Dancing With the Stars has lured some pretty good celebs to its last few editions, but each cycle so far has included a few lesser-knowns in the mix (I love Jeffrey Ross, but he never stood a chance). That said, the next edition of the program is solid from top to bottom. Listen to this lineup:
... Pamela Anderson, Baywatch bunny and plastic-surgery poster child. This year's waltzing skin flick.
... Chad Ochocinco, NFL wide receiver (Cincinnati Bengals) and Twitter addict. His antics could be VERY entertaining, and just imagine all the clever headlines: "DWTS scores a touchdown with Chad Ochocindo!"
... Shannen Doherty, token former child star of Beverly Hills, 90210. If we're lucky enough to be blessed with a tantrum, it'll come from her.
... Evan Lysacek, the Olympic figure-skating gold-medalist. You didn't know him two weeks ago, but now you'll remember his name all the way through the end of spring!
...Buzz Aldrin. If you don't know who he is, go back to school. He's the old guy who we hope gets knocked out before his hip does.
...Erin Andrews, ESPN sideline reporter who became the victim of a high-profile peeping Tom case. The hottie that helps provide synergy between ABC and ESPN.
... Niecy Nash, from Reno 911!. Provides both a minority and female comedian for the show. Interestingly, ABC mentioned her Fox show Do Not Disturb in her bio. Can't we just pretend that never happened?
... Nicole Scherzinger. Maybe Pam Anderson is too old for you, and Erin Andrews is too much of a goody-goody for your taste. Voila! Enter Pussycat Doll Nicole, a perfect blend of sluttiness and youth.
Let's review: There are no old tech guys. No unknown comedians. And no tween pop stars. Heck, even I might tune in this year. Yeah, right. I'm predicting Erin Andrews as the winner, because she knows her college hoops.
But D-W-T-S wasn't the only ABC reality show with news to share last night, The Bachelorette announced its next
clap trap contestant, and as usual, she's leftover from The Bachelor. Ali Fedotowsky, who chose her job as an account manager in online advertising over "love" and left this recent season of The Bachelor midway through, will now have a chance to spread Jake Pavelka's oral herpes to a whole new batch of lonely men this May.
ABC, where love happens.