Joss Whedon + Neil Patrick Harris = Glee

... If you love Glee, Joss Whedon, and Neil Patrick Harris (and you know you do, because those three things are like puppies), then hold on to your beret! Joss is scheduled to direct an upcoming episode of the high-school-teen-musical-comedy, and like all things Joss cooks up, he wants to use his own ingredients. If CBS allows it, NPH will guest star in the episode and sing and dance and shoot rainbows out of his butt while doing the Tango with a unicorn. [EW]

... Speaking of Glee and butts, rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez is up for a guest spot on the high-school-teen-musical-comedy. Creator Ryan Murphy is going to meet with Lopez soon in hopes to get her in as McKinley High's lunch lady. Ryan, Don't forget to bring the tears of a Nepalese Sherpa and baby manatee carpaccio, per Lopez's meeting demands. [People]

... Obama's State of the Union address has finally been scheduled, and it won't interfere with Lost. But it will interfere with everything else! Obama will talk about how awesome America is on January 27, a Wednesday. That means changes for American Idol, Modern Family, and Human Target. Maybe. The article is kind of confusing. [THR]

... Vampire news! That guy who once played a vampire, Alex O'Loughlin, may have another job at CBS, who keeps throwing roles at him. The former Moonlight and Three RIvers star is being pegged for the lead in the already-greenlit Hawaii Five-O reboot. Alex, just play a vampire again already. Sheesh. [EW]

... Michael C. Hall won the Golden Globe for Best Actor on Sunday, and Bill Paxton should know about this technology called "cameras." The NY Post reports that Paxton may or may not have been caught muttering the term "cancer card" when Hall, who recently went public with his battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma, was announced as the winner of the same award Paxton was up for. Game over, man! [NY Post]

... NBC and Conan O'Brien are trying to settle their little tit-for-tat, and the most important thing in the universe is at stake: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph is property of NBC Universal, but Conan understandably wants to bring the pooch with him wherever he goes. But it will cost him. For me to poop on. Okay that didn't make sense, but I laughed anyway. [TMZ]

Heckle writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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