Jack Bauer Returns to TV... Sort Of

... Kiefer Sutherland is returning to television, but small-screen terrorists can rest easy. The former 24 frontman will headline the Fox drama pilot Touch, from Heroes creator Tim Kring. Sutherland will play the father of an autistic boy who can see the future. The question is: Will the series end up like the very tolerable first half-season of Heroes, or unwatchable like every other episode of Heroes? [TV Guide]

... This is either going to be the coolest thing or the cruelest joke in TV history. Nathan Fillion, star of ABC's Castle and former star of Fox's cult hit Firefly, recently revealed in an interview that he could buy the rights to the short-lived Firefly and get the show back on air if he wins $300 million dollars in the lottery. The interview hit the internet, and fans immediately started web sites, Facebook pages, and puppy masquerade balls, all in the name of getting the cash to Fillion in hopes of resurrecting the show. It's a long shot, but we're a civilization built on hope. And a society built on crushed hopes. Hey, I hear Summer Glau is available, so at least there's that. [EW]

... Glee makes millions ripping off other people's work, so the show is changing things up by going original. Two songs in an upcoming March episode will be wholly original, with one featuring the whole cast and the other sung by Lea Michele. I swear, the next time I mention Glee in News Briefs, it better be about the show being canceled. [Billboard]

... NBC has renewed The Biggest Loser, Who Do You Think You Are?, and The Sing Off, further cementing itself as the greatest television network ever known in the history of the universe! [Deadline Hollywood]

... Do you like old TV shows? Do you have Netflix? Well, have I got some amazing news for you! CBS has agreed to a deal with Netflix, giving the latter permission to stream the former's library of television classics—which includes Cheers, Twin Peaks, Frasier, Family Ties, Medium, and The Andy Griffith Show. Look for them in April. [Deadline Hollywood]

... Alan Tudyk (Firefly) has signed on for the ABC pilot Suburgatory, about a teen girl who moves from the big city to the suburbs. Tudyk will play the girl. Wait, that's not right. Tudyk will play a friend of the girl's dad. Why does Tudyk always take these weak roles? [Deadline Hollywood]

... Syfy has announced some premiere dates: Stargate Universe returns on March 7, Sanctuary returns on April 15, Marcel's Quantum Kitchen premieres on March 22. Plus, the network has bought the rights to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and will begin re-airing the Fox show on April 7, giving it a second chance at cancellation. [EW]

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