With a little help from Finn, Schue managed to track down his once-future-wife and woo her with song and the couple that'd been three seasons in the making decided to get back together and return to dating like teenagers. Which means the Season 4 Glee-boot that was necessitated by the graduation of New Directions’ most famous seniors and the introduction of their generally unimpressive mini-mes is now complete, with Glee forcing us back to Emma and Schue’s roots—where she is timid and uncertain about EVERYTHING and he’s, well, actually Schue was kind of okay in the beginning of their relationship, so maybe Emma/Schue Part Deux won’t be a mind-numbing repeat of everything we’ve already seen but I doubt it. At least Glee didn’t opt to drag out the Finn/Emma kiss drama. Finn kind of needs a new storyline since there’s really no excuse to keep him around as a fake teacher now that Schue’s back. So why is he still hanging out in the teachers lounge and exercising apparent free reign over the halls?
The boys and girls were pitted against one another with a movie-mash-up theme. The winning team was promised starring roles in Artie’s new film. Why must everything be boys versus girls with these kids? I cheered Britney and Blaine’s pairing, except that “Shout” seemed kind of tame and dull without all the togas and booze, and honestly, kind of anticlimactic for what was Glee’s official 500th musical performance. Glad it was an ensemble number, though. It HAD to be an ensemble number. Okay, and escaping the library on their stomachs was funny. Also table dancing. Love table dancing.
Fine, it was an adequate performance for such an impressive milestone. I just personally feel like “Shout” should always be presented as a beer-soaked festival of raunchiness. Because it should.
In the end, Schue declared everyone winners, but along the way, Marley told Kitty about the Ryder kiss because she’s a moron. There’s being sweet and seeing the niceness in everybody and then there’s being a willfully blind idiot and Marley Rose, this is your life right now. If I’m to continue making excuses for you and trying really hard to care about your storylines, I’m gonna need you to stop being a freaking dumbass when it comes to Psycho Kitty. However, on that note, I suppose it’s good that Marley ended up spilling the beans to Jake, too. I mean, he didn’t take it any better than he would have when Kitty inevitably told him, but at least now Marley can play the “HEY I WAS HONEST WITH YOU” card and maybe this will somehow lead to a humbling moment for Hate-u-Kitty. I can hope, right?
Meanwhile, while snowed in in New York, Kurt, Rachel, Santana, and Kurt’s new boyfriend/almost-boyfriend Doctor Who (nice one, Santana) watched movies and cried because of their problems. Rachel might be preggers, but probably not since we already did an unplanned baby bump with Quinn, but then again mayBE because this season has been all about the Glee-boot, but then again probably not because it’s Rachel. The jury is still out on that one.
Kurt wept because Moulin Rouge is sad and he missed Blaine and “Come What May” was totally their song and feelings and stuff. I’m actually torn on the current state of Blaine/Kurt. As much as I want them to get back together, I’m actually kind of enjoying Kurt’s new guy, and even though Rachel and Finn were held up as Glee's golden couple for the longest time (and maybe they still are, idk), Kurt and Blaine’s break-up—and particularly Kurt’s response to it—is finally starting to feel organic and honest. I still love them together, but at the same time, if Glee never returns them to their former status, that would be okay too. High-school romances can feel like the great love of your life in the moment and the break-ups can be intense and feel like the end of the world, but Kurt is in a position where I think he’s beginning to understand how to carry on a mature relationship that isn’t partially made up of hormones and happenstance. I like this new grown-up Kurt.
Santana and Rachel battled it out over personal-space issues and Santana’s assertion that Brody is clearly a drug dealer because he carries around wads of cash and a pager. Santana also spent an evening digging through her roommate's personal things because forcing its characters to act like irrational lunatics is the only way Glee knows how to manipulate itself into a touching moment—like the one with Santana and Rachel and the infamous pee-stick. Who digs through bathroom trash cans, Glee? Who does that? Granted, I can name a few people who do that in my own life, but those people are definitely of the aforementioned Irrational Lunatic persuasion and I was under the impression all these years that we’re supposed to, you know, LIKE Santana.
I did really like her rant about Brody being made out of plastic, though. Glee does mean so well. In fact, it does a lot of things well, which makes the things it doesn’t do all that well seem so much worse by comparison. Those things include making sense, and maintaining some semblance of stable personality traits for its characters.
But still, some of the movie homages in “Girls (and Boys) on Film” were downright impressive and honestly, for as much derision as the Glee covers tend to get, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t genuinely enjoy quite a few of them. Mostly I’m just sick of Marley being stupid and I think sending Emma and Schue all the way back to the starting line of their relationship was unnecessary. Just let them get married already, jeez.
What did you think of “Girls (and Boys) on Film?”
– Glee playlist time: They were all pretty awesome except “Footloose,” which felt incredibly tacked-on and actually pretty boring. I was prepared to hate Mr. Schue’s Say Anything homage because he's been nothing but a creep lately, but it was actually really cute and sweet. The “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend/Material Girl” mash-up was fun even if it BARELY counts as a mash-up. I even liked the Jake-Marley-Ryder rendition of “Unchained Melody” despite generally hating that storyline as a whole.
– Do you think the Kurt and Adam thing will last, or is Adam really truly a rebound?
– Do you buy the "Brody is a drug dealer" idea? He's going to turn out to be a gigolo, right?
– What are your thoughts on Emma/Schue?
– Will Schue forgive Finn for kissing Emma, or is this going to put some serious strain on their friendship?