Lost Girl: The Not-So-Itsy-Bitsy Spider

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Lost Girl S01E07: "ArachnoFaebia"

Sometimes it's hard to name the best part of an episode, but in this week's Lost Girl, there was no contest: Kenzi's seizure-psychic dancing incident was by far the best thing to happen in the entire hour.

This little bit of hilarity was just another part of Kenzi's many cons, wherein she pretended to be an Eastern European mystic who could “cleanse” houses for real estate agents. Bo came along to watch the trainwreck, but was unfortunately too distracted to notice a giant spider crawling into Kenzi's purse. Apparently for a Fae, bag-snatching is far from the worst thing that can happen when you don't keep an eye on your stuff.

And I'm guessing that one should be especially watchful when hanging out in a house where two little old ladies were involved a muder-suicide, but that might just be me. Coincidentally, Dyson and Hale were also canvasing the very same neighborhood, trying to figure out why said little old ladies would suddenly want to kill each other. Dyson, naturally, suspected supernatural involvement. I mean, I've gotta know: How do these two always wind up getting the cases involving Fae? It's just so unbelievably convenient.

Dyson, Hale, Bo, and Kenzi went to the bar to discuss the case, and Dyson asked Bo to use her connections with the Dark Fae to look for leads... that's where Lauren came in.

So then Lauren, Bo, and Dyson decided to take a seat on the same couch, making it one couch with at least five couches' worth of tension. Lauren and Dyson argued about everything besides the fact that they both wanted Bo, but both were obviously just upset that they both wanted Bo. Obviously, Bo took the high road and downed several shots of liquor.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bar, Kenzi watched over the scene jealously, wishing not for either of Bo's particular aspiring lovers, but for an aspiring lover of her own. Hale warned her not to get jealous, but then proceeded to brag about how many “leftovers” he gets from Dyson. Saddest bragging round, ever. Kenzi reached into her bag, which of course gave the giant spider the opportunity of a lifetime. Oh noes! It took the bait and bit her. And the next morning the spider bit Bo, as well.

That thing gets around.

As a not-so-shocking result, Bo and Kenzi proceeded to get more and more angry at one another: Kenzi because Bo is more popular in the bedroom and Bo because Kenzi is a slob. And did I mention how Bo hallucinated that Kenzi and Lauren made out right in front of her? That probably got her goat, too.

Bo's brain wasn't so warped that she couldn't give Dyson his list of leads. However, it was warped enough to hallucinate Dyson's orders to kill Kenzi. And because for some reason Dyson doesn't know anyone else with a microscope, he delivered some crime-scene cobwebs to Lauren (his arch nemesis!). After examining them, she confirmed that they were dealing with a Djieiene, a nasty Underfae that causes people to hallucinate and makes them super paranoid and violent. Lauren went on to explain that the Djieiene then feeds on those emotions and makes its victims kill each other. Dyson, brainiac that he is, realized that Bo and Kenzi must have gotten bit, and sent Hale to help them. And after Dyson left Lauren's lab, she called a mysterious woman to let her know what happened. Previous suspicions that she might be bad are starting to solidify!

Bo arrived home to find Kenzi freaking out about a giant spider she saw. I wonder which spider she was talking about? The girls headed to the basement, where the spider had made itself right at home by decorating with tons of cobwebs. For some reason, the cobwebs were super scary (these two haven't seen worse?), so Bo and Kenzi ran back to the door. In a blast of spider trickery, they both hallucinated that the stairwell had been bricked over, trapping them in the basement.

Hale came to help, but Bo knocked him out with a frying pan. Why? Because Bo decided that the reason she'd been hallucinating was that she needed to feed. Kenzi, who wasn't unconscious, ran away, leaving Hale to become Bo's dinner. As a Fae, he was fine, but his energy did manage to ward off the Djiejene's effects. When Bo opened the door to leave, she found a quarantine outside, lead by the woman Lauren had called (maybe she's not so bad?). Hale woke up, and, of course, was promptly bitten by the Djiejene.

Dyson tried to get past the quarantine, but the Ash's security wouldn't let him in. They did, however, give him two hours to figure it out. Next stop: the bar! Though apparently not for alcohol, just to yell at Lauren for calling in the quarantine. Trick defended her, and after some research found that the Djiejene buries its heart, so the only way to kill the Djiejene is to destroy its heart. Using Bo's list of leads, Dyson and Lauren worked together (aww!) to find the man who brought the Djiejene to town only to discover that the Djiejene had implanted its heart into him! Using whatever surgical instruments she could find at the bar (surprisingly, she had plenty), Lauren surgically removed the heart.

So, back in the spider basement, everyone was trying to kill each other, but also everyone was really bad at it. Like, surprisingly bad at it. Hale had a gun that he just flat-out forgot to use, and Kenzi gave Bo a head start before shooting at her. Was this just the Djiejene's way of drawing things out to get more feed-worthy emotion out of its victims, or are Bo, Hale, and Kenzi just the worst murderers known to man!? In my opinion, the fact that they were all so ineffectual really ruined the tension. This scenario could have been something really wonderful, but for it to work I needed to actually believe that the characters are going to kill each other, not just let each other run away and use frying pans as weapons when there were better ones all over the place!

Fortunately, the heart was destroyed before any real damage was done. Lauren called off the security, which apparently she can do. Interesting: This gave us some insight into the Ash's hierarchy this week, which is something we've been curious about for the last six episodes. It was also nice to see Lauren and Dyson working together. They still hate each other, possibly now more than ever, but it's always good to see a show fleshing out its relationships.

With the danger over, Dyson brought Kenzi and Bo pizza. It seemed like such a chivalrous gesture, I know, but unfortunately it was less of a, "Glad you guys didn't kill each other!" pizza and more of a, "Why don't you heal with Lauren if you like her so much?" pizza. Oh Dyson. So mature. I just can't wait to see what you'll come up with next week.


QUESTIONS:

– If you were trapped in a house with your best friends, which weapon would you use? Axe? Gun? Frying pan?

– Would you buy a house where an evil spider made two old ladies kill each other? What if it was a really good deal?

– Was it okay for Lauren to call the Ash on Bo? She did seem kinda nonchalant about it.

– What do you think of the fact that Lauren can tell Fae what to do if she uses the Ash's name? What does this say about her position?

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