the show went from "maybe the fall's best new comedy" to "probably the fall's best new comedy" in 30 minutes.
Masters of Sex's opening credit sequence
A little bit Dexter-y, a little bit Desperate Housewives-y, all awesome.
Tatiana Maslany's guest appearance on Parks and Recreation
She'll only be around for one more episode as a love interest for Tom, but it was fun to see Maslany play a character who wasn't burdened by the Clone Wars. In fact, she was very endearing as Nadia, a doctor who wanted to reserve a Pawnee park for a Doctors Without Borders event. She smiled and agreed to go out with Tom even after he acted all weird and Tom-like and spoke with a fake British accent for a quarter of the episode, and now we'd kind of like to see Nadia drop by Orphan Black Season 2.
Arrow is raising its stakes
OMG, Laurel's gone full-on crazypants, setting up a trap for Oliver/the artist formerly known Stupidly as The Hood/the Vigilante, because she blames him for Tommy's death (which, okay, fair—but she doesn't know the whole truth). "Identity" ended with a bunch of gun-toting dudes swarming Oliver at the D.A.'s office. Who just ends an episode that way?!?!
Hot Dam, Sons of Anarchy!
We have no idea why Walton Goggins' Venus Van Dam is back, but her surprise return was a highlight of the week.
Please don't disappoint us when it comes to a potential Sleeping Warrior storyline, OUAT.
Donald Glover's Instagram therapy
While we can all appreciate a person getting in touch with their emotions, venting by scrawling vague poetry on hotel stationery and posting photos of it to Instagram probably isn't the best use of social media—especially if kinda sorta attempts to half-explains your decision to leave Community. But we still want to give the guy a hug, emo-outburst or not. Now what's the REAL reason you left Community, Donald? And don't say it's because you feel like you're letting everyone down!
SVU rushes Munch's exit, but still makes time to honor his time on Homicide
Yeah, sure, it might've been a stretch to have him working on a case on his last day, but just like we wanted to see more of a Ziva during her last hour on NCIS, we wanted to spend more time with Sgt. Munch during his goodbye to SVU (thank goodness he's at least likely to return every once in a while, via that new "special investigator at the D.A.'s office" gig). HOWEVER: Clark Johnson's cameo was great, and Munch's episode-ending flashback—cut off by a ringing phone and an answer of "Homicide—I mean SVU—hold on, I'll get you a detective," was a lovely way to say farewell.
W/B-itches be crazy on The Vampire Diaries
Qetsiyah, a.k.a. Tessa (Janina Gavankar) arrived in Mystic Falls (or Mystic Falls-adjacent?) this week and gave women a bad rap when it was revealed that she's basically just been chilling on the Other Side for 2,000 years, stewing in jealousy and anger about Silas leaving her at the altar for someone else who looks like Nina Dobrev. Like, for real? That's what this is all about? Get over it, lady! Also, we reeeeealllllly don't appreciate you bringing that damn love triangle back to life with all your doppelgänger destiny.
Why are Barney and Robin the worst now?
How I Met Your Mother's soon-to-be newlyweds used to have a nice
relationship, one that was built on a shared love of scotch and cigars and cool stuff. Barney's love for Robin kind of made him a better human being. But now that
they're getting married, all of their storylines are truly painful to
watch. Whether they're choosing sides in a family
fight or spending an entire episode talking about how gross old people are, they're terrible. Not a great way to go out, guys.
Homeland brings back Brody just to make us sad
Nicholas Brody's return was supposed to re-energize the "thriller" that's been pretty sluggish as of late, but all it did was make us want to get pushed off a tall building. Now he's stuck in a dirty cell in Venezuela, shooting up smack instead of breaking Carrie Mathison's heart, and Showtime's one-time Emmy contender is an aimless mess. We never thought we'd say this, but if this is the way it's gonna be with Brody, then bring back Dana, STAT!
Do we need to be worried about New Girl?
The show has been dealing in lots of silly sitcom tropes this season, and for the most part, it's done a good job of elevating them. But after this week's "The Box," we're feeling a little nervous about what the writers might have planned for New Girl's core characters. While the one-liners will still there, everyone was pretty unlikeable this week. And while on one hand, maybe this episode was just an temporary misstep for a show that we now hold in high regard, on the other hand, could it be that New Girl has already flown too close to the sun, and Season will be its free fall? (At least Bank Lady was totally a FTW.)
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week?