I have a confession to make: I used to love to watch The Girls Next Door. There was something ironically wholesome about a show that follows Hugh Hefner's three blonde girlfriends and the lavish lives they lead inside the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner never really gave off the creepy old man vibe -- he was more like an affectionate grandfather on the show, though that's obviously not true in real life. Anyway, Holly Madison, Hugh's former long-term girlfriend, was a true delight. She was savvy, sexy, and hilarious -- and her ability to carry on a decent and/or humorous conversation made me feel a little better about watching the show. Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt, the other two, weren't exactly at Holly's level but at least they had their own personalities and goals. They didn't flaunt their bodies 110% of the time, either. In short, they were kind of fascinating to watch.
Holly, Kendra, and Bridget all left the Playboy Mansion last season on The Girls Next Door; now, Holly's the star of her own peep show in Vegas, Kendra's got a reality show and a new hubby, and Bridget ... well, who knows. The point is, Hef had some bunny ear headbands to fill -- and all those years must be catching up to him, because he can't pick 'em like he used to.
Crystal Harris, Hef's current #1 girlfriend, is probably the least boring of the new bunch, if only because she seems to have some sort of issue with being compared to Holly. I imagine it'll make for some great fodder/cat fights later in the season, but it's mostly just petty and stupid. She openly states that she's in love with Hef, and that she's totally fine with sharing him with the other girlfriends, so what gives?
Speaking of the other girlfriends, I kind of hate them. They're twins. And before y'all get all pumped and say, "Hell yeah, twins!" consider this: Karissa and Kristina Shannon dress in the same clothes, eat the same food, own identical dogs, workout at the same time, and as Crystal put it, are basically the same person. Their twinness has been so thoroughly exploited that they're actually proud to admit that they're incomplete without each other. I never thought I would say this, but the K's need to take a lesson from the Olson twins and become ... wait for it ... different people. The twin novelty is going to wear off at some point, and when it does, Hef's going to be left with two shameless, obnoxious, boring, slutty sacks of hair dye, rhinestones, and fake tanner.
I miss Holly.
Season 6 of The Girls Next Door premieres Sunday, October 11 at 10:30 p.m. on E!