This is your last chance to get ready for the fall TV season, because it officially begins tomorrow! To better understand this year's new shows, we recommend that you spend the rest of the day moving your dad in with you, giving yourself a robotic leg, partnering up with a legendary mythical figure from the past, marrying into a Hispanic family, coaching a Little League team, surrendering to the FBI, charting some orgasms, creating some ridiculous acronyms with periods in them, winning the lottery, and farting (The Millers). Easy, right? When you're done with all that, come back and read what we thought was good and bad about the week of television in this latest edition of FTW vs. WTF.
The Legend of Korra gets in touch with its spiritual side
The second installment of one TV's best shows didn't waste any time getting to the goods: The Southern Water Tribe has opened up a spiritual hole in the world, and the chief of the Northern Water Tribe wants to fix it. Except he wants to fix it by possibly manipulating Korra and invading the Southern Water Tribe. We've only seen two episodes, and already there's a civil war brewing!
We would totally watching Joking Bad
In what is probably the best tribute yet to the almost-departed Breaking Bad, Jimmy Fallon and friends did a magnificent parody of the drama, complete with cameos from Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Bob Odenkirk, and one very special guest.
Burn Notice concluded with Maddie the Mom-Bomb and the origin of Michael's spy tips
It was an emotional time for the Burn crew, in what would be their
last adventure together ever. To take away James' upper-hand, Maddie
sacrificed herself as a human bomb, with one last cigarette (after
quitting for the final season) and the line "this is for my boys." The blast took
out some henchmen and allowed Charlie and Jesse to escape.
Later on, a second explosion helped Michael and Fi fake their deaths and run off with Charlie to what seemed like a snowy Irish cottage.
Discussing how Uncle Mike should address his nephew's eventual
biographical questions, Fi urged her man to tell the truth and begin
with "My name is Michael Westen, I used to be a spy..." This implied
that the recipient of his spy tip narration during all these many seasons was in fact Charlie Westen, and the show went out on a high note.
The Mistresses cliffhanger!
How did Season 1 end? Someone got shot! Someone got in a car crash! We know the identity and color of
the father of Savi's baby! Everything hangs in
the balance for this crappy and trashy summer soap, but the biggest cliffhanger
still remains... will Mistresses get a second season? While we wait for an answer, take some driving lessons, Alyssa Milano's character. That was the WORST merge into traffic ever. Or at least, that's what we heard. It's not like we'd ever admit we've seen this show. Our girlfriends told us what happened. Yeah, that's it. Our supermodel girlfriends.
Mr. Show meets The Daily Show
Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, creators of the legendary HBO sketch show, stopped by Stewie's to promote Hollywood Said No, their new book of unsold scripts and unproduced sketches, and were generally their awesome selves.
Jimmy Kimmel punks us all
The "twerking fail" seen 'round the world was a late-night hoax filmed by a stuntwoman. Kimmel fooled "news" stations all over the country with this one, and that's pathetic. But it sure as hell was entertaining.
Graceland's Season 1 finale doesn't disappoint
In the end, the good (well, mostly good) guys and gals won. Mike got his job in D.C. Briggs didn't get caught. The house didn't burn down and no one lost an eye. The gang all got together for a beachfront bonfire, but they weren't quite ready to bust out Kumbaya because the repercussions of Briggs' double life, Charlie's run in with Jangles, and Mike's fall from FBI grace are far from being buried in the sand and OMG CAN IT BE NEXT SUMMER YET?
The first trailer for HBO's True Detective
We're pretty burned out on season-long stories about murder investigations, but the trailer for the cable network's upcoming midseason drama combated that feeling with a whole lot of Matthew McConaughey, who dons two vastly different hairstyles and goes on about the nature of evil within man in his typical southern drawl. Woody Harrelson's there too, and the pair are bound to have unbelievable chemistry... but we'd be lying if we said anything other McConaughey is has us excited for January.
Adventure Time provides the current generation with an image for the side of their vans
While Magic Man stealing Jake's perfectly perfect sandwich (and it did sound amazingly delicious) resulted in a very funny episode, complete with a fantasy wherein Mr. Cupcake wooed away a widowed Lady Rainicorn after Jake died, the image of BMO skateboard with an explosion (actually a molasses warmer rocket) and Marceline in demon form behind him was one of the best things the show's ever done.
Breaking Bad Breaking Bad Breaking Bad Breaking Bad
Holy ---- ... we still can't breathe.
Sons of Anarchy shocks... but why?
We love the chutzpah of show creator Kurt Sutter to throw a school shooting into the Season 6 premiere of the hairiest drama on television, but we won't fully know whether it was worth it until we see how it's handled in further episodes. Some viewers were outraged, while others cheered the shock. Just another day for SOA.
AMC kills The Killing again
While not exactly surprising given the ratings, AMC's decision to cancel the show that it'd already canceled once before still stings, especially after the creative renaissance the series enjoyed in Season 3. On the upside, at least Mireille Enos and Joel Kinnaman are now completely free to explore other projects and continue on their journeys to becoming acting powerhouses.
The Million Second Quiz is not the event NBC wanted
Its app crashed, no one used the hashtag, and no one's really watching a program that features mentions of NBCNews.com and other NBC shows interspersed with trivia questions. This tweet probably sums it up best:
No one has yet convinced me that MILLION SECOND QUIZ is not a 30 ROCK parody that became autonomous and is now the ghost in the NBC machine.— Charlotte Howell (@cehowell6) September 10, 2013
The X Factor is never going to be the event Fox wants it to be
When some poor sap writes the oral history of the Great Vocal Competition Shows of the 2010s, quite a bit of real estate will go to Simon Cowell's decision to leave American Idol and bring The X Factor to U.S. primetime. After countless judge swaps, the departure of some big sponsors, and Season 3 debuting to some pretty tepid ratings, it's probably time for Fox to stop giving Simon the "You Made Us a Bunch of Money in the Past" discount and just put the show down. The question now is whether or not the network can convince him to return to Idol by next summer.
SNL has five new cast members...
...and they're four white dudes and a white lady. Bold choices, Lorne. Bold choices. But at least one of them is Kyle Mooney, who was Norm MacDonald's nephew on Sports Show with Norm MacDonald and gave us this gem, and another is Beck Bennett, that guy who talks to kids in the AT&T commercials.
What's on YOUR list of TV loves and hates this week?