What to watch on Tuesday, March 8th.
Your DVR might LOOK like an ordinary gray box that sits peacefully beside your television all day, but it's actually a hungry monster and it wants FOOD. I'm not saying that if you don't start recording more shows it will come alive and attack your children, but I'm not saying that WON'T happen either. Do you want to take that risk? Luckily, tonight you have many options to keep your DVR peacefully satiated and your children safe. Phew!
She's ba-aaack! Noted sex symbol Gwyneth Paltrow returns to teach the children of McKinley High all about sex, as well as treat us to another round of mannered screaming. Also, the kids will sing Prince's "Kiss"; THAT is good news.
Naptime! Haha, burn. Anyway, for those of you poor souls still watching this thing, tune in tonight to watch The Fifth Column (ugh) try to uncover Anna's plans for the Blue Energy reactor (WHOA! J/K zzzzz). Plus, Diana urges Lisa to betray Anna. If I wanted to see intergenerational lizard drama, I would've gone home for Christmas!
10pm, Comedy Central
Tonight's episode features a Web Redemption in which America's Dreamiest Funnyman™ has a tete-a-tete with extremely shout-y Stark County treasurer candidate Phil Davison.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 10pm, USA
Andrew McCarthy guest-stars on tonight's season finale of the USA Network's most Matthew Bomer-starringest crime drama. Will Neal finally discover the truth behind Kate's death? Maybe! Will Neal get undressed and make out with a hot lady? Probably! Come back soon, White Collar!
10pm, Science Channel
When Earth Erupts
Remember that one time when India broke off of Africa and crashed right into Asia and that's how Mt. Everest happened? You don't remember that? Okay, but I bet you remember all the names of the girls on Teen Mom, don't you? Fair enough, but would it kill you to watch something science-related FOR ONCE? This stuff is interesting, you guys! P.S. I <3 the Science Channel so hard.
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
Jump City: Seattle, 8 p.m., G4
Onion SportsDome, 8 p.m., Comedy Central
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., ABC
What Would You Do?, 8 p.m., OWN
Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, 9 p.m., Travel
Breaking Down the Bars, 9 p.m., OWN
Cupcake Wars, 9 p.m., Food Network
Dirty Jobs, 9 p.m., Discovery
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, 9 p.m., WE
Million Dollar Listing, 9 p.m., Bravo
My First Place, 9 p.m., HGTV
Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy, 9 p.m., History Channel
Raising Hope, 9 p.m., Fox
What Not To Wear, 9 p.m., TLC
Traffic Light, 9:30 p.m., Fox
American Treasures, 10 p.m., Discovery
Cuff Me If You Can, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Detroit 1-8-7, 10 p.m., ABC
Hard Time, 10 p.m., National Geographic
Hardcore Pawn, 10 p.m., TruTV
Lights Out, 10 p.m., FX
Our America with Lisa Ling, 10 p.m., OWN
Southland, 10 p.m., TNT
Teen Mom 2, 10 p.m., MTV
The Game, 10 p.m., BET
The Real Housewives of Miami, 10 p.m., Bravo
Top Shot, 10 p.m., History Channel
Let's Stay Together, 10:30 p.m., BET
What are you watching tonight?