Geez, has another week gone by already? Well, let's talk about some of the awesome and not-so-awesome TV that aired during it, then!
Suburgatory returned and showed off its talents
The ABC comedy returned with a talent show full of funnies: The Shays' silly cat dance to "Stray Cat Strut" and Malik's Medium homage reminded us that this series can be totally weird when it wants to be.
"We Are Never Ever Gonna Cook Together," a Breaking Bad / Taylor Swift parody
Too bad the guys who made it didn't think to invite Aaron Paul to participate.
The Walking Dead's Season 3 premiere
After a badass silent opening, the episode moved quickly and had tons of action, with just the right amount of personal drama. Plus it set up an interesting new home for the main characters. And ZOMG zombies in riot gear!
The Vampire Diaries' touching devotion to vomiting blood
It's not hard to believe that transitioning from a human into a vampire has its downsides. But this week's episode of TVD (which was genuinely fantastic) made it very clear: Being a vampire can be awful sometimes!
J.R. Bourne comes to Revenge
Your mileage may vary on this one, but fans of Teen Wolf or The Secret Circle (R.I.P.) must have been straight-up elated this week when the actor behind everybody's favorite hunter of witches and werewolves showed up in the Hamptons to hassle one of TV's most annoying characters (Declan obvs.) Fingers crossed for a violent showdown!
American Horror Story: Asylum's incredible cast
It's almost too early to single out any one element from American Horror Story: Asylum's premiere as it felt more like an expensive appetizer plate than an actual meal, but there's one thing nobody can deny: This thing has the best cast on television. From Jessica Lange's scenery chewing to Chloe Sevigny's commitment to being committed, there are no weak links.
American Horror Story: Asylum as a whole
New category! Because even if it is too early to single stuff out from the premiere, the episode as a whole was definitely "For the what the F?"!
Oliver Queen vs. a flock of seagulls on Arrow
In a flashback, Oliver's dad washed up on shore and was being eaten by menacing seagulls! So Oliver fought them off... and then he puked.
Brody's murder in the woods gets the sitcom edit
Vulture recognized the ridiculousness of last week's Homeland and added a laugh track to Brody's bad day.
NBC's bad monkey business
We wouldn't want to be present in the Swisher-Garcia household right now
This was an especially rough week for one celebrity couple: The same day JoAnna Garcia learned that her new show Animal Practice was canceled, her husband Nick Swisher—an outfielder for the New York Yankees—was swept out of the playoffs after his team's terrible performance against the Detroit Tigers.
What made your list of TV loves and hates this week?