HOW THE CAT STOLE CHRISTMAS
... Grumpy Cat, the internet sensation that all other internet sensations want to be, is going to star in a Lifetime movie. All you aspiring actors out there might as well give up on your dreams now, because you're never going to have a better, more successful life than this cat. Just accept it now, before you find yourself in the dumpster behind the local PetSmart pounding Yoo-hoos and asking God when it's finally going to be your turn to shine. The movie is called Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever, and it will feature Grumpy Cat as a pet-store cat that no one wants. Well, no one except the 12-year-old girl who can—not a joke—communicate with her. The movie is described as being "a little Home Alone and a little Die Hard." WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? [THR]
... Nickelodeon has ordered a 20-episode third season of the animated series Sanjay and Craig before Season 2 has even premiered. The series, which is second in kids ages 2-11 behind only Spongebob Squarepants, follows a 12-year-old boy and his BFF Craig, a smooth-talking snake. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure this is how the Bible started. Season 2 will premiere this summer in the U.S. [Nickelodeon via press release]
... In news that I'm sure will not shock anyone's parents or grandparents, NCIS is the most-watched television drama in the world. The CBS series received the International Television Audience Award for a Drama TV Series at the 54th Monte-Carlo Television Festival. The award is given to the TV series with the highest ratings worldwide; NCIS pulled in more than 57.6 million viewers around the globe in 2013. If that's the case, the world must think it's a normal practice in the U.S. to just slap your co-workers upside the head. [CBS via press release]
... Hey y'all! Do you like butter? Do you like carbs? Do you like subscription-based interactive digital experiences? Then you're going to love the Paula Deen Network! Launching in September, the celebrity chef's new online outpost will feature daily broadcasts of Deen cooking her favorite dishes, as well as special episodes that revolve around themes like Taco Tuesdays. It will be available via computer, smartphone, and tablet. [THR]
... According to some just-released numbers for the 2013-2014 TV season, fancypants rich people love The Bachelor—the ABC reality series was the highest-indexing non-sports broadcast in the 18-49 demographic in homes earning $150k or more per year. Meanwhile, people in the same demographic who've completed four or more years of college prefer The Mindy Project, Modern Family, and Parenthood. Which category do you belong to? And no, you can't be both! [Deadline]
... Brianna Brown, who played the wife of Barry Sloane's character in the pilot for ABC's upcoming alien drama The Whispers, has exited the series for "creative reasons," and the role is being recast. That's like saying you're getting a divorce for "irreconcilable differences." Just say you're tired of each other, it's not working, and if you want to lay on the couch all day and watch football, you should be allowed to lay on the couch all day and watch football! [TV Line]
... Two more actors have joined Homeland's fourth season. Smash vet Raza Jaffrey and King & Maxwell alum Michael O'Keefe have both landed recurring roles, with Jaffrey playing Aasar Khan, a lieutenant-colonel in the Pakistan intelligence service, and O'Keefe's playing John Redmond, a deputy station chief working as the righthand man of Corey Stoll's character. In a shocking twist, Redond will butt heads with Carrie. [THR]
... Ever wonder how The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, and other shows that rely on found footage make their montages? They subscribe to a service that allows them to search closed captioning for specific keywords! Here's a peek behind the TV magic. [The Wrap]
... The New York Times recently spoke to George R.R. Martin and he wants more Game of Thrones, too! Hit the link to read an interview with Martin where he discusses what more episodes per season would look like and allow; I gotta say, he makes some good points! [NY Times]
... This isn't TV-related, but it is an oral history of The Mighty Ducks franchise, so who gives a crap? [Time]
RECENT STORIES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED ON TV.COM
... Some of your favorite TV.com staffers have named their dream Emmy nominees, and will be sharing them category by category for the next couple weeks. First up is Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series.
... Dave Chappelle dropped by Letterman on Tuesday and shared some interesting info about his decision to leave Chappelle's Show.
... Sirens was renewed for Season 2 by USA. Hallelujah!
... El Rey Network has released the first trailer for Matador, its second original sereies. If you like soccer and spies and the guy who played Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2, check it out!
... Netflix is rebooting the '90s series The Magic School Bus!
... Starz renewed 50 Cent's drama Power after just one episode.