Kiefer Sutherland Wears Dresses

... Well that didn't take long. Jennifer Morrison will be returning to House sometime this season, just a blink of the eye after her character Dr. Allison Cameron was written off the show for creative reasons. Last time I checked, I was not a writer for House, so there's no telling when she'll be back, how she will return, or how long she will be back for. Sorry to disappoint you. [EW]

... 24's Kiefer Sutherland "dragged" (nyuk, nyuk) himself onto Letterman last night, wearing a women's dress (as opposed to that weird-college-dude-who-always-wore-a-skirt's dress) on the Late Show. Apparently Sutherland made a bet with a friend that the New England Patriots would win their first-round playoff game. Tom Brady threw 23 interceptions that game as the Pats lost 165-2. Green is not your color, Kiefer! [YouTube, video embedded below]

... Dexter took down the greatest killer of all. Actor Michael C. Hall disclosed that he is undergoing treatment for Hodgkin's lymphoma, a form of cancer, and the disease is in remission. Yay! Hall is one of the best actors working today, so join me in unison when I say: "Eat it, cancer!" [Associated Press]

... Simon Cowell is already assembling his League of Supervillains for X Factor, and first on his list is Spice Lady Victoria Beckham. Cowell has reportedly offered the lass a job as judge for his future show at one million bucks an episode. One million? I'll do it for just $999,999! [The Mirror]

... Here's one clue that things are about to get boring on Grey's Anatomy: Life on the set is... peaceful. With T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl currently off the set, there's no drama for journalists like myself used to latch onto for cheap page views. Boooooring. [USA Today]

... If you watch TV, you will die, say Australian researchers. The Down Under study showed that each hour spent watching TV in a day increases your chance of cancer and cardiovascular disease. But how about this: Each time I go outside I run the risk of getting hit by a car or getting bit by that rabid elephant that's loose in the neighborhood. What say you now, science? [EurekAlert]

Heckle writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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