This is an actual promotional still from Sharknado.
INT. SYFY HEADQUARTERS
A dozen Syfy executives sit around a large table nervously, but the boardroom is as silent as a church mouse. At the head of the table, the SYFY CEO stands with his back toward his employees. Several beats pass, no one makes a sound.
One executive shifts his weight in his plush office chair, which SQUEAKS.
The CEO spins around, fury in his eyes, which lock onto the guilty party.
You have time to move in your chair but you don't have time to make Sharknado the number-one trending topic on the internet!? YOU'RE FIRED!!!
The weight-shifter quickly grabs his belongings, stands up, and runs directly into the glass door of the conference room. The BONK from the collision echoes throughout the room. Blood pouring from his nose and dazed, he opens the door and hurries out.
The CEO glares at the door, and notices a smudge where the fired exec's nose smashed into it. A beat passes, but the CEO's gaze never moves.
One of the smarter execs runs to the door and wipes the smudge away with the sleeve of his $6,000 suit and hastily returns to his desk.
As I was saying. What the hell happened to Sharknado? We released a trailer last week, and it appears all the nerds on the internet have already forgotten about it! It's a movie about a tornado full of sharks, for crying out loud!!! How is this not on the front page of every major entertainment website?
Sir, research shows the American people love tornadoes and sharks. They should go absolutely crazy over a tornado full of sharks. I don't know what went wrong. I personally oversaw the production of that trailer and my team all agreed: That was an incredible trailer.
Well allow me to personally oversee... YOUR FIRING! GET OUT!
Exec #2 cries, grabs his stuff, and runs into the glass door. He stares at the CEO, who is returning his look with eye daggers. Exec #2 wipes his faceprint from the door, opens it, and exits. The room stays silent, save for the CEO's loud, angry breathing.
The awkward pause is broken by some COUGHING. It's the cocky executive who came up with the idea for Sharknado.
Yo, boss! You know what happens when you put a moron like that in charge of things? This!
The cocky executive holds up some papers with all sorts of data showing decreasing social media interest in Sharknado.
Old Shit-for-Brains was right about two things. America loves its tornadoes, and America loves its sharks. But you know what else America loves?
The cocky executive scoots out his chair and stands up, putting both hands on the table.
(calm and collected)
Chainsaws. Give me 15 minutes in the editing room and I'll have Sharknado on the front page of TV.com in no time.
The CEO grins.
I like the cut of your jib.
Here's the NEW trailer:
Sharknado airs Thursday, July 11 at 9pm on Syfy. Keep your eyes peeled afterward, we're planning to photo-recap it.